 A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing, all I know is that yesterday I had a horse, and today I don't have a horse." A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a herd of wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbors shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing, all I know is that yesterday I didn't have a horse, and today I have a herd of horses." Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the mares and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The villagers cried, “Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing, all I know is that yesterday I my son had two healthy legs, and today he has one broken leg. A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all the able-bodied boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, still recovering from his injury. Friends shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!” To which the farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing....." Rather than telling yourself a story about something being absolutely good or absolutely bad, consider that you might not see the full picture yet. If you find yourself dwelling on awful possibilities (awfulizing), it may be helpful to think of the farmers’s words. “I don't know if it's a good thing, or a bad thing....” The slogan may help snap you out of awfulizing and help you de-stress. We don’t know where the twists and turns of life will take us until the future plays out. Sometimes, events that seem awful turn out to contain something wonderful (or at least something somewhat good). As the great Mary Oliver wrote, "Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." Have you had an experience in your past when you felt despondent about a situation and later realized that some good came out of it? You can use that experience to inspire you through your next challenge. Remember “I don't know if it's a good thing, or a bad thing....” and smile. More on the origins of this story here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_old_man_lost_his_horse Learn how this story relates to the 1st of the 3 Empowerment Principles!
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 Empowerment PrincipalsEmpowerment is a transformative force that allows individuals to take control of their lives, make positive choices, and achieve their goals. By embracing empowerment principles, we can unlock our full potential and create a life filled with fulfillment and success. In this article, we will explore three key empowerment principles that have the power to change your life for the better. Empowerment Principal #1: Let go of JudgementThe first empowerment principle is letting go of the addiction to labeling things as right or wrong, good or bad. Consider this: problems and challenges are creations of a fear-based perspective on life. When we rise above our fear - what remains is opportunity. Empowerment Parable: The Man With The Horse
A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing, all I know is that yesterday I had a horse, and today I don't have a horse." A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a herd of wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbors shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing, all I know is that yesterday I didn't have a horse, and today I have a herd of horses." Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the mares and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The villagers cried, “Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing, all I know is that yesterday I my son had two healthy legs, and today he has one broken leg. A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all the able-bodied boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, still recovering from his injury. Friends shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!” To which the farmer replied, “I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing....." Rather than telling yourself a story about something being absolutely good or absolutely bad, consider that you might not see the full picture yet. Empowerment Principal #2: The Answers Lie WithinThe second empowerment principle is understanding that the answers lie within. Every single one of us is greater and wiser than we appear to be. I'd estimate that nearly 85% of all human beings spend most of their time buffeted between victim-passivity and anger-conflict. Fear-based thinking makes us accustomed to focusing on the problems instead of the solutions. The solutions are always there, if we don't see them, then we just haven't paid attention to them yet. This is great news because it mans that you have all the answers that you need. Empowerment Principal #3: Self-Empowerment through ActionThe third empowerment principle is taking ownership of your life and embracing self-empowerment through action. Recognize that you have the power to shape your reality and make choices that align with your goals and values. Each moment describes who you are and gives you the opportunity to decide if that's who you want to be. Today's version of you is a result of everything you've experienced and chosen up to this moment. Yet today's version of you is a work in progress, it is not yet set in stone. The past doesn't determine your future. You can choose to remold yourself and increasingly become more of who you truly want to be. Remember, empowerment is a journey, and it requires attention and intention. By implementing these principles, you move towards unlocking your true potential, overcome obstacles with greater ease, and creating a life that is aligned with your unique authenticity. Empowerment CoachingEmpowerment coaching is more than gaining support to get from point A to point B. It is a transformational process where you become a more conscious leader of your life, making choices that are not based on fear, assumptions, interpretations or limiting beliefs. In depth coaching will assist you to find aspirations and potential that you never even knew existed within yourself. You will become someone who is not held back by circumstances and challenges that would normally throw just about anyone for a loop.  The stories we tell about our lives have a profound impact on our experiences, perceptions, and overall well-being. The narratives we construct shape our identities, influence our beliefs, and impact our interactions with the world. The way we story our life matters and it profoundly impacts every area of our lives.
The stories we tell about our lives hold immense power. They shape our identity, influence our perspective, and impact our sense of purpose and connection with others. By consciously crafting empowering narratives, we can cultivate resilience, find meaning and purpose, and rewrite our stories to align with our growth and healing. When you are ready to recognize the significance of how you story our life and embrace the transformative potential of your narratives, download the DIY Coaching Course: The Stories We Tell Ourselves, and begin the work of updated what is on your Operating System.
 Choosing Your Energy PathThe energy we choose to live our lives from has a profound impact on our experiences, relationships, and overall well-being. We possess the power to navigate life's challenges and joys by embracing either positive or negative energy. In this article, we will explore the two streams of energy available to us and delve into the transformative effects of living a life rooted in positivity. Understanding Positive EnergyPositive energy is a state of mind characterized by optimism, gratitude, and a hopeful outlook on life. It involves focusing on the present moment, embracing personal growth, and seeking opportunities for joy and fulfillment. Living from a place of positive energy empowers us to approach challenges as opportunities for growth, maintain healthy relationships, and radiate kindness and compassion towards others. The Power of Positive EnergyEmbracing positive energy opens the door to a myriad of benefits. It enhances mental and emotional well-being, boosts resilience in the face of adversity, and promotes a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Positive energy also attracts like-minded individuals and opportunities, fostering a supportive and uplifting environment that propels us towards our goals and aspirations. Identifying Negative EnergyNegative energy, on the other hand, is characterized by pessimism, fear, and a sense of hopelessness. It often manifests as self-doubt, resentment, and a tendency to focus on past failures or future anxieties. Living from a place of negative energy drains our vitality, hampers personal growth, and strains relationships with ourselves and others. Breaking Free from Negative EnergyBreaking free from negative energy requires conscious effort and self-reflection. Start by recognizing negative thought patterns and their impact on your emotions and behavior. Challenge self-limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering affirmations. Surround yourself with positive influences, engage in activities that uplift your spirit, and practice self-care to nurture a positive mindset. Cultivating Positive EnergyCultivating positive energy is a lifelong journey that requires daily practice. Begin by cultivating gratitude, focusing on the blessings and positive aspects of your life. Practice mindfulness to anchor yourself in the present moment and foster a deep appreciation for the beauty around you. Engage in acts of kindness and generosity, as they not only uplift others but also elevate your own spirit. Choosing Positive Energy in RelationshipsEmbracing positive energy extends beyond our individual lives and into our relationships. Surround yourself with people who radiate positivity and support your growth. Cultivate empathy, active listening, and open communication to build strong, healthy connections. Be mindful of your words and actions, ensuring they reflect kindness, understanding, and respect. The Ripple Effect of Positive EnergyLiving a life rooted in positive energy has a ripple effect that extends far beyond ourselves. Our positive energy influences those around us, creating a ripple of inspiration and positivity. By embodying positivity, we have the power to uplift others, create harmonious communities, and contribute to a more compassionate and loving world. The energy we choose to live our lives from shapes our experiences and impacts those around us. By consciously embracing positive energy, we unlock the potential for personal growth, enhanced well-being, and fulfilling relationships. Let us navigate life's journey by choosing positivity, spreading kindness, and uplifting others. Embrace the transformative power of positive energy and watch as it enriches every aspect of your life.
The How To Be Human DIY Coaching Course: The Stories We Tell Ourselves will teach you about the "stories" you tell yourself regarding:
👉Yourself 👉The people in your life 👉Every situation you experience These stories create your: 💭Thoughts ⬇️ 😶 Feelings ⬇️ 🧠 Beliefs ⬇️ 👣 Life Experience In this course, you have the opportunity to explore how you can update your stories so that you can reach your goals & experience more of what you want in life. Start today by downloading the course HERE.  Will Your Destiny Find You?There is a common storyline where the hero is simply going about their daily tasks and adventure finds them. Bilbo was sitting in his living room with Gandalf showed up with a tribe of dwarves, Cinderella was at home doing chores when a couple of mice and a fairy godmother sent her to the ball and changed her life and Jack was at the market doing some grocery shopping when he was offered magic beans. Simple stories that contribute to this idea that we don't have to do anything to make our dreams come true - that adventure and magic will find us sitting on our couch and sweep us away.
Related Coaching Blogs on Achieving Your Goals The 10 Best Books To Improve Your CommunicationEffective communication is an essential skill that greatly impacts our personal and professional lives. Whether you're aiming to enhance your relationships, excel in your career, or simply express yourself more clearly, reading books on communication can be a valuable investment. With a plethora of options available, I've have compiled a list of the ten best books that will equip you with the tools and insights to become a better communicator. The 10 Best Books To Improve Your Communication: Crucial Conversations "Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High" by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler. This book offers practical strategies to handle difficult conversations. It provides tools to navigate emotionally charged situations, build mutual understanding, and achieve positive outcomes. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book: “As much as others may need to change, or we may want them to change, the only person we can continually inspire, prod, and shape—with any degree of success—is the person in the mirror.” “Instead of getting hooked and fighting back, break the cycle. See their aggressive behavior for what it is – a sign of violated safety – then step out of the conversation, build safety, and step back into the content.” “One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears—by listening to them.” The 10 Best Books To Improve Your Communication: How to Win Friends and Influence People "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie: Considered a classic, this book provides timeless advice on building strong relationships, making a lasting impression, and influencing others through effective communication techniques. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book: ""Success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of the other person’s viewpoint."" "Three-fourths of the people you will meet are hungering for sympathy. Give it to them and they will love you." "One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses." The 10 Best Books To Improve Your Communication: Nonviolent Communication "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life" by Marshall B. Rosenberg: Rosenberg's book emphasizes compassionate communication, promoting empathy, and resolving conflicts peacefully. It teaches readers to express themselves honestly and listen with empathy to foster understanding and connection. “All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.” “We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.” “My theory is that we get depressed because we’re not getting what we want, and we’re not getting what we want because we have never been taught to get what we want. Instead, we’ve been taught to be good little boys and girls and good mothers and fathers. If we’re going to be one of those good things, better get used to being depressed. Depression is the reward we get for being “good.” The 10 Best Books To Improve Your Communication: Influence "Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion" by Robert Cialdini: Understanding the psychology behind persuasion is crucial for effective communication. Cialdini explores six principles of influence and offers valuable insights into how to ethically influence others' decisions. Here are some of my favorite quotes from this book: “In general, when we are unsure of ourselves, when the situation is unclear or ambiguous, when uncertainty reigns, we are most likely to look to and accept the actions of others as correct.” “Our best evidence of what people truly feel and believe comes less from their words than from their deeds.” “We will use the actions of others to decide on proper behavior for ourselves, especially when we view those others as similar to ourselves.” The 10 Best Books To Improve Your Communication: Difficult Conversations "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen: This book tackles the art of handling tough conversations with grace and effectiveness. It provides practical frameworks to address sensitive topics, manage emotions, and foster constructive dialogue. Here are some of my favorite quotes from this book: Remind yourself that if you think you already understand how someone feels or what they are trying to say, it is a delusion. Remember a time when you were sure you were right and then discovered one little fact that changed everything. There is always more to learn.” “People almost never change without first feeling understood.” “Learning that you can’t control the other person’s reaction, and that it can be destructive to try, can be incredibly liberating. It not only gives the other person the space to react however they need to, but also takes a huge amount of pressure off you. You will learn things about yourself based on their reaction, but if you are prepared to learn, you’ll feel free from the desperate need for their reaction to go one certain way.” The 10 Best Books To Improve Your Communication: Made to Stick "Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die" by Chip Heath and Dan Heath: Clear and memorable communication is a skill that can be honed. The Heath brothers reveal the principles behind sticky ideas and offer strategies to craft compelling messages that resonate with others. Here are some of my favorite quotes from this book: “To make our communications more effective, we need to shift our thinking from "What information do I need to convey?" to "What questions do I want my audience to ask?” “The Curse of Knowledge: when we are given knowledge, it is impossible to imagine what it's like to LACK that knowledge.” “Don't think outside the box. Go box shopping. Keep trying on one after another until you find the one that catalyzes your thinking. A good box is like a lane marker on the highway. It's a constraint that liberates.” The 10 Best Books To Improve Your Communication: The Charisma Myth "The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism" by Olivia Fox Cabane: Charisma plays a significant role in effective communication. Cabane shares practical techniques to develop charisma, improve self-confidence, and establish a compelling presence. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from this book: “One of the main reasons we’re so affected by our negative thoughts is that we think our mind has an accurate grasp on reality, and that its conclusions are generally valid. This, however, is a fallacy. Our mind’s view of reality can be, and often is, completely distorted.” “Whatever your mind believes, your body will manifest.” “The key questions are: Which mental state would be most useful in this situation? And which version of reality would help you get there?” The 10 Best Books To Improve Your Communication: Just Listen "Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone" by Mark Goulston: Active listening is a powerful tool in communication. Goulston provides practical tips to enhance listening skills, build rapport, and foster deeper connections with others. “So when you encounter problem people, realize that there’s a reason they’re behaving the way they do. It may be a new problem: a health scare, money problems, or job pressures. It may be a long-term problem: anxiety about not being good enough for a job, anger at not being respected, fear that you don’t find them attractive or intelligent. And, yes: It may be that they’re actually just jerks (but they’re usually not). Open your own mind and look for the reasons behind the behavior, and you’ll take the first step toward breaking down barriers and communicating with an “impossible” person.” people work hard and do their best, and they want the world to acknowledge that they’re intelligent, valuable, and creative.” “Making someone “feel felt” simply means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. When you succeed, you can change the dynamics of a relationship in a heartbeat. At that instant, instead of trying to get the better of each other, you “get” each other and that breakthrough can lead to cooperation, collaboration, and effective communication.” The 10 Best Books To Improve Your Communication:Talk Like TED "Talk Like TED: The 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of the World's Top Minds" by Carmine Gallo: Whether you're giving a presentation or simply conversing with others, public speaking skills are invaluable. Gallo distills the techniques used by top TED speakers and offers insights into delivering impactful messages. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from this book: “Science shows that passion is contagious, literally. You cannot inspire others unless you are inspired yourself. You stand a much greater chance of persuading and inspiring your listeners if you express an enthusiastic, passionate, and meaningful connection to your topic.” “It’s been said that success doesn’t lead to happiness; happiness creates success.” “It’s just about being you and being cool with that. And I think when you’re authentic, you end up following your heart, and you put yourself in places and situations and conversations that you love and that you enjoy. You meet people that you like talking to. You go places you’ve dreamt about. And you and up following your heart and feeling very fulfilled.” The 10 Best Books To Improve Your Communication: The Art of Communicating "The Art of Communicating" by Thich Nhat Hanh: This book emphasizes the importance of mindful communication. Hanh provides guidance on cultivating deep listening, speaking from the heart, and fostering understanding in all relationships. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from this book: “Nothing can survive without food. Everything we consume acts either to heal us or to poison us. We tend to think of nourishment only as what we take in through our mouths, but what we consume with our eyes, our ears, our noses, our tongues, and our bodies is also food. The conversations going on around us, and those we participate in, are also food. Are we consuming and creating the kind of food that is healthy for us and helps us grow? When we say something that nourishes us and uplifts the people around us, we are feeding love and compassion. When we speak and act in a way that causes tension and anger, we are nourishing violence and suffering.” “Once you can communicate with yourself, you'll be able to communicate outwardly with more clarity. The way in is the way out.” “Compassion is born from understanding suffering. We all should learn to embrace our own suffering, to listen to it deeply, and to have a deep look into its nature.” Improving communication skills can have a profound impact on every aspect of our lives. The ten books listed above offer valuable strategies, techniques, and insights to enhance your communication prowess. Whether you're seeking to navigate difficult conversations, build strong relationships, or deliver impactful speeches, these books will equip you with the knowledge and tools to become a more effective communicator. Remember, effective communication is a lifelong journey, and reading these books is an excellent step towards continuous growth and improvement.
 One is not in bondage to the past, which has shaped our feelings, to race, inheritance, background. All this can be altered if we have the courage to examine how it formed us. We can alter the chemistry provided we have the courage to dissect the elements." - Anais Nin. Learning From Your PastOur past experiences shape who we are and how we perceive the world around us. While some experiences may be positive and contribute to personal growth, others may be painful and challenging. Regardless of whether our past experiences were positive or negative, there is always something to learn from them. By reflecting on our past, we can gain valuable insights that can help us navigate the present and build a better future. Identify Patterns One of the most important things we can learn from our past is to identify patterns. By looking at past experiences and identifying common themes, we can gain insights into our behavior and the situations that trigger certain responses. This knowledge can help us make more informed decisions and avoid repeating negative patterns in the future. Identify "Stories" and Belief Systems As we dissect our past, it is valuable to look deeper and discover what core stories and belief systems contributed to certain decisions and responses in our path. We can then decide if we need to update any of those belief systems in order to achieve our current goals. Practice Forgiveness Many people carry emotional baggage from past experiences that can hold them back from moving forward. Forgiveness is a powerful tool that can help us release negative emotions and move on from past hurts. By practicing forgiveness (including self-forgiveness), we can free ourselves from the burden of the past and focus on building a positive future. Celebrate Achievements It's important to acknowledge and celebrate our achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Reflecting on past successes can help build confidence and motivation, reminding us of our ability to overcome challenges and achieve our goals. Learn From Mistakes Making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process. Rather than dwelling on past mistakes, we can use them as opportunities for growth and learning. By analyzing what went wrong and how we can avoid similar mistakes in the future, we can build resilience and develop new skills. Embrace Change Change is an inevitable part of life, and the past can offer valuable insights into how we've adapted to change in the past. By looking at how we've navigated past transitions and challenges, we can develop new strategies for dealing with change and build greater resilience. Reflecting on our past experiences can be a powerful tool for personal growth and development, and it is key to changing our future.  What is the Law of Attraction?The Law of Attraction has gained significant popularity in recent years, thanks in part to books like "The Secret" and the increasing focus on personal development and manifestation. But what exactly is the Law of Attraction? Is it a mystical force or a mere self-help technique? At its core, the Law of Attraction is the belief that like attracts like, and that thoughts and intentions have the power to create our reality. In other words, the energy we emit through our thoughts, emotions, and actions will attract similar energy back to us. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we are constantly manifesting our desires and experiences through the Law of Attraction. Origins of the Law of AttractionThe origins of the Law of Attraction can be traced back to ancient philosophies and spiritual teachings, such as those found in Hermeticism and New Thought. However, it gained mainstream attention in the early 20th century when authors like Napoleon Hill and Wallace D. Wattles discussed the power of positive thinking and the ability to attract success and abundance. The fundamental principle of the Law of Attraction is the idea that our thoughts and beliefs shape our reality. If we focus our attention on positive thoughts, visualizations, and affirmations, we can attract positive outcomes and experiences into our lives. Conversely, if we harbor negative thoughts and beliefs, we may unwittingly attract negative experiences. The Law of Attraction operates on the basis of the belief that the universe is made up of energy and vibrations. Everything in existence, including our thoughts and emotions, emits a specific vibrational frequency. By aligning our thoughts and emotions with the desired outcome, we can raise our vibration and attract similar frequencies from the universe. The process of using the Law of Attraction involves several key steps. First, one must clearly define their desires and set specific intentions. This could involve creating a vision board, writing affirmations, or practicing guided visualizations. The key is to be as specific and detailed as possible, allowing the mind to focus on the desired outcome. Next, it is important to cultivate a positive mindset and belief system. Negative thoughts and self-doubt can hinder the manifestation process, so it is crucial to replace them with positive and empowering beliefs. Affirmations and positive self-talk can be powerful tools in reshaping one's mindset. Another important aspect of the Law of Attraction is taking inspired action. It is not enough to simply wish for something to happen; one must actively work towards their goals. The universe responds to our intentions, but it also expects us to take steps in the direction of our desires. By staying open to opportunities and acting upon them, we can accelerate the manifestation process. Critics of the Law of AttractionCritics of the Law of Attraction argue that it oversimplifies the complexities of life and may lead to a "blaming the victim" mentality. They suggest that external factors beyond our control, such as socio-economic conditions or systemic injustices, play a significant role in shaping our reality.
While it is true that the Law of Attraction does not discount the influence of external circumstances, it emphasizes personal responsibility and the power of mindset. Advocates of the Law of Attraction argue that by shifting our thoughts and beliefs, we can change our perception of reality and open ourselves up to new possibilities and opportunities. In short, the Law of Attraction is a belief system centered around the idea that our thoughts and intentions shape our reality. By focusing on positive thoughts, cultivating a positive mindset, and taking inspired action, we can attract desired outcomes into our lives. While it may not have a scientific basis, many individuals attest to the transformative power of the Law of Attraction in their personal lives. Whether one chooses to embrace it fully or approach it with skepticism, exploring the principles of the Law of Attraction can offer valuable insights into the power of the human mind and its potential for creating a fulfilling and abundant life.  Healthy Conflict ResolutionConflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, be it personal or professional. However, how we handle conflict determines the overall health and longevity of our connections. Fighting fair is a crucial skill that allows us to navigate conflicts with respect, empathy, and a commitment to finding mutually beneficial resolutions. In this article, we will explore strategies for fighting fair and fostering healthy conflict resolution. Additionally, I recommend having a conversation with anyone that you're in a close relationship with about how you are going to fight, what rules you are going to follow, and boundaries you are going to respect. While the suggestions below are good ideas for all relationships, the truth is that when you form a close relationship with another human, both you and the other person are nuanced and unique, and the relationship itself is nuanced and unique due to the circumstances surrounding it. Therefore, customizing the way you communication (including resolving conflicts) in each relationship is beneficial. Healthy Conflict Resolution Tip: Check IntentionThe human brain is wired for connection, and all of us desire to be seen, heard, and understood as well as feel love, safety, and connection. The primary tool that we use to achieve these things is communication. However, the effectiveness of these conversations often hinges on the intentions behind them. Before engaging in a conversation, it is essential to take a moment to reflect on our motives. The three questions that I always ask myself are:
Choose the Right Time and Place |
