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Canid Commentary & Useful Hacks on Being Human

Overcoming Bad Days - Tips for Regaining your Positive Outlook

1/30/2023

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Overcoming Bad Days - Tips for Regaining your Positive Outlook
​Bad days are inevitable. They can be caused by stress, exhaustion, or simply having a run of unfortunate luck. No matter the cause, it's important to remember that you can take steps to turn your day around and regain a positive outlook. Here are a few tips to help you do just that. 

Take Time For Yourself 
When you're having a bad day, it's important to take some time out of your schedule to focus on yourself and what you need in that moment. This could mean taking a break from your work, going for a walk outside, or even just curling up on the couch with your favorite movie or TV show. Taking some time away to give yourself some space will help ease any anxieties and allow you to shift your perspective on the situation. 

Talk To A Friend 
It's always helpful to talk through whatever is bothering you with someone else. Talking about how we are feeling can often help us process our emotions and gain clarity on the situation at hand. If you don't want to talk about it in person, there are also plenty of online support systems available if needed. Reaching out for help doesn't make us weak; instead it shows our strength in recognizing when we need additional support in order to move forward more positively.  

Focus On The Positives 
It can be easy to get bogged down in all the negative aspects of our lives when things aren’t going as well as we'd hoped they would. However, it’s incredibly important not to let those negative thoughts take over! Make sure that when things seem tough, you take the time focus on all the positives present in your life - no matter how small they may seem! Doing this will not only help put things into perspective but will also provide much-needed motivation and strength while tackling difficult tasks throughout the day.  

Bad days happen - but they don’t have to last forever! It’s okay if things don’t go as planned or if something unexpected happens; take comfort in knowing that there are ways for us to turn around our days no matter what curveballs life throws at us! Remember these tips next time you’re having a bad day so that you can start regaining control over situations and get back into an optimistic mindset once again!

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Related blogs:
  • The Science of Gratitude
  • ​Open Hearted Burning
  • What You're Missing When It Comes To Reaching Your Goals​
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ADHD & Autism: Support and Resources

1/6/2023

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ADHD & Autism: Support and Resources.  Mindy Aisling
Over the past few weeks, many of my clients have requested more information on support and resources for ADHD and Autism.  I've compiled a list of notes and recommendations below.  If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out to me (mindy@mindyaisling.com). 

This is a long blog, so feel free to skip to the header of the topics that you're interested in.

Medication

Medication is a tool that about 70-90% of people with ADHD benefit from.  ADHD medication helps people to focus, sustain attention, reduce hyperactivity, and reduce impulsivity, but may not always help with organization, procrastination, and time management challenges.  People with ADHD often find that one medication works for them better than others, even within the same class of medication.  Even trying short vs. long term medication can make a big difference, so work with your doctor to find the right fit for you.  Some people with ADHD find that medication doesn't work well for them at all.  This happens sometimes and it does not mean that the person doesn't have ADHD.  

Psychotherapy

Some psychotherapists specialize in helping people develop and implement strategies for managing ADHD as well as help them reframe some of the negative messaging they may have received about their ADHD (for example: that they're lazy or unmotivated). 

In Bend, Oregon:
  • Robyn Migliorini, PhD
  • Michelle Shawver, PsyD
  • Brian Evans, PsyD

Coaching

Coaching can often be an effective tool to help break down tasks and goals into manageable, actionable steps and then hold the client accountable for the actions they want to take. Coaching can also provide the necessary structure for managing weekly tasks, and furnish an understanding listener during the times when frustration arises.  (You can schedule a free consultation with me here)

Behavioral Support & Strategy (ADHD) 

Exercise helps to reduce ADHD symptoms.  It is important to distinguish between exercise for fitness and exercise for focus.  Fitness usually involves a more intense period of exercise, while exercising for helping focus with ADHD can be 5 - 10 minutes of activity. 

It is best to work with your brain, rather than against it. This means that when you are having rouble focusing, it is better to just take a break than to force yourself to continue to try.  Alternatively, if you are in a hyper-focus mode, it's okay to skip breaks as long as you plan a longer period of rest and recovery when the hyper-focus is complete.   

People with ADHD benefit from being able to control the level of stimulation in their environment.  This could mean being able to have a quiet, distraction-free space when you need it - or noise when you need it.  This might mean wearing headphones or ear plugs in certain environments - or on different occasions. 

Changing environments can also be really helpful.  Moving from your desk to the couch or from your office to a coffee shop can have a positive impact.

People with ADHD often have the experience where if something is out of sight it is out of mind.  This means that they tend to do better when they place important items (like planners and pillboxes) where they will regularly see it. 

It is very common for people with ADHD to get interested in a lot of different hobbies.  The downside of this is that it can be expensive.  Often local 'buy nothing' or 'trade' groups work great for people with ADHD.

People with ADHD find it useful to create a 'launch pad'.  This is a place where all of your important things go before you leave the house.  Keys, wallet, mail that needs to be mailed, canvas grocery bags - anything you need to complete out of the home tasks.

Calendars can be hard to manage, but they can also be helpful.  Calendars are most helpful when there is a place to offload the "to do" items and other things that need to get done, and when necessary transition and recovery time are scheduled into the day.  For example, you might have a meeting from 10am - 11am, but might also need to schedule from 11am - 11:30am to recover and refocus. Often people with ADHD can 'gloss over' details of their day.  For example, if you need to be somewhere at 10am, you need to leave the house at 9:45, which means you have to start getting ready to leave the house at 9:30 (or earlier).  When you schedule all of these tiny parts of your day into your planner, you have less of a tendency to overcommit, be late, or end the day being exhausted and overwhelmed.  This is especially true for someone who is gifted with both ADHD and Autism. 

One strategy for helping people stay on task is called "body doubling" which means having a supportive and nonjudgmental person work with you to provide you with reminders when needed.  (See below for free online body doubling support)

Reframing Differences (ADHD)

People with ADHD often have trouble consistently using and applying strategies that involve many of the self-regulation skills they struggle with.  For some people medication helps, for others, environmental changes help - the key is finding your unique recipe and then having compassion for the ebb and flow of its use.  

Some people with ADHD will get down on themselves for not "finishing" things, like housework or hobbies.  It's important and helpful to reflect on what it means to be "finished".  Often we think of being finished as having some kind of final product or mastery, but that's a very narrow definition that doesn't serve people well.

It is entirely reasonable (and wise) to acknowledge that some tasks and activities are so challenging that they are not worth the effort.  For example, some people with ADHD will hire housekeepers, or accept that their house will never be as tidy as the 'expected' or the 'norm'. 

It can be important & healthy to set limits on actives with friends and family.  

It can be really challenging to reframe traits associated with ADHD and Autism as not a personal failing.  You are okay just the way you are, and it is even okay to struggle in accepting that statement.

Websites (ADHD & Autism)

  • CHADD - Information and resource hub for ADHD
  • ADHD Lectures - A collection of lectures by Dr. Russell A. Barkley.  You can also visit his website here.  He is dedicated to research and education on ADHD.
  • ADHD Alien - Comics about the daily struggles with ADHD
  • ADHD Comics - More fun comics about living with ADHD
  • Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN)
  • Wrong Planet - Online community for people with Autism 
  • ​Autism National Committee - Advocacy, education & resources
  • Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network (AWN)
  • Autistic Science Person
  • FLOWN - work accountability, body-doubling
  • Reddit:​ /ADHD, /ADHDWomen, /Autism, /AutismTranslated, /Aspergers, /AutisticPride, /Neruodiverse

Books (ADHD & Autism)

  • Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Russell Barkley, PhD
  • The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD by Lidia Zylowska
  • ​Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, PhD
  • NeuroTribes by Steve Silberman
  • The Power of Neurodiversity by Thomas Armstrong, PhD
  • Uniquely Human by Barry M. Prizant, PhD

Apps (ADHD & Autism)

  • Inflow ADHD
  • Structured
  • Routinery
  • Sweepy: Home Cleaning
  • ADHD White Noise
  • Numo ADHD

Podcasts ​(ADHD & Autism)

  • ADDitude
  • ​Take Control
  • ​ADHD Support Talk Radio
  • Practical ADHD Strategies
  • Autism in the Adult
  • Adulting on the Spectrum
  • Word of Mouth
  • ​Not Neurotypical

Social Media ​(ADHD & Autism)

  • ADHD Jessie - Instagram, Twitter
  • Sensory Stories By Nicole - Instagram, Facebook
  • We Are Unmasked - Instagram, 
  • Neurodivergent_lou - Instagram
  • ADHD Interrupted - Facebook
  • How to ADHD - Facebook, Instagram 
  • The ADHD Gift - Facebook

Facebook Groups:
  • Oh Look! More Relatable Autistic Content! 
  • Autistic Adults With ADHD
  • Autism Inclusivity

MeetUp Groups (Online/Remote)
  • Women with ADHD (WAM)
  • ADHD Support
  • ADHD Empowerment Community (for Women)
  • Neurodivergent
  • The Bright Side of ADHD

Reframing Differences (Autism)

Many people have stereotypes in their minds about how an Autistic person looks and behaves.  They might say things like, "You don't look Autistic" or "You make eye contact so you can't be Autistic" or "Maybe you're Autistic, but it must not be that bad because you're able to work."  These kinds of comments are incorrect and based on outdated ideas.

Many Autistic people engage in repetitive behaviors known as "stimming." These behaviors are an important means of self-regulation and therefore shouldn't be reduced, eliminated, or altered (unless they are harmful).  Many Autistic people (particularly undiagnosed/late diagnosed) channeled this into nail biting, cheek biting, fidgeting, or holding their hands in fists. 

Consistent routines and repetitiveness in general help to establish a level of predictability in a social world that feels very unpredictable.  Such routines also shouldn't be reduced, eliminated are altered (unless they are harmful).

Autistic people tend to have more focused and intense interests than neurotypical people.  Research suggests that engaging in these interests is positively associated with wellbeing and helps Autistic people develop emotional awareness, social skills, and coping skills.  Accordingly, they are encouraged to pursue these interests, even if other people find them "too intense". 

There is nothing wrong with needing support for tasks that other people can do without support.  Our culture is highly individualistic, but other cultures highly value interdependence and relying on each other.  What level of help is "socially acceptable" is highly arbitrary and varies based on cultural standards.

Managing the Sensory Environment 

Autistic people have a harder time filtering out distracting sensory information.  Accordingly, they often benefit from tools like noise-canceling headphones, ear plugs, and other devices to help the regulate their sensory experience.  For example, playing loud music through headphones while grocery shopping to help drown out some of the other overwhelming sounds might be beneficial. 

Other tools that may be helpful are weighted blanket, weighted clothes or sensory toys.

Because the sensory environment is so important, it is important to be thoughtful about your physical space.  The may mean keeping sensory and self-care tools nearby, reducing clutter, dimming lights, using rugs or insulation to reduce noice, and having help keeping the space that way.

It is perfectly reasonable to be thoughtful and discerning about clothing.  There is nothing wrong with dressing in a way that allows you to be comfortable. Reducing the decision around clothing can also be very helpful.  For example, if you find clothes that feel comfortable, purchasing multiples of those clothes and wearing them constantly is totally reasonable.  

Social Engagement (Autism)

One thing Autistic people are taught by society is that they should endure discomfort for the comfort of others.  For example, they should make eye contact even though it makes them uncomfortable.  This makes it mush more challenging for Autistic people to know when they're feeling discomfort (as they have been taught to ignore and discard it) and set boundaries that they are actually comfortable with.  Learning to monitor discomfort, set boundaries and conceive their own boundaries as acceptable is an import goal for Autistic people.

Many Autistic people benefit from preparing for new situations by researching them ahead of time and getting a very explicit and clear understanding of expectations.  For example, if you're going to a new restaurant, it is often helpful to look at the restaurant's website, seeing how the outside of the building looks on Google Street View, reviewing the menu, and knowing ahead of time where the bathrooms are. 

Autistic people often need more scripting and pre-planning for social events than neurotypical people.  This means that they benefit form more time to prepare for events, which is a normal and reasonable thing.

Autistic people tend to do better with digital communication than real time communication as this allows them to take the time they need to process information. 

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​Related Blogs:
​10 Famous High-Achievers with ADHD
The Distraction Epidemic & Tools To Increase Your Focus
5 Wellness Apps You'd Wish You Known About Sooner

​I hope this was helpful. If you have questions, thoughts, or things to add to this blog, post a comment below or email me (mindy@mindyaisling.com)
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Letting Go of Resistance is Key to Finding More Joy in Life

11/15/2022

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Letting Go of Resistance is Key to Finding More Joy in Life
We all have moments of resistance in our lives. Whether it’s resistance to change, resistance to new ideas, or just resistance to taking action, these moments can hold us back and prevent us from achieving our goals.

While resistance is a natural part of life, it’s important to remember that we always have a choice in how we respond to it. We can either let the resistance control us, or we can choose to let go of it and move forward.
​
When we choose to let go of resistance, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and new opportunities for joy. Here are three reasons why letting go of resistance is key to finding more joy in life
Finish reading this article on Medium
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What is Slow Living & How Do You Start?

10/25/2022

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What is Slow Living & How Do You Start?
Wikipedia defines Slow Living as "a lifestyle which encourages a slower approach to aspects of everyday life."  I define Slow Living as: Intentionally behaving in a way that calms my nervous system, aligns my values with my actions, and cultivates everyday joy in my life. I define it as a rebellious revolution against hustle culture.  I define it as necessary.  I define it as survival. 
Most people I know are unwell right now.  The impacts of the global pandemic, recent political upheaval, climate change being seen around the world, and (of course) the constant speeding up of everything, every single damn day.  There is this low-grade panic that I sense in everyone I meet.  As if there is a tiny voice of fear whispering, "Move faster so that it won't catch you, stay logged in, keep checking, keep scrolling, it's all going to hell, keep running, don't stop"... and then the flip side of the amygdala response - "hide, stay inside, don't let them see you, don't let them know you, stay small, stay quiet." 
What is Slow Living
None of this feels good.  This unseen, but heavily felt, pressure is a sign of an impaired nervous system.  Unchecked, this can lead to severe illness.  It's time to take action now, and it is why I define slow living as a conscious choice to survive.  I believe that individually we need to find a way to reclaim our wellness - and collectively, as a society, if we don't do this, we'll see certain destruction.  We are living in a world that is not built to support us in our wellness, and we must actively change this by collectively doing less - our humanity depends on it.​
Dr. Jenelle Kim says that "Slow living is a conscious approach to life that involves living slower so you can appreciate each moment and prioritize what matters in life,"   This way of living is, of course, far removed from what society has normalized.  The belief that we must work hard to be rewarded has become ingrained in us.  Slow living challenges us to contemplate life (and our intrinsic value) differently and allows us to experience ourselves, and the world around us, more fully.  Slow living is choosing our wellness, and our happiness over anything (and everything) else.  
Signs of Stress, Dysregulated Nervous System & Burnout
stress, anxiety, depression
headaches
brain fog
irritability
weight gain
musculoskeletal pain
fatigue
sleep disorders
increased alcohol use
frequent illness
self-doubt
feeling helpless
memory loss
overwhelm
skin conditions
gut conditions
​high sensitivity
Benefits of Slow Living
increased happiness
increased peace
better sleep
improved digestion
regulated/stable energy
elevated mood
reduced muscle tension
lower blood pressure
increased gratitude
improved relationships
improved mental clarity
improved focus
improved creativity
increased flow state
improved rest
improved exercise
​increased authenticity
The benefits of slow living are clear, so the next question is, how do you start?  When you're deep in the hustle, running on the hamster wheel at full speed, it is challenging to see a path out.  I've been there, I get it.  Here are a few things you can do to lay the bricks of the path that will become your exit strategy. 
The first step is acknowledging that you want something different in your life and believing that it is possible for you.  You don't have to know how it's going to happen, you just need to make the decision in your heart and mind that something is going to be different, you are going to change the rules and take back your wellness and your joy.  This is a great time to talk with your partner, kids, or friends about your decision.  Building a support system to help you transition into a new chapter of your life is extremely valuable.  However, it is good to remember that the people you share your decision with might have a negative reaction - that's okay, that is just the fear playing out inside of them.  That doesn't mean it is the wrong decision on your part. Have patience, have compassion, and stay the course. 
The second step is beginning to create a little bit of breathing room for yourself.  Start with 5 minutes if that is all you can find.  Allow yourself to sit quietly for 5 minutes.  Stare at the ceiling, listen to a song, listen to a 5-minute meditation, or practice deep breathing.  I highly recommend setting a timer so that you can fully relax for the full 5 minutes that you've committed to giving yourself.  This is self-love.  This is self-care. This is the first step towards what you want. 
Another small way to begin to reclaim your time, energy, and wellness is to unplug.  When you unplug regularly and don't accept the distractions our modern tech brings, you open yourself up to increased peace, and new possibilities & experiences.  When you unplug, you can be present in the world around you.  This simple act is incredibly healing. 
Finally, embrace mindfulness as your lifeline.  Mindfulness is being fully present in your experience.  Mindfulness, when utilized in all its power, can turn cleaning the cat box into a ritual of love and purpose - but we don't have to start there.  Start with your cup of coffee or tea in the morning and make it a relaxing touchstone in your day.  Measure carefully, pour slowly, inhale the aroma before each sip.  If the rest of your day is busy, doing this one thing slowly will have a ripple effect, creating a bit more peace and stillness in your day.  
If you're interested in slow living and the art of intentionally living your life on purpose -  join me on this journey by subscribing to my newsletter here. 

Online Life Coaching Free Consultation
Related Blogs:
My Transition To Slow Living
The Hands-Down Best Quotes About Self Care
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The Distraction Epidemic and Tools To Increase Your Focus

10/19/2022

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"The average attention span for the notoriously ill-focused goldfish is nine seconds, but according to a new study from Microsoft Corp., people now generally lose concentration after eight seconds, highlighting the affects of an increasingly digitalized lifestyle on the brain." - Time Magazine, May 2015
This quote is frightening, and I'm sure that you've felt the effects.  Time seems to be speeding up, and every day can feel rushed and frenetic. The pressure is greater, and the productivity is less. 

So, how do you begin to reclaim your time and focus?  Start here ⬇
First and foremost, you must end your slavery to your electronics.  If you don't think you are addicted to your electronics - try one (or all) of these things and notice the response in your body:
  • Leave your phone plugged in outside of your bedroom when you go to bed at night
  • Make a commitment to not looking at your phone until after your morning routine (breakfast/ exercise/ meditation/ journaling- whatever you do to stay healthy and sane)
  • Leave your phone at home while you run errands, go out with friends, or go for a hike
  • Don't look at your phone while you are standing in lines or waiting for an appointment
  • Make a commitment to not look at work emails before your start time, and after your clock-out time
  • Spend one entire day electronic-free.  Put your phone, laptops and tablets away and spend an entire day connecting with your loved ones and the environment around you. 

How do you feel when you do these things?  Do you feel compulsion raising up in your body - like you just have to look at your phone or laptop?  Do you feel panic in your body - like something might be wrong and you have to check to make sure everything is still okay in the world?  Do you feel 'bad', like you are required to check text/emails/messages 24/7 to be a "good employee", and "good business owner", and "good friend"?  If any of these, or other feelings of resistance, obligation, or temptation, came up for you - it might be time to examine your relationship with electronics. 

With electronics, like in all areas of life, the goal is that YOU, the innate, wise, conscious you, is the leader.  Compulsion is defined as: "an irresistible urge to behave in a certain way, especially against one's conscious wishes."  Take a moment to identify the size of the gap between who you say you want to be and who you are.  This gap can frequently be identified in following areas of life: exercise, food choices, electronics, self care, emotional response and communication. Every single person has a gap - this is okay.  The realization that moves us forward is that we can make this gap smaller and therefore design a life that is more in alignment with our values and desires.  This, in turn, results in you liking yourself more. 
After you gain conscious control over your relationship with electronics, you can begin to use them, instead of them using you.  This means that when you have focused work that needs to be completed, you can turn off your email, social media, phone, etc. without discomfort.

While you can simply turn off your electronics during focused work times and off-work times, there are also a ton of tools to help you limit your distractions during work time.  Here are just a few:
  • Freedom for blocking distractions on all your devices at once
  • Cold Turkey Blocker for scheduled system-wide blocking
  • LeechBlock NG for free browser-based website blocking
  • RescueTime for time tracking with built-in website blocking
  • Forest for motivating you to put your phone down
  • SelfControl for a nuclear option
  • Focus for a combination Pomodoro timer and distraction blocker
  • PawBlock for distraction blocking with cute animal pictures
For me, here is what works:

Phone
The focus feature on my iPhone is set up to allow just a handful of people (my husband, son, sister, and dad) through on the personal setting.  In the work setting, no calls or messages are allowed through.  I use the personal setting for most of the work day and the work setting for deep focus sessions and meetings.  For instructions on how to set up the focus feature on your phone, click here.  I then schedule time to return calls in my schedule. 

Email
I close my email during meetings and deep work sessions.  Then, I schedule times to check and respond to email.  If you're not disciplined enough to keep your email closed, there are apps that can assist you.  Personally, I love Boomerang for all of its features - including Inbox Pause. 

Social
I have to use social to promote my business, so while I'm not a huge fan the impact that social media is having on our culture, I do engage with it - consciously.  First, I use Later to schedule 90% of my content.  This means that I don't have to log into all of my social platforms to post daily.  I do need to log-in for social media engagement, and that is on my schedule. 

Schedule
For me, this is key to my productivity.  Creating a solid schedule for myself is my lifeline to being productive, balanced and happy in my life.  For most days, my schedule looks something like this:
  • 4am - wakeup, breakfast, morning chores, time with husband and pets
  • 5am - workout, stretch, shower, journal, meditate, walk in the garden (not all of these happen every day, but from 5-7am is active self care most days.). No electronics until this is completed.
  • 7am - sit down in office, respond to emails, texts, phone messages, engage with social media
  • 8am - lock time for deep work, client sessions, meetings
  • 10am - check email and phone, respond to anything urgent
  • 10:15 - break.  Get outside, drink tea, eat snack, pet cats, stretch
  • 10:30 - reengage with work, lock time for deep work, client sessions or meetings
  • 12:30 - break for lunch (not in front of my computer!), eat, get outside, read a few pages of a novel, put laundry in
  • 1pm - check email and phone, respond to anything urgent
  • 1:15 - reengage with work, lock time for deep work, client sessions or meetings
  • 2:30 - check email and phone, respond to anything urgent.  Tidy up files, tabs, desk.  Take notes on day.
  • 3:30 - clock out, off work to have fun, relax and enjoy my life. 

This schedule is flexible, but I stick to it as much as possible - because it serves me to do so.  This schedule leaves me with 5 hours of solid work every day and 2.5 hours of responding to the world (email, phone, etc).  It makes sure that I take care of myself by assuring that I get breaks and lunch, and allowing me to sustain healthy work/life boundaries. 

Your schedule can be unique to you, it is simply the act of consciously controlling your time that it important.  If you're not sure where to start with creating a schedule for yourself, begin by recording what you do everyday.  You can even use an up like Rescue Time which will provide you with a report about how you spend your time on your computer.  Then, take a look at how your time is spent and make conscious decisions about what to change so that you align with who you really want to be and the life you really want to live. 

Exceptions
​I do want to note exceptions to my schedule.  I have both (high functioning) ADHD and Autism, which means that my brain works a little bit differently.  When I honor the way that my brain works, my life flourishes.  My brain loves to hyper-focus on something and work on that thing for 12 hours straight.  When I do this, I call it A-holing for ADHD/Autism hole.  I just made this term up and thought it was funny.  I swear I can get 40 hours of work done in 12 hours when I'm A-holing, and it is SO much fun.  I allow myself A-holes as much as I can when they present themselves to me & I feel like most of my genius, creativity and highest-quality work comes from these times.  After an A-hole, I always take as much of the next day off as possible and double up on the self-care to revive myself and get back on track.  If you have natural inclinations due to the unique way that your brain/body works - lean into them.  This will be far more effective than fighting them.  

Timer
I also find that I have days when I am more distractable.  Perhaps I didn't sleep well, something stressful is going on in my life, or there is a particular project I'm having a difficult time getting started. During these days it can be helpful to use a timer.  I set a timer for 15 minutes, and when that timer goes off I check to make sure I'm on my schedule.  This way if I 'rabbit hole', I'm only wasting 15 minutes (at most),  not 4 hours.  This is a great tool to reactive my consciousness, and my ability to be in conscious choice about how I spend my time.

Connect with Others
If you are a remote worker, there are a few really fun new platforms to connect with others, focus your time, hold yourself accountable, and create healthy work habits.  My favorite is Flown.  Flown provides virtual co-working sessions led by motivating facilitators - plus, meditations, breath work &. more.  Yes, its great even for introverts!  Check it out, and I'll see you in a Deep Dive session.  
The next chapter is about reclaiming your time and productivity.  Yes, it will be hard.  Yes, it will require discipline.  Yes, you can do it (and you'll be so grateful that you did).

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Related Blogs:
5 Wellness Apps You Wish You'd Known About Sooner
​The Science of Gratitude
​3 Ways To Stay Current on News Without Losing Your Mind
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5 Wellness Apps You'd Wish You'd Known About Sooner

10/18/2022

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5 Wellness Apps You'd Wish You'd Known About Sooner
While I am a huge fan of limiting the time you spend using electronics, there are some really cool ways that tech is being used to improve health and wellness.  I have tried a ton of wellness apps - for physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellness.  Here are my 5 favorites:
Insight Timer
Insight Timer is a meditation app with a large selection of audio tracks to choose from, including guided meditations, music, and talks by teachers.  It is easy to use with an excellent selection of content to choose from. Insight Timer can be used on your phone, plus they are a website/desktop version.  Here are some of my favorite meditations: 
  • Can't sleep? - Try this Deep Sleep Meditation by Kenneth Soares 
  • Rushed? - Try this One Minute Meditation by Don Reed, or this 2 min Stress & Anxiety Buster by Davidji
  • Love Affirmations?  - Try this Morning Meditation by Nathan Williams
  • ​Overwhelmed with the state of the world right now?  - Try this meditation by Alex Elle​
Breathscape
Breathscape generates music from your breath in real-time, creating an immersive experience that effortlessly guides you into deep states of relaxation and meditation. You place your phone on your stomach, and the app uses biofeedback to gently retrain your body to take deeper, slower breaths. Taking slow, deep, intentional breaths activates the parasympathetic “rest and digest” pathway in the brain and sends a signal to the body that it’s safe and ok to relax. This simple practice is clinically proven to relax and unwind the nervous system.
Yoga-Go
Yoga-Go is a great yoga app for beginners.  It provides personalized, simple home-based yoga and pilates routines to meet a variety of goals.  Do you want to lose some weigh, or improve your hip mobility? You can customize your workout.  This app also offers Face Yoga (which I love!)
My Water
Drinking water sounds simple, and yet many of us are chronically dehydrated. This app helps you remember to drink water and tracks your progress. 
Journify
Journify is an audio journal.  If you're like me, and your mind is buzzing with thoughts, ideas and pop-up wisdom all the time - then this app is for you.  It's great to use to capture your bright ideas - and also for quick processing/reflection on things that triggered you during your day.  Journaling about your feelings can reduce mental distress and is a highly encouraged practice for people dealing with anxiety.

Journify also has a mood analyzer and burnout tracker feature that monitors and breaks down your mood and mental state over time. It helps you check in on your daily sleep, energy, and motivation to know when there’s a decline or improvement in your wellbeing.

Change Your Life With Master Coach Mindy Aisling
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The Hands-Down Best Quotes About Self Care

10/13/2022

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The Hands-Down Best Quotes About Self Care
Self-care isn't just about bubble baths and long walks - it is a serious and necessary practice for living an authentic life.  It is the ONLY way to cultivate a relationship with your inner wisdom, and allow that wisdom to guide you in the world.  Self-care is not always easy, some self-care tasks like having a difficult conversation can require courage and dedication.  However, the actions of self-care, overall make your life easy and more enjoyable because they allow you to stay aligned with who you really are. 

​Enjoy these great quotes about self care:
Self Care Life Coaching Mindy Aisling
Accepting Yourself Life Coach Mindy Aisling
Loving Yourself Life Coach Mindy Aisling
“Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”— Hermann Hesse
​“To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections.”— Sandra Bierig
“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It’s sanity.”— Katrina Mayer
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Life Coach Mindy Aisling
Life Coach Mindy Aisling
“If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I am not interested in or open to your feedback. There are a million cheap seats in the world today filled with people who will never be brave with their own lives, but will spend every ounce of energy they have hurling advice and judgement at those of us trying to dare greatly. Their only contributions are criticism, cynicism, and fear-mongering. If you're criticizing from a place where you're not also putting yourself on the line, I'm not interested in your feedback.”
​- Brene Brown
Self Care Quote Mindy Aisling
 “Honestly, self-care is not fluffy. It’s something we should take seriously.”— Kris Carr
Life Coach Mindy Aisling Self Care
“In today's world, self-care is an act of rebellion." -Mindy Aisling
Self Care Quote Mindy Aisling
“Self-care is how you take your power back.”— Lalah Delia
Look the world straight in the face.”— Helen Keller
​

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“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”— Jean Shinoda Bolen
Self Care Quote Mindy Aisling
“Self-care equals success. You’re going to be more successful if you take care of yourself and you’re healthy.”— Beth Behrs
Peace Quote Mindy Aisling
“Always make decisions that prioritize your inner peace.”— Izey Victoria Odiase
Self Care Quote Mindy Aisling
“This revolutionary act of treating ourselves tenderly can begin to undo the aversive messages of a lifetime.”— Tara Brach
“Self-care means giving yourself permission to pause.”— Cecilia Tran
Stephen Covey Mindy Aisling
“Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.”— Stephen Covey
Deepak Chopra Quote Mindy Aisling
“The most creative act you will ever undertake is the act of creating yourself.”— Deepak Chopra
Self Care Quote Mindy Aisling
“Self-care is your fuel ... Whatever the road ahead or the path you’ve taken, self-care is what keeps your motor running and your wheels turning.”— Melissa Steginus
Elizabeth Gilbert Quote Mindy Aisling
“I think I deserve something beautiful.”— Elizabeth Gilbert

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Stop Feeling Guilty for Resting

11/5/2019

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Like many of us, I started working when I was pretty young (14), and for over a decade I held some outdated belief systems that didn't serve me or work to create the life that I wanted.

Here are some of the (mostly subconscious) rules that I had for myself:

 
1.     If you are not making a lot of money you are not allowed to rest or have fun.
2.    If you don’t work 40+ hours a week you are not allowed to rest or have fun.
3.  If you are starting to feel burnt out, work harder because you don’t want that weakness to permeate your being and ruin your life.
4.    You are allowed to take vacation, but only if you work so hard before you go that the entire vacation you are just recovering from the double-time work you did the previous week in order to go on vacation.
 
When I would run into someone who was ‘taking time for themselves’ and living a balanced life, and I would judge them fiercely.  At work, I would pride myself in never taking my breaks, and even sometimes working off the clock to finish the job.  It was clear to me that I was a ‘better person’ because I could work 8 hours straight without even going to the restroom. ​
Then, in 2010, as I started to shift my life and I went back to school to become a Life Coach, I realized that these are common belief systems that many of us hold. There is an entire culture of people running on this hamster wheel, racing to prove to themselves and others that they are worthy (worthy even of rest, or of having fun). 
 
It was hard for me to escape this hamster wheel because it comes with its own reward systems.  Not only from upper management, (of course they love that you are giving your life for their dream!), but also from our American culture.  We live in a culture, for the most part, that does not hold life-balance as a high value.  We, as a whole, define people by what they do to make money.  It goes even further that than that too.  When we hear of someone taking time off, working part-time, or god-forbid going on unemployment while they figure out their next move, we disparage them.  We think, “Ugh, they are not working, so they have no value!”. 

While I was giving up my life to meet the standards of being a 'good hard-working American', I was praised for my "work ethic" and so I continued to over-work so that I could feed my praise-addiction.  Now, I realize my naivety.  At the time, I didn't understand work ethic.  I thought it meant: to work as hard as you can for as long as you can, until you fall down exhausted with no energy left for yourself, your hobbies, your friends, or your family.  I was wrong.  Work ethic is about integrity, responsibility, quality, discipline and teamwork. It is about showing up 100% and using all of your skills, gifts and energy
 to create the best results.   You can only really do this if you are living a balance life. 

You can only bring your best self to the table if you prioritize what it takes to sustain your best self. 
​   
​
So, I realized I had to make a choice.  Was I going to live by my culture’s values, or by my values?  

I took a chance, and I chose balance.  I chose to rest.  I chose to have fun.  It was challenging to give myself permission to do these things.  It took work to change my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.  At times I had to grit my teeth to make a different choice than I had up to that point.  It also didn't happen overnight.  Just like I've had to train my physical body at the gym or on the track,  I had to train my mental and emotional body to choose new thoughts and actions. 

It takes 
intention and attention to be the leader of our own life.
 
Fast-forward 10+ years, and I can tell you, it was the greatest choice I ever made.  Life is not about working and paying your bills.  Life is about enjoying every moment.  Life is about feeling like your optimal self as often as possible. 
 
If you are feeling burnt out, then leave your desk immediately.  Psychosis is defined as: a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality.  I know a lot of people who work so hard they have lost contact with reality.  They have lost their health, their friends, their families, and their dreams.  So if you feel guilty about leaving your desk immediately, take a sick day.  Take a psychosis day.  Give yourself back to you, and then create a life of wonder and awe.
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    Mindy Amita Aisling

    ICF Certified Life & Business Coach, Authentic Marketing Educator, Small Business Advocate, Serial  Entreprenerd, Adventurer, Epiphany Hunter, Idea Maven, Growth Catalyst.
    --
    Mindy is passionate human seeking to live fully into the human experience.  She writes about emotional intelligence, authenticity, the personal growth journey, entrepreneurship, small business success, and How To Be Human: Vital Skills for Living An Authentic Life

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