 You might have heard that gratitude can change your life, shift your perspective, rewire your brain and help you manifest your goals. Let’s put it to the test! Join me in sharing what you’re grateful for every day in May, and let’s do a real-life experiment to discover how gratitude impacts our lives! Join me where you hang out online, and lets discover how gratitude impacts our lives! Here's where you can find me: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MindyAmitaAisling IG: https://www.instagram.com/mindyamitaaisling/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@coachmindyaisling I'm looking forward to being grateful with you throughout the month of May!
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The Laughing Heart by Charles Bukowski
- The Great Charles Bukowski 💙  Autism Masking TestIf you think that you might be on the autism spectrum, or you have recently been diagnosed with autism, there can be an enormous amount of questioning what is natural to you and what is "masking". Autism masking or camouflaging is sometimes used by folks with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) to disguise or suppress specific autism traits or behaviors in social situations. I was diagnosed in my early 40's, and everyone in my life was shocked. In fact, there are still many people (including some family members) that don't believe me. This is because I have always been seen by others as capable, successful, well-adjusted, and popular. Of course, nobody knew how much work it took to show up like that every single day, and how exhausted I was of pretending. To me, most of my life has felt like being in survival mode, and I never felt like I had the choice to mask or not mask. Even as an authenticity coach, I still tried to be "normal" out there in the world. Since my diagnosis, I've been working on expanding my definition of authenticity to include unmasking. Coming home to the truth of how I have been masking in my life doesn't mean that I wasn't previously living authentically - of course I was to the best of my current self-awareness at the time. Now that I am more aware, I've had the opportunity to expand even more into how I really am. Below you'll find a very helpful link to a test written by Dr. Natalie Engelbrecht. If you're curious about the level of masking that you're doing in your life, please follow the link and take the free test. If you're interested in integrating your results, please feel free to book a free session with me. 
 You Are Not Your ThoughtsWhile none of us are our thoughts, we all experience thoughts differently. Some of us have an active inner dialogue that runs 100mph every waking moment - and some of us don't have an internal dialogue at all. Some of us grew up in situations and with a family that programmed in us thoughts of positivity and safety - and some of us grew up in situations that programmed thoughts of negativity and fear. Some of us find the world a fairly easy place to live that makes sense to us (commonly neurotypical humans), and some of us find the world a very challenging place to live that makes no sense (commonly neurodiverse humans). Some of us are blessed with a chemical make-up that easily creates dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin - and we feel happy, content and loved... and some of us have bodies that struggle to make these "feel good" chemicals and we tend towards feeling isolated, depressed and anxious. This is ALL normal.  If you find yourself closer to the left side of this chart (unhelpful thoughts) here are a few suggestions: #1 - Be Soft with Yourself - Give yourself a break, wear soft clothes, listen to soft music, postpone that appointment. Make room to nurture yourself, and surround yourself with softness. #2 - Do The Work to Reprogram Your Thoughts - Yes, you can change your thoughts with attention and intention. When you are faced with an unhealthy thought, correct yourself by replacing it with a more positive statement: I am not *insert unhealthy thought*, I am *insert positive thought*. For example if you have a thought that says, "I am not good enough because I did not get this job interview.", tell your brain, "That is not true. I did not get this job interview, and that is okay. I am still safe, and it just means that it was not meant for me. It is not a critique of my self-worth, and I am still worthy." #3 - Get Support - Talk to your doctor about your mental wellness, and if necessary, get the medicine that you need to feel better. If you find yourself closer to the right side of this chart (helpful thoughts) here are a few suggestions: #1 - Get Curious - When you are around someone who seems awkward, negative, or strange to you, ask questions. Discover what kind of thoughts they might be struggling with. #2 - Have Compassion - Recognize that even though you might not understand what it is like to struggle with mental health, you can imagine how difficult it would be and have compassion that other people have a different experience of the world. #3 - Recognize Your Privilege - Mental wellness is a privilege, and as such, there are things that you can do easily that other humans can't. This allows you to have more opportunity, greater energy and more ease in your life than a person who might be struggling with mental wellness.  The Gifts of Being a Highly Sensitive PersonBeing a highly sensitive person (HSP) can be a challenging experience in a world that often values toughness, extroversion, and assertiveness. However, being an HSP is not a flaw or a weakness, but rather a unique and valuable way of experiencing the world. In fact, there are many gifts that come with being a highly sensitive person. Here are just a few: Highly Sensitive People Are Empathetic and CompassionateHighly sensitive people have a deep capacity for empathy and compassion. They are able to sense and feel the emotions of others, and are often the first to offer support or a listening ear. This empathy and compassion can lead to strong connections with others and a desire to make the world a better place. Highly Sensitive People Are CreativeMany highly sensitive people are also highly creative. They have a rich inner world and are often able to express their emotions and experiences through art, music, writing, and other forms of creative expression. This creativity can lead to new insights and perspectives, as well as a sense of fulfillment and purpose. Highly Sensitive People Have A Great Attention to DetailHighly sensitive people often have a keen attention to detail. They notice things that others might miss, such as subtle changes in a person's tone of voice or body language. This attention to detail can be useful in many areas, from detecting potential problems in a project to noticing the beauty in the world around us. Highly Sensitive People Have Strong IntuitionsHighly sensitive people often have a strong intuition or "gut feeling" about things. They are able to sense when something is not quite right or when a situation feels off. This intuition can be a valuable tool for making decisions and navigating the world. Highly Sensitive People Have Deep RelationshipsBecause of their capacity for empathy and compassion, highly sensitive people often have deep, meaningful relationships. They are able to connect with others on a deep level, and are often valued for their ability to listen and offer support. These relationships can provide a sense of belonging and fulfillment. Highly Sensitive People Experience More Awe & WonderAs big-feeling individuals, highly sensitive people might suffer more - but they also experience more awe and wonder. The world to an HSP can become a magical place of connection and glee. While being a highly sensitive person can come with its own unique challenges, it is important to recognize the gifts that come with this trait. By embracing these gifts and learning how to manage the challenges, highly sensitive people can live rich, fulfilling lives and make a positive impact on the world.  The 10 Stages of Personal Growth & DevelopmentPersonal growth is anything that positively transforms your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being and brings you closer to who you truly are. Personal growth isn't just about learning - it involves applying the knowledge and skills that you learn so that they become a part of who you are. A person's personal growth is a journey, and it is not always a linear one. When clients come to me, I assess where they are on their journey, whether they are at a particular stage for the first time, and what tools they need to move forward. There is no right or wrong, or good or bad to any of these stages. Certainly, some of them are more comfortable and enjoyable, but each stage holds value and purpose. These stages can be a description of where you are at overall in life, or a depiction of one particular area in your life. Sometimes, during our lives, we transform completely from head to toe, and other times, we may transform only a single area of our lives or a single role we play. Either way, the process is the same.
Stage 4 - Acceptance This is the stage where we come home to the truth that it's all an inside job. If we want something different in our lives, then we have to be different. We have to show up differently in every damn minute of our lives. In every situation, every action, and every conversation. We accept the truth that this will require us to change our thoughts and challenge our belief systems. We realize that we must let go of who we thought we'd be in order to become the person we are. This stage is often accompanied by feelings of grief, sorrow, awe and wonder. This stage is rich with epiphanies (my favorite part). Stage 5 - Clean-Up This is the stage where you have to clean up all of the messes you made up to this point in your life. This could mean repairing relationships, having difficult and often uncomfortable conversations, leaving a situation that isn't working for you, paying off debts, making amends, and taking accountability (yup 100%) for every fucking situation of your life. In my opinion, this is the most difficult stage of the journey because due to lags in seeing results, you are still experiencing the results of your old life even though you are making new choices. I've seen this stage last a few weeks to several years. It all depends on how deep your clean-up needs to be. This stage requires you to fiercely belief in yourself. It is also extremely valuable if you find another person (coach, partner, friend) who agrees to fiercely believe in you regardless of your outcomes. This stage can often be a moment-to-moment focus as you dig in and begin to reconstruct your life. Stage 5 is often accompanied by feelings of frustration, shame, relief and levity. Stage 6 - Self Discovery This stage of the journey is when you discover yourself (for the first time, or the 50th time). During our lives, we are constantly evolving and we have the opportunity to deepen into who we really are over and over again. This is one of the most beautiful truths of being human. Stage 6 is my favorite stage!!! This stage is so much fun! This is where you go on an inner investigation of yourself and your life. You discover who you really are, and what you really need to be satisfied when it all ends. When you are on your deathbed, will you feel complete, fulfilled and ready to transition? As Seth Abbot so beautifully says, "When my body won't hold me anymore, and it finally lets me free.. will I be ready?" This stage is often accompanied by feelings of belonging, peace, deep joy, acceptance, and inspiration. Stage 7 - New Habits & Routines During stage seven, you design habits and routines that are perfect for you. Not what someone else told you that you "should" do, but this is the opportunity to really experiment and discover what activities make you feel most like, you. What combination of things allows the authentic, courageous you to flow through the haze of this human body and human life bullshit? Those are the things that you need to be doing. For me, it includes things like massive amounts of time alone, working out, nature, writing, deep conversations investigating the truth with other people in my tribe, great sex, tons of one-on-one emotional intimacy with the other humans in my life. These things bring out the most me in my life. New habits and routines are going to form the "launching pad" for the change that you're calling into your life. This stage is often accompanied by feelings of progress, hope, vision, and the feeling of being alive. Stage 8 - Fortitude and Tenacity Now that you know what you need, you must call upon your inner fortitude and tenacity because change is fucking hard! It's so god-damn hard, and it takes a 100% commitment to yourself to achieve the things you want to achieve and become the person that you want to become. It takes fortitude, tenacity, courage, discipline, experimentation, curiosity, and believing in yourself. This is the stage where you are, literally, pulling your future self into existence. So, yeah, it is going to take some grit. This grit already exists inside you, even if you never activated it before. Every human has it naturally built in, it only needs to be activated. This stage is often accompanied by feelings of power, vigor and definitiveness. Stage 9 - Courageous Action Now that you are clear on who you are now (at this stage in your life), it is time to go out into the world and take courageous action to create the life you want. In stage 8, you pulled your future self into existence. Now it's time to pull your future life (the life that you've been dreaming about) into existence. This sage requires support, brainstorming, balance, connection to self, intention, and presence. Stage 10 - Resilience Stage 10 is where you build your resilience. This requires a series of failures and successes, each time retaining clarity, focus and passion for where you are going and the person that you are becoming. This is the stage where you go out into the world, and you get knocked the fuck down, and then you get up with dirt on your hands and your needs, and you square your shoulders and you go back out into the world again to accomplish your vision. This stage requires accurate self-assessment, the ability to pivot quickly, self-trust, and deep connection to your inner self, When we choose to lead bold, authentic lives not only do we find more joy and purpose, but we have a larger positive impact on the world. It is our purpose to live with purpose. Each of us has a unique, innate thing that drives us and makes us who we are. This is the space that we, as humans, need to cultivate to lead us in our lives. When we commit to living our lives authentically, they become an adventure, a game, filled with strategy and investigation - and it is so much fun. The data is clear that speaking with an unbiased professional who is trained to ask deep questions to unlock your inner wisdom has the power to transform your life. We all need support on this human journey. It would be a f*cking honor to support you in your journey. Seriously, let’s chat about this more. Together, during your free, no-obligation coaching session with can uncover where you are at in your journey, and what skills and tools you need to get to the next stage. In an introductory session, my goal is for both of us to decide if we are the right fit for working together, and if by building a strong coach-client relationship we can bring forward the truest, most beautiful, YOU.  The 10 Stages of Personal Growth & DevelopmentListen to me talk more about this topic, here: Personal growth is anything that positively transforms your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being and brings you closer to who you truly are. Personal growth isn't just about learning - it involves applying the knowledge and skills that you learn so that they become a part of who you are. For a downloadable PDF of the chart below, click here. The Personal Growth Timeline  Debunking 5 Myths About Living Your Best LifeWe all have certain beliefs that we hold as true, despite evidence to the contrary. Whether it’s a superstition that we’ve held since childhood or a myth that we believe in, these beliefs can often hold us back from living our best lives. In this blog post, we will explore five common myths that people believe in and how debunking these myths can inspire us to lead our best lives. By the end of this article, you will have a new perspective on these myths and hopefully, feel empowered to take charge of your life. Myth #1 About Living Your Best Life: You Need to Follow the Crowd to SucceedMany of us believe that success is directly correlated with popularity. We often think that we need to fit in with the crowd to be successful. However, the truth is that standing out and being different is often what leads to success. By embracing your individuality and pursuing your passions, you may discover a niche that sets you apart from the crowd. Remember, the most successful people are often the ones who go against the norm. Myth #2 About Living Your Best Life: Happiness Comes from External FactorsMany of us believe that happiness comes from external factors such as money, possessions, or a significant other. However, research has shown that happiness is much more complex than that. True happiness comes from within, and it’s often the result of personal growth, deep connections with others, and a sense of purpose. By focusing on these internal factors, we can achieve a more profound and fulfilling sense of happiness. Myth #3 About Living Your Best Life: Fear is LimitingMany of us believe that fear is a limiting factor in our lives. We often think that we need to overcome our fears to succeed. However, fear can be a powerful motivator. It can inspire us to take action and make changes in our lives. By embracing our fears and using them to fuel us, we can achieve incredible things. Myth #4 About Living Your Best Life: Failure is the EndMany of us fear failure and think that it’s the end of the road. However, failure is an essential part of growth and learning. It allows us to learn from our mistakes and improve ourselves. By embracing failure as an opportunity for growth, we can achieve great things. Myth #5 About Living Your Best Life: Success is a DestinationMany of us believe that success is a destination that we need to reach. However, success is an ongoing journey, not a destination. It’s a daily effort to achieve our goals and aspirations. By embracing this idea of success, we can enjoy the journey and appreciate the growth that comes with it.
By debunking cultural myths, we can gain a new perspective and feel empowered to take charge of our lives. Remember, success is not a destination, fear can be a motivator, and failure is an opportunity for growth. By embracing new perspectives, we can achieve incredible things and lead our best lives.  You Are Stronger Than You KnowLife can be challenging, and it's easy to feel overwhelmed and discouraged at times. However, it's important to remember that you are stronger than you know. No matter what challenges you may face, you have the inner strength and resilience to overcome them. Here are a few reasons why you are stronger than you know: You've Overcome Challenges Before Think back to a time when you faced a difficult challenge and overcame it. Maybe it was a health crisis, a difficult relationship, or a professional setback. Whatever it was, you made it through. Reminding yourself of your past successes can give you the confidence to face new challenges with greater resilience and determination. You Have Support No one has to face challenges alone. Whether it's friends, family, or a supportive community, you have people in your life who care about you and want to help you succeed. Don't be afraid to reach out for support when you need it. By leaning on others, you can draw on their strength and guidance to help you overcome whatever challenges you may face. You Can Learn and Grow Challenges can be opportunities for learning and growth. By facing difficult situations, you can develop new skills, gain greater insight into your strengths and weaknesses, and become more resilient. Even if you don't succeed at first, each challenge can be a chance to learn and improve, making you stronger and more capable in the long run. You Have Inner Strength Strength comes in many forms, and you have a wellspring of inner strength that you may not even be aware of. Whether it's a strong sense of purpose, an unshakable faith, or a deep well of determination, you have the inner resources to face whatever challenges come your way. By tapping into your inner strength, you can overcome even the most difficult obstacles and emerge stronger and more resilient than ever before.
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September 2024
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