Emotional Intelligence, otherwise known as EQ, is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. According to Harvard Business School research, EQ is twice as important as IQ and technical skills combined in determining the success of a person in their career and life.
In recent decades, researchers have identified emotional intelligence (EQ) as the defining characteristic of high-performing individuals. According to a 40-year study of PhDs at UC Berkeley, EQ was 400% more powerful than IQ when it came to predicting success in the workplace.
The term emotional intelligence was created by two researchers, Peter Salavoy and John Mayer in their article “Emotional Intelligence” in 1990. It was later popularized by Dan Goleman in his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence.
So, what is Emotional Intelligence all about? Science has proven that emotions precede thought and therefore can change how our brain processes information. Strong emotions can impair our cognitive capabilities, decision-making capacity, and even our interpersonal abilities. Consequently, understanding and managing our emotions, and the emotions of others, helps us achieve greater success both personally and professionally.
EQ has 5 main components; Self Awareness, Self Regulation, Motivation, Empathy and Social Skills.
Curious about your EQ score? Take the test here.
I love Fall because it is the season of BURNING. Burning everything that doesn’t fit into my life anymore. Creating boundaries where I need to define my edges. Ending projects and relationships that no longer serve me, and creating space for what is to come.
Fall is the season of shedding, Winter is the season to embrace stillness & silence, nurturing seeds of new things to come, and Spring is the season of birthing new parts that want to be born into the world.
You are here to decide if your life, relationships and world are true and beautiful enough for you. And if they are not and you dare to admit they are not, you must decide if you have the guts, the right - perhaps even the duty - to burn to the ground that which is not true and beautiful enough and get started building what is.” - Glennon Doyle
Your mission in life, should you choose to accept it, is to become the most YOU that YOU can be. This means disappointing others to be true to yourself. It means risking being the fool for love, for your dream, for the thrill of being alive. It means sitting with your pain, without moving to hide it, fade it, or fix it. It means trusting your inner wisdom, your mighty alchemist, to guide you through your life. It means standing with failure, without shrinking back, knowing that you have what it takes to remain standing when all else falls away. It means radically loving yourself in all your forms. This is authenticity.
Because the human life is only a journey, with no arrival, each one of us experiences a gap between where we are, and the full realization of ourselves. This is the delight - that we can rest in the knowing that there is no arrival, only endless growing. When we realize the truth of this, we can accept it all of it. The shortcomings, the lack, the desire, the success, the failure, the love, the pain. There is no chasing or resistance, because it is ALL a necessary part of the journey.
The burn is the metaphorical resistance between where you are and where you want to be. Everybody can get to the burn, but that's where most stop. When it gets hard. When it gets challenging. When it gets tough... most opt out. They settle for comfort. They settle for easy. The settle for familiar. And life..moves... on.
Leaning into the burn, and letting go of anything and everything that doesn't serve us is frightening and freeing at the same time. The most wonderful thing to realize about fear is that it doesn't stop you. You can do things while being afraid. This truth is life-changing. Every single person desires greatness - great love, great health, great life, but few people are willing to do the work that is required to walk that path. You are not defined by your talent, your skill, your education, the roles you play in your life - you are defined by how much you're willing to give of yourself. Only you know if you're playing full-out, or playing safe.
The path to authenticity takes courage, faith, and burning - but through the process of walking this path you discover more and more of your power, your joy, your unique frequency. The more authentic you become, the more you HUMM, the more you FLOW.
When it all ends, and you're at the end of your journey, I hope you can say that you had the courage to reveal yourself to the world.
Interested in shedding what is no longer serving you? Join my SHED course that takes place every September!
SHED is a live, online course offered every September as part of the Authenticity Empowerment series. This course can be taken as a stand alone, or as a part of the complete series.
This course is a transformative journey that invites participants to release emotional burdens, free themselves from attachments, and cultivate a sense of inner liberation. In a world filled with stress, expectations, and emotional baggage, this course offers a supportive environment for individuals to learn the art of letting go, enabling them to embrace a more peaceful and fulfilling existence.
Throughout this empowering course, you will embark on a profound exploration of emotional release, forgiveness, and the art of surrender. Through a combination of introspective exercises, guided meditations, and practical tools, you will gain the knowledge, skills, and resilience needed to let go of what no longer serves you and create space for new possibilities.
Need a reminder when this course comes around again? Sign up for my Newsletter.
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
(One of my all-time favorite poems, by the talented Oriah Mountain Dreamer.)
Being a human isn’t simple, easy, or even intuitive. We all go about it, pretending we know how to do it, and assuming that everyone else around us has it figured out. We all struggle, but we never talk about the struggle (because we don’t talk about Fight Club).
Here are a few of the counter-intuitive hard truths of life:
→ Doing hard things in the moment makes life easier overall.
→ The cure for the pain is in the pain.
→ There is no arrival (it is not the job, not the true love, not your age, or the amount of money you make). It’s ALL a journey until you die.
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I believe that the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, while necessary in the world to some extent, have primarily become constructs by which we judge self and other. When we step outside of this framework, we access curiosity, possibility, wonder, connection, and acceptance (just to name a few!). I often start my workshops, coaching sessions and satsangs with this quote. Just to remind everyone that there is a different choice - that we don't have to show up in the dogmas of our childhoods, cultures or ancestors. We can show up in the field of awareness, and that is infinitely more powerful.
I love playing in the world. This is a wonderful concept to begin a playful experiment with. As much as possible bring your awareness throughout your day to every judgment of right and wrong that you have. During the day, you might think things like;
If you pay attention to how these thoughts feel, you might notice that they are hard, limited, contracted, and dense. I always say that they feel like styrofoam. When you notice yourself thinking in right/wrong judgements, try on new thoughts. Thoughts are like jeans, you can just try them on and see how they feel. If they feel good, keep them. If they feel bad, put them back on the rack. Possible thoughts to try on in these situations are:
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Mindy Amita Aisling
Life Coaching for Big-Hearted Overthinkers & Entreprenerds
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Mindy Amita Aisling, is a professionally trained and board-certified leadership, authenticity, and entrepreneur coach.
Mindy exceeds all requirements set forth by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) for Master Coach certification.
Mindy is also a licensed mediator, communications coach, and conflict resolution practicer. As a mediator, she has worked both in private practice and as a court appointment mediator at her local county courthouse.
Through her innovative approach, she assists clients in examining their limiting beliefs, questioning their assumptions about how the world works, and releasing the notion that they are anything less than perfect. As a result, individuals who work with Mindy cultivate the ability to stand firm in their beliefs, live authentically and decisively, and discover an experience of life that is easy and graceful.
In 2021, Mindy founded How to Be Human and Entreprenerd. These programs have enabled her to share her wisdom and knowledge with a broader audience in service of her vision of helping others live authentic lives This, in turn, has empowered more individuals to lead their most TRUE and COURAGEOUS lives.
When she is not working, Mindy can be found playing outdoors in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, creating art, spending time with friends & family, or with her nose deep in a book.
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