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Canid Commentary & Useful Hacks on Being Human

The Chinese Farmer Parable: Maybe It’s Good, Maybe It’s Bad

5/30/2023

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The Chinese Farmer Parable
A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!”

The farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing, all I know is that yesterday I had a horse, and today I don't have a horse."

A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a herd of wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbors shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!”

The farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing, all I know is that yesterday I didn't have a horse, and today I have a herd of horses."

Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the mares and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The villagers cried, “Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!”

The farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing, all I know is that yesterday I my son had two healthy legs, and today he has one broken leg. 
​
A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all the able-bodied boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, still recovering from his injury. Friends shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!”

To which the farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing....."
Rather than telling yourself a story about something being absolutely good or absolutely bad, consider that you might not see the full picture yet. 

If you find yourself dwelling on awful possibilities (awfulizing), it may be helpful to think of the farmers’s words. “I don't know if it's a good thing, or a bad thing....”

The slogan may help snap you out of awfulizing and help you de-stress.

We don’t know where the twists and turns of life will take us until the future plays out. Sometimes, events that seem awful turn out to contain something wonderful (or at least something somewhat good).  As the great Mary Oliver wrote,

"Someone I loved once gave me
​
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift."


Have you had an experience in your past when you felt despondent about a situation and later realized that some good came out of it? You can use that experience to inspire you through your next challenge. Remember “I don't know if it's a good thing, or a bad thing....” and smile.
More on the origins of this story here: ​https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_old_man_lost_his_horse

Learn how this story relates to the 1st of the 3 Empowerment Principles!
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3 Empowerment Principals That Will Change Your Life

5/30/2023

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3 Empowerment Principals That Will Change Your Life

Empowerment Principals

Empowerment is a transformative force that allows individuals to take control of their lives, make positive choices, and achieve their goals. By embracing empowerment principles, we can unlock our full potential and create a life filled with fulfillment and success. In this article, we will explore three key empowerment principles that have the power to change your life for the better.

Empowerment Principal #1: Let go of Judgement

The first empowerment principle is letting go of the addiction to labeling things as right or wrong, good or bad. Consider this: problems and challenges are creations of a fear-based perspective on life.  When we rise above our fear - what remains is opportunity.  

Empowerment Parable: The Man With The Horse

The Chinese Farmer Parable: Maybe It’s Good, Maybe It’s Bad
A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!”

The farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing, all I know is that yesterday I had a horse, and today I don't have a horse."

A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a herd of wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbors shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!”

The farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing, all I know is that yesterday I didn't have a horse, and today I have a herd of horses."

Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the mares and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The villagers cried, “Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!”

The farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing, all I know is that yesterday I my son had two healthy legs, and today he has one broken leg. 
​
A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all the able-bodied boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, still recovering from his injury. Friends shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!”

To which the farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing....."

Rather than telling yourself a story about something being absolutely good or absolutely bad, consider that you might not see the full picture yet. ​

Empowerment Principal #2: The Answers Lie Within

The second empowerment principle is understanding that the answers lie within.  Every single one of us is greater and wiser than we appear to be.  I'd estimate that nearly 85% of all human beings spend most of their time buffeted between victim-passivity and anger-conflict.  Fear-based thinking makes us accustomed to focusing on the problems instead of the solutions.  The solutions are always there, if we don't see them, then we just haven't paid attention to them yet.  This is great news because it mans that you have all the answers that you need. 
Empowerment Principal #3: Self-Empowerment through Action
The third empowerment principle is taking ownership of your life and embracing self-empowerment through action. Recognize that you have the power to shape your reality and make choices that align with your goals and values. Each moment describes who you are and gives you the opportunity to decide if that's who you want to be.  Today's version of you is a result of everything you've experienced and chosen up to this moment.  Yet today's version of you is a work in progress, it is not yet set in stone.  The past doesn't determine your future.  You can choose to remold yourself and increasingly become more of who you truly want to be.  
​Remember, empowerment is a journey, and it requires attention and intention. By implementing these principles, you move towards unlocking your true potential, overcome obstacles with greater ease, and creating a life that is aligned with your unique authenticity.

Empowerment Coaching
Empowerment coaching is more than gaining support to get from point A to point B.  It is a transformational process where you become a more conscious leader of your life, making choices that are not based on fear, assumptions, interpretations or limiting beliefs.  In depth coaching will assist you to find aspirations and potential that you never even knew existed within yourself.  You will become someone who is not held back by circumstances and challenges that would normally throw just about anyone for a loop. 
Book A Free Session With Me

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➡️​ Check out my DIY Coaching Courses & Make This Your Season of GROWTH!
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How We Story Our Life Matters - Here's Why

5/30/2023

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How We Story Our Life Matters
The stories we tell about our lives have a profound impact on our experiences, perceptions, and overall well-being. The narratives we construct shape our identities, influence our beliefs, and impact our interactions with the world. The way we story our life matters and it profoundly impacts every area of our lives.
How Your Life is Created by Your story
Here are the important truths to remember:

1. The stories you are telling yourself are completely made-up (they are not true!).

2. The stories you are telling yourself create the quality of your life & sum of your success.
​

3. The stories you are telling yourself can be updated and transformed (again and again).
  1. Shaping Our Identity:
The stories we create about our lives contribute to the formation of our identities. The narrative we construct helps us make sense of our past experiences, define who we are in the present, and envision our future selves. By consciously choosing the stories we tell, we have the power to shape our identity and define ourselves in empowering and positive ways.
  1. Perspective and Resilience:
The way we story our life influences our perspective on challenges, setbacks, and failures. When we frame our experiences as learning opportunities or stepping stones to growth, we cultivate resilience and a positive mindset. By reframing difficulties as transformative moments, we foster a sense of empowerment, allowing us to overcome obstacles and bounce back stronger.
  1. Creating Meaning and Purpose:
Our life stories provide a framework for understanding our purpose and the meaning we attribute to our experiences. By weaving together the threads of our past, present, and future, we can identify recurring themes, values, and passions. Crafting a narrative that aligns with our values and passions gives us a sense of direction and purpose, guiding our choices and actions.
  1. Empowerment and Agency:
The stories we tell about our life can empower us by emphasizing our agency and ability to shape our own narrative. When we view ourselves as active protagonists in our stories, we recognize our capacity to make choices, take ownership of our actions, and shape our destinies. This mindset empowers us to take charge of our lives and create the future we desire.
  1. Connection and Empathy:
The stories we share about our life have the power to connect us with others on a deeper level. By sharing our experiences, vulnerabilities, and triumphs, we create opportunities for empathy and understanding. Our stories can inspire, motivate, and provide solace to others who may resonate with similar experiences, fostering connection and building a supportive community.
  1. Rewriting and Healing:
Our life stories are not set in stone. We have the ability to rewrite and reinterpret our narratives, allowing for personal growth and healing. By examining the stories we have constructed, we can challenge limiting beliefs, reframe negative experiences, and find new meaning and understanding. This process of rewriting our stories can lead to personal transformation and healing.
Want to change your stories?  Download the DIY Coaching Course: The Stories We Tell Ourselves.
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Change your life by changing your story
The stories we tell about our lives hold immense power. They shape our identity, influence our perspective, and impact our sense of purpose and connection with others. By consciously crafting empowering narratives, we can cultivate resilience, find meaning and purpose, and rewrite our stories to align with our growth and healing.

When you are ready to recognize the significance of how you story our life and embrace the transformative potential of your narratives, download the DIY Coaching Course: The Stories We Tell Ourselves, and begin the work of updated what is on your Operating System. 

Schedule a FREE first-time session with me below ​⬇
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The Three Ways To Know Something

5/29/2023

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The 3 ways to know something and why it matters

Acquiring Knowledge

Acquiring knowledge is a multifaceted process that extends beyond intellectual understanding. It involves engaging with information at intellectual, emotional, and habitual levels, each offering a distinct dimension of comprehension and integration.  Without recognition of the levels of knowing, we can block ourselves from further personal growth and development, accurate self assessment, and deeper connections. 

3 Ways To Know: In the Mind (Intellectually)

Intellectual knowledge refers to the cognitive understanding of facts, theories, concepts, or information. It involves grasping ideas, theories, and principles through reasoning, analysis, and logical thinking. Intellectual knowledge is acquired through education, reading, research, and studying, and is often rooted in objective facts and evidence. 

Example:
I know that eating fast food is unhealthy and will cause me to gain weight.
Action/Result:
I continue you eat fast food because this knowledge is just an intellectual understanding, and I don't really "know" it yet. 

3 Ways To Know: In the Heart (Emotionally)

Emotional knowledge encompasses the experiential and empathetic understanding of information. It involves connecting with knowledge on a deeply emotional level, allowing us to grasp its impact and significance. Emotional knowledge is gained through personal experiences, empathy, and emotional intelligence. It involves recognizing and appreciating the emotional nuances and implications of the knowledge, enabling us to relate to others' experiences and perspectives.

​
Example:
I have a personal experience with health or weight issues. 
Action/Result:
I struggle to stop myself from eating fast food because even though I "get" that is is bad for me, I still in the process of aligning my actions with this truth.

3 Ways To Know: In the Body (Habitually)

Habitual knowledge refers to the practical application and embodiment of knowledge through repeated action and behavior. It involves integrating knowledge into our daily lives, routines, and habits. Habitual knowledge is developed through practice, repetition, and consistent application. It transforms knowledge from a theoretical concept into a practical skill or ingrained behavior. By embodying knowledge habitually, we can effectively translate intellectual understanding into meaningful action.

Example:
I have created habits and routines to support my health and weight.
Action/Result:
I don't eat fast food because I have a deep understanding of how bad it is for my health. Because I honor the love I have for myself, my body, and my life, I am no longer even tempted to eat things that aren't good for me. 
3 Ways To Know Something
Why it Matters
Personal Growth and Transformation: Engaging with knowledge at emotional and habitual levels can drive personal growth and transformation. It allows us to reflect on our values, beliefs, and behaviors, facilitating self-awareness and providing opportunities for growth, change, and self-improvement.
Knowledge transcends mere intellectual understanding. By embracing the emotional and habitual dimensions of knowledge, we enrich our comprehension, foster empathy, and translate knowledge into action. 
Intellectual, emotional, and habitual knowledge work together synergistically to provide a more profound and transformative understanding of the world. By actively engaging with knowledge in all its dimensions, we embark on a journey of growth, empathy, and positive change.

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Choosing Your Energy Path: Positivity or Negativity?

5/29/2023

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Choosing Your Energy Path: Positivity or Negativity?

Choosing Your Energy Path

The energy we choose to live our lives from has a profound impact on our experiences, relationships, and overall well-being. We possess the power to navigate life's challenges and joys by embracing either positive or negative energy. In this article, we will explore the two streams of energy available to us and delve into the transformative effects of living a life rooted in positivity.

Understanding Positive Energy

Positive energy is a state of mind characterized by optimism, gratitude, and a hopeful outlook on life. It involves focusing on the present moment, embracing personal growth, and seeking opportunities for joy and fulfillment. Living from a place of positive energy empowers us to approach challenges as opportunities for growth, maintain healthy relationships, and radiate kindness and compassion towards others.

The Power of Positive Energy

Embracing positive energy opens the door to a myriad of benefits. It enhances mental and emotional well-being, boosts resilience in the face of adversity, and promotes a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Positive energy also attracts like-minded individuals and opportunities, fostering a supportive and uplifting environment that propels us towards our goals and aspirations.

Identifying Negative Energy

Negative energy, on the other hand, is characterized by pessimism, fear, and a sense of hopelessness. It often manifests as self-doubt, resentment, and a tendency to focus on past failures or future anxieties. Living from a place of negative energy drains our vitality, hampers personal growth, and strains relationships with ourselves and others.
Breaking Free from Negative Energy
Breaking free from negative energy requires conscious effort and self-reflection. Start by recognizing negative thought patterns and their impact on your emotions and behavior. Challenge self-limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering affirmations. Surround yourself with positive influences, engage in activities that uplift your spirit, and practice self-care to nurture a positive mindset.
Cultivating Positive Energy
Cultivating positive energy is a lifelong journey that requires daily practice. Begin by cultivating gratitude, focusing on the blessings and positive aspects of your life. Practice mindfulness to anchor yourself in the present moment and foster a deep appreciation for the beauty around you. Engage in acts of kindness and generosity, as they not only uplift others but also elevate your own spirit.
Choosing Positive Energy in Relationships
Embracing positive energy extends beyond our individual lives and into our relationships. Surround yourself with people who radiate positivity and support your growth. Cultivate empathy, active listening, and open communication to build strong, healthy connections. Be mindful of your words and actions, ensuring they reflect kindness, understanding, and respect.
The Ripple Effect of Positive Energy
Living a life rooted in positive energy has a ripple effect that extends far beyond ourselves. Our positive energy influences those around us, creating a ripple of inspiration and positivity. By embodying positivity, we have the power to uplift others, create harmonious communities, and contribute to a more compassionate and loving world.
The energy we choose to live our lives from shapes our experiences and impacts those around us. By consciously embracing positive energy, we unlock the potential for personal growth, enhanced well-being, and fulfilling relationships. Let us navigate life's journey by choosing positivity, spreading kindness, and uplifting others. Embrace the transformative power of positive energy and watch as it enriches every aspect of your life.

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Mastering Effective Communication: Transcending the Reptile Brain

5/28/2023

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Mastering Effective Communication: Transcending the Reptile Brain

Effective Communication: Transcending the Reptile Brain

Communication is the cornerstone of human interaction, enabling us to convey ideas, share emotions, and build connections. However, to truly engage in meaningful conversations, it is essential to transcend our primal instincts and avoid speaking from our reptile brain. In this article, we delve into the concept of the reptile brain, its impact on communication, and explore strategies to communicate more effectively by tapping into our higher cognitive functions.

    Effective Communication: Understanding the Reptile Brain

    The reptile brain, also known as the primitive brain or the lizard brain, refers to the oldest part of our brain, evolutionarily speaking. It controls basic survival functions, including fight-or-flight responses and instinctual behaviors. When we speak from this primal state, our communication tends to be reactive, impulsive, and driven by self-preservation rather than fostering understanding and connection.

    Recognizing the Reptile Brain's Influence

    The reptile brain's influence on communication manifests in various ways. It often leads to knee-jerk reactions, defensiveness, and an inability to truly listen and empathize with others. Speaking from this primitive state can escalate conflicts, hinder effective problem-solving, and damage relationships. Awareness of this influence is the first step toward overcoming its limitations.

    Cultivating Emotional Intelligence

    Emotional intelligence plays a pivotal role in effective communication. By developing self-awareness, empathy, and emotional regulation, we can rise above the limitations of the reptile brain. When faced with challenging conversations, take a moment to identify and understand your emotional triggers. By acknowledging and managing these emotions, you can respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.
    Active Listening and Empathy
    To foster effective communication, it is vital to engage in active listening and cultivate empathy. When we listen attentively, seeking to understand rather than simply waiting for our turn to speak, we create an environment conducive to meaningful dialogue. Practice active listening by maintaining eye contact, asking clarifying questions, and paraphrasing to ensure accurate understanding.
    Engaging the Pre-Frontal Cortex
    The pre-frontal cortex, the most evolved part of our brain, is responsible for complex cognitive processes, such as reasoning, problem-solving, and empathy. By engaging this part of the brain, we can transcend the limitations of the reptile brain and communicate more effectively. Take a pause before responding, allowing yourself time to process information, analyze perspectives, and choose your words thoughtfully.
    Mindfulness and Reflection
    Incorporating mindfulness practices into communication can help us become more aware of our thought patterns, emotions, and reactions. Mindfulness enables us to observe our reptile brain's impulses without getting swept away by them. Regular reflection on our communication experiences allows us to identify areas for improvement and refine our approach, fostering growth and enhancing our communication skills.
    Effective communication is an art that requires transcending our primal instincts and tapping into higher cognitive functions. By recognizing the influence of the reptile brain and consciously engaging our pre-frontal cortex, we can communicate with empathy, clarity, and intention. Cultivating emotional intelligence, active listening, and practicing mindfulness empower us to navigate conversations more skillfully, fostering deeper connections and achieving more positive outcomes. So, the next time you engage in a conversation, remember to rise above the reptile brain and let the power of higher-level thinking elevate your communication to new heights.

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    Communication Tip: Check Your Intention

    5/28/2023

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    Communication Tip: Check Your Intention

    Communication Tip: Check Your Intention

    The human brain is wired for connection, and all of us desire to be seen, heard, and understood as well as feel love, safety, and connection. The primary tool that we use to achieve these things is communication. However, the effectiveness of these conversations often hinges on the intentions behind them. By taking a moment to check our motives before engaging in a conversation, we can foster better connections, promote understanding, and ensure positive outcomes. 

    Communication Tip: Understanding the Influence of Intention

    Intention forms the foundation of effective communication. It shapes the way we express ourselves and influences how others perceive and respond to us. Recognizing the power of intention allows us to be more mindful of the impact our words and actions can have on others. By aligning our intentions with our words and energy, we can create more effective communication.

    Communication Tip: Reflecting on Your Motives

    Before engaging in a conversation, it is essential to take a moment to reflect on our motives.  The three questions that I always ask myself are:
    1. What do I want for me?
    2. What do I want for you?
    3. What do I want for this relationship?

    You can also ask yourself:
    • What do I hope to achieve through this conversation?
    • Am I seeking understanding, resolution, or connection?
    • Am I driven by ego, the need to prove a point, or to assert dominance?

    Honest introspection allows us to become aware of any hidden agendas or biases that might hinder meaningful dialogue.

    Communication Tip: Practicing Empathy and Respect

    Checking our intentions also involves cultivating empathy and respect for the other person's perspective. By genuinely seeking to understand their point of view and respecting their autonomy, we create a safe space for open and honest communication. Avoiding judgment and being receptive to different ideas fosters an atmosphere of mutual respect and cooperation.​
    Communication Tip: Seeking Clarity and Emotional Regulation
    Emotional intelligence plays a vital role in checking our intentions. Before engaging in a conversation, it is crucial to regulate our emotions and approach the discussion with a clear mind. Being aware of our emotional state allows us to communicate more effectively and avoid unnecessary conflict or misunderstanding. By expressing ourselves calmly and respectfully, we encourage a productive exchange of ideas.  Remember:  Don't operate from your reptile brain! ​
    Communication Tip: Considering the Impact on Others
    Every conversation has the potential to impact others in significant ways. Therefore, it is essential to consider the potential consequences of our words and actions. Are we uplifting and supporting others, or are we inadvertently causing harm or discomfort? By adopting a mindful approach, we can ensure that our conversations contribute positively to the well-being of those involved.​
    Communication Tip: Adapting and Learning
    :Reflecting on our conversations and their outcomes enables us to grow and adapt. It allows us to learn from our mistakes, refine our intentions, and improve our communication skills. Embracing a growth mindset helps us become more receptive to feedback, leading to more meaningful and fulfilling conversations in the future.


    Every conversation we engage in offers an opportunity to connect, learn, and grow. By checking our intentions before initiating a dialogue, we can steer our conversations towards positive outcomes. Cultivating empathy, practicing emotional regulation, and considering the impact on others are crucial steps towards fostering healthy and meaningful communication. So, the next time you find yourself preparing for a conversation, take a moment to reflect on your motives, and let your intentions pave the way for a more enriching and harmonious exchange of ideas.

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    Residual Income: How To Make Money on TikTok

    5/27/2023

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    Picture
    Getting out of the hustle and taking back ownership of your life is completely possible.  You're not crazy to dream about it.  Like any change - it will require creativity, experimentation, tenancy and curiosity.  It will require that you change YOU and YOUR LIFE.  The blog is part of a series on Residual Income Options - outlining ideas and action steps that you can take out in the world to create a slower, more authentic life for yourself.  

    While it is a wealth of knowledge and helpful information, it alone won't get you where you want to go.  The thoughts, beliefs, habits, and routines you have now are what led you to where you are today.  The only way to successfully make a big change in your life is to change yourself in addition to taking actions in the world.  When you invest time, energy and money into both your inner and outer worlds with intention - you can do just about anything you want. 

    If you're wondering how to get started on the inner stuff, you can follow me on social media, read more of my website, schedule a free session with me, or download my DIY Coaching Course, "The Stories We Tell Ourselves."

    How To Make Money on TikTok

    TikTok has revolutionized the social media landscape, providing an unprecedented platform for creative expression and viral content. Beyond entertainment, TikTok also offers opportunities to monetize your presence on the platform and turn your passion into profit. 

    Build a Strong Following on TikTok