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Canid Commentary & Useful Hacks on Being Human

Make More Money With a Higher EQ

9/30/2022

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Make More Money With a Higher EQ
Emotional Intelligence, otherwise known as EQ, is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. According to Harvard Business School research, EQ is twice as important as IQ and technical skills combined in determining the success of a person in their career and life.
In recent decades, researchers have identified emotional intelligence (EQ) as the defining characteristic of high-performing individuals. According to a 40-year study of PhDs at UC Berkeley, EQ was 400% more powerful than IQ when it came to predicting success in the workplace. ​
By developing emotional intelligence, you can increase your income by $29,000 a year, according to a recent study by Dr. Travis Bradberry.   In fact, EQ and earnings are so closely related that each point increase in EQ can increase your salary by $1,300. Additionally, there has yet to be a field in which performance and pay aren't strongly correlated with EQ.
EQ and Salary Mindy Aisling
The term emotional intelligence was created by two researchers, Peter Salavoy and John Mayer in their article “Emotional Intelligence” in 1990. It was later popularized by Dan Goleman in his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence.
So, what is Emotional Intelligence all about?  Science has proven that emotions precede thought and therefore can change how our brain processes information.  Strong emotions can impair our cognitive capabilities, decision-making capacity, and even our interpersonal abilities.  Consequently, understanding and managing our emotions, and the emotions of others, helps us achieve greater success both personally and professionally.

​EQ has 5 main components; Self Awareness, Self Regulation, Motivation, Empathy and Social Skills.

Curious about your EQ score?  Take the test here.  ​
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How to Shed Layers to Reveal Your Authentic Self

9/28/2022

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How to Shed Layers to Reveal Your Authentic Self
I love Fall because it is the season of BURNING. Burning everything that doesn’t fit into my life anymore. Creating boundaries where I need to define my edges. Ending projects and relationships that no longer serve me, and creating space for what is to come.

Fall is the season of shedding, Winter is the season to embrace stillness & silence, nurturing seeds of new things to come, and Spring is the season of birthing new parts that want to be born into the world. ​
You are here to decide if your life, relationships and world are true and beautiful enough for you. And if they are not and you dare to admit they are not, you must decide if you have the guts, the right - perhaps even the duty - to burn to the ground that which is not true and beautiful enough and get started building what is.”  - Glennon Doyle
Your mission in life, should you choose to accept it, is to become the most YOU that YOU can be.  This means disappointing others to be true to yourself.  It means risking being the fool for love, for your dream, for the thrill of being alive.  It means sitting with your pain, without moving to hide it, fade it, or fix it.  It means trusting your inner wisdom, your mighty alchemist, to guide you through your life.  It means standing with failure, without shrinking back, knowing that you have what it takes to remain standing when all else falls away.  It means radically loving yourself in all your forms.  This is authenticity. 

Because the human life is only a journey, with no arrival, each one of us experiences a gap between where we are, and the full realization of ourselves.  This is the delight - that we can rest in the knowing that there is no arrival, only endless growing.  When we realize the truth of this, we can accept it all of it.  The shortcomings, the lack, the desire, the success, the failure, the love, the pain.  There is no chasing or resistance, because it is ALL a necessary part of the journey. ​
The burn is the metaphorical resistance between where you are and where you want to be.  Everybody can get to the burn, but that's where most stop.  When it gets hard.  When it gets challenging.  When it gets tough... most opt out.  They settle for comfort.  They settle for easy.  The settle for familiar.  And life..moves... on.
​
But for some, they lean in.  They step into the fires of their own transformation.  They forge forward into the alchemy of their potential.  They surrender into an inner & outer metamorphosis... and by going where few dare to go... they are rewarded with sacred gifts that are only reserved for the daring, the bold, and the courageous." 
​- Branden Collinsworth
Leaning into the burn, and letting go of anything and everything that doesn't serve us is frightening and freeing at the same time.  The most wonderful thing to realize about fear is that it doesn't stop you.  You can do things while being afraid.  This truth is life-changing.  Every single person desires greatness - great love, great health, great life, but few people are willing to do the work that is required to walk that path.  You are not defined by your talent, your skill, your education, the roles you play in your life - you are defined by how much you're willing to give of yourself.  Only you know if you're playing full-out, or playing safe.  

The path to authenticity takes courage, faith, and burning - but through the process of walking this path you discover more and more of your power, your joy, your unique frequency.  The more authentic you become, the more you HUMM, the more you FLOW.  

When it all ends, and you're at the end of your journey, I hope you can say that you had the courage to reveal yourself to the world.  ​

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Related Blogs:
​What is Slow Living?
Open Hearted Burning
I'm Not Interested in Enlightenment 
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How To Be Human Newsletter | Sept

9/26/2022

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How To Be Human Newsletter | Sept
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Happy Monday, My Friends

It is the start of another week of life. How do you feel?

Did you know that the average person lives about 4,732 weeks? Overall, that’s not much, and yet instead of feeling inspired by the preciousness of life, sometimes the circumstancing of living, the state of the world, and even the duties of daily survival can seem overwhelming.

Let’s face it, life can be hard. When life circumstances are tough, it’s easy to feel defeated. This is where resiliency kicks in. Resiliency is vital to anyone who is seeking to live a meaningful, fulfilling life.

Resiliency is the capacity of a person to maintain their core purpose and integrity in the face of dramatically changing circumstances. It is the ability not only to overcome setbacks but also to move forward stronger than before.

The first step towards becoming more resilient is to know yourself. It is impossible to ‘bounce back’ if you don’t know where you’re bouncing back to. When you know how to lean into your authenticity and allow the simple transparency of your needs and wisdom to direct your actions, life’s circumstances launch you forward rather than hold you back. By learning how to grieve honestly and not shrink back from the pain, you are no longer held hostage by life’s challenges.

As an entrepreneur, you not only have your own personal resiliency to manage, but you also must find a way to build resiliency into your business. This also begins at the core - with your company’s mission. When you have crystal-clear clarity on what your mission is, you have a compass to navigate your business through the storms of business ownership that are guaranteed to come.

Life provides all of us with opportunities to build our resiliency, burn off whatever is weighing us down, and become more and more the truest, most beautiful, versions of ourselves. My own life has been a brilliant triumph, an artwork of resiliency. Poverty, domestic violence, a brush with death, and serious burnout, you can read My Story here.

Authenticity and resiliency are two things that I know through and through. Not only has my life provided me with real-world lessons, but I’ve also sought out knowledge and education on these subjects. I believe they are the cornerstone of our potential.

I’m proud to announce that I’ve been developing a specific process to coach my clients efficiently and effectively in leading their most authentic lives. You can read more about the 3 A’s of Authenticity here.

This week, my hope for you is that you get closer to yourself, and by getting closer to yourself, you unveil more of life’s magic.

And if you are in a place where life feels uncomfortable, suffocating, or like it’s all falling apart - know that you’re okay. Falling apart is part of the process. It’s important to the journey. Feel all the feelings, surrender to uncertainty, and lean into your authenticity.

Have a great week!

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The Invitation

9/22/2022

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The Invitation Oriah Mountain Dreamer
The Invitation Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

​I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

(One of my all-time favorite poems, by the talented Oriah Mountain Dreamer.)
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Being Human: The Counter-Intuitive Truths

9/13/2022

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Being Human: The Counter-Intuitive Truths
Being a human isn’t simple, easy, or even intuitive. We all go about it, pretending we know how to do it, and assuming that everyone else around us has it figured out. We all struggle, but we never talk about the struggle (because we don’t talk about Fight Club).
​
Here are a few of the counter-intuitive hard truths of life:
→ Doing hard things in the moment makes life easier overall.
→ The cure for the pain is in the pain.
→ There is no arrival (it is not the job, not the true love, not your age, or the amount of money you make). It’s ALL a journey until you die.

​Click here to finish reading this article on Medium
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My Favorite Rumi Quote

9/12/2022

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Rumi Quote Out Beyond the ideas
Rumi is one of my all-time favorite poets.  There is so much wisdom, depth, and BEing in his work.  I am grateful for his work almost every single day.   One of my favorite quotes is:

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field.  I will meet you there."

This is just a single quote of a much larger (and beautiful) poem called The Great Wagon.  You can read the full poem here. 

I have been using this quote as a guide post in my life for years, with great results.
I believe that the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, while necessary in the world to some extent, have primarily become constructs by which we judge self and other.  When we step outside of this framework, we access curiosity, possibility, wonder, connection, and acceptance (just to name a few!).   I often start my workshops, coaching sessions and satsangs with this quote.  Just to remind everyone that there is a different choice - that we don't have to show up in the dogmas of our childhoods, cultures or ancestors.  We can show up in the field of awareness, and that is infinitely more powerful.  
I love playing in the world.  This is a wonderful concept to begin a playful experiment with.  As much as possible bring your awareness throughout your day to every judgment of right and wrong that you have.  During the day, you might think things like;
  • That sounded stupid
  • He shouldn't have said that
  • She shouldn't wear that
  • They don't get it
  • I should be more confident
  • I should say yes
  • I know the answer (for that person/situation)
  • I know what you should do
Mindy Aisling Quote Thoughts are like jeans
If you pay attention to how these thoughts feel, you might notice that they are hard, limited, contracted, and dense.  I always say that they feel like styrofoam.  When you notice yourself thinking in right/wrong judgements, try on new thoughts.  Thoughts are like jeans, you can just try them on and see how they feel.  If they feel good, keep them.  If they feel bad, put them back on the rack.  Possible thoughts to try on in these situations are:
  • I wonder what they meant by that?
  • Why was that comment valuable? 
  • What can I appreciate about that?
  • What am I feeling or needing in this moment?
  • What might be in their heart?
  • What are they feeling or needing in this moment?
  • What would be different if I accepted this right now?
  • How can I release my resistance in this moment?
  • What can I learn right now?  from them?
When you pay attention to how these thoughts feel, you might notice that they are open, curious, expansive and light.  ​I'd suggest practicing this for a few weeks, and see what impact it has on your life.  If it has a positive impact, yahooo!, you've discovered a new way of being that improves your life.  


Free Life Coaching Consultation
Related Blogs:
5 Wellness Apps You'd Wish You'd Known About Sooner
What is Slow Living & How Do You Start?

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    Mindy Amita Aisling

    ICF Certified Life & Business Coach, Authentic Marketing Educator, Small Business Advocate, Serial  Entreprenerd, Adventurer, Epiphany Hunter, Idea Maven, Growth Catalyst.
    --
    Mindy is passionate human seeking to live fully into the human experience.  She writes about emotional intelligence, authenticity, the personal growth journey, entrepreneurship, small business success, and How To Be Human: Vital Skills for Living An Authentic Life

    ​You can sign up for her newsletter here.

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