We all know that feeling. It's the end of December, and we're reflecting on the year that was. We start thinking about all the things we didn't accomplish and how we want to change that in the coming year. And so, we make a resolutions list for the upcoming year. But then January comes, and we find ourselves struggling to keep our resolutions. Why does this happen?
The problem is that we often set resolutions that are too vague or too ambitious, and then we don't have a plan for how to achieve them. So, this year, let's change that! Here are some tips to help you prepare yourself to achieve your new year's resolutions. Feel The Vibe The number one thing that you can do to prepare yourself to slay your New Year's resolutions this year is to develop a wild, heart-pounding, burning YES! to pull you forward towards what you want. Let's face it - change is hard. It requires the FOUR D's: The Dream, The Discipline, The Discomfort, and The Dedication. Research shows that the people that are successful in achieving their goals are the people who are deeply connected to their dream. So, the first thing to do is connect with the story of your dream and feel the vibe of what you are creating for your future. Pick One Thing One of the biggest mistakes people make when it comes to New Year's resolutions is trying to take on too much at once. So, this year, pick one resolution and stick with it. Trying to lose weight, quit smoking, and start exercising all at the same time is likely to be overwhelming and will increase your chances of relapse. But if you focus on just one thing, you're more likely to be successful. Your dream life can be created by developing the ability to direct your full focus on one small area at a time. Get Smaller Your New Year's resolution should be something that you can realistically achieve. If your goal is too lofty, you're setting yourself up for failure. For example, if your goal is to lose 100 pounds, that may be unrealistic and could lead to unhealthy methods of weight loss such as crash dieting or over-exercising. Instead, try setting a smaller goal such as losing 10 pounds or slowly increasing your activity level throughout the year. It is better to say that you are going to walk around the block 1x per day and actually do it - then to say that you're going to work out for 2 hours 3x per week and never get around to it. Additionally, remember that self-trust is like a bank account, and you want to make sure that you're making more deposits than withdrawals. Be Aware Once you've set your goal and figured out how you're going to achieve it, it's time to create a plan. This plan should include specific milestones and deadlines so that you can track your progress and adjust the course if necessary. Without a plan, it's easy to get off track or become discouraged when you don't see results immediately. But with a plan in place, you can stay motivated and on track even when the going gets tough. Celebrate One of the key pieces to goal achievement that people often gloss over is celebration, but celebrating your success is key to keeping motivation. You see, when you celebrate yourself, your brain is flooding with the good hormones - the ones that make you feel invigorated, confident and motivated. So, when you set small goals, and celebrate yourself for achieving them, you hack your brain's natural chemicals and set yourself up for success. Making New Year's resolutions is a great way to reflect on the past year and set yourself up for success in the coming one. All too often, our well-intentioned resolutions fall by the wayside because we don't take the time to set ourselves up for success. This year, avoid these common pitfalls by feeling the vibe, picking one resolution, setting achievable goals, creating a plan for how you're going to achieve them, and celebrating yourself along the way. With these steps in place, you'll be well on your way to making this your best year yet!
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What do stories and goals have in common? At first glance, not much. But if you think about it, both are nothing more than a series of events that lead to a specific outcome. The key difference is that stories are much more engaging than goals, which is why turning your goals into stories can be such an effective motivator. Think about it this way: when you're reading a book or watching a movie, you're fully invested in the characters and their journey. You want them to succeed, and you feel invested in their story. You can see how the entire arc of their story fits together, and how even hardship is leading them in the ultimate direction of their goal. The same can be true of your own goals. When you frame them as a story, you're more likely to see them through to the end. Let's say your goal is to lose 20 pounds by the end of the year. That's all well and good, but it's not very inspiring. However, you can give your goal some narrative heft by saying "I want to lose 20 pounds so that I can become the healthier, more confident version of myself that I know is inside of me. Losing the weight is just one part of transforming into this future self that I am becoming. As I step more and more into being this future version of myself, I will get closer and closer to my goals, eventually becoming _____________ (whatever your ultimate goal is)" When framed as a story, suddenly you have much more motivation to see it through. The same goes for professional goals. Let's say your goal is to get a promotion at work. Again, that's admirable, but not particularly exciting. But if you turn it into a story by saying "I want to get promoted so that I can provide a better life for my family. With this promotion, I will begin to build a legacy of wealth for my family that will allow my children and grandchildren to have the means to truly pursue their authentic gifts. My family and I will have the opportunity to spend quality, meaningful time with each other. Every Christmas, I will be able to afford to fly everyone in the family to spend the holiday together." then you have something much more worth fighting for. Both of these are simple examples, but there are a collection of stories inside you that are deep, rich, and uniquely yours. The more depth you give your stories, the easier it will be to achieve those goals. Daydream until your stories are in technicolor. Develop your stories to the point that you know what they taste like, smell like, and sound like. The more detailed your stories are, the more powerfully they will motivate you to achieve your goals.
Framing your goals as stories doesn't just make them more motivating—it also makes them easier to achieve. When you have a clear narrative arc, breaking down your goal into smaller, manageable steps becomes easier. Take our earlier example of wanting to lose 20 pounds. Once you've decided that your goal is to lose weight so that you can feel better about yourself and be healthier, the next step is outlining how you're going to achieve that goal. Do you need to diet? Exercise? Both? And what kind of timeline are you looking at? You can build these pieces into your story's arc. You can even build in the challenge of disciplining yourself to exercise daily, and you can write you (the hero of your story) overcoming these challenges, and inspiring others around them as you do so. (It's your story - and you can write whatever is alive in your soul!) Again, this is where having a clear narrative arc comes in handy. When you know what your ultimate goal is—in this case, losing 20 pounds—it becomes much easier to map out the steps you need to take to get there. If you're looking for extra motivation to reach your goals, try turning them into stories. It'll make them more engaging and easier to achieve—and isn't that what we all want? It is safe to say that everyone wants to grow and improve in some way, whether it be personally or professionally. However, change can be difficult. Forming new habits, breaking old ones, and learning new things can be daunting tasks. But if you want to see real growth, it is essential to have the right mindset. A Fixed Mindset vs. a Growth Mindset One of the biggest obstacles to personal growth is a fixed mindset. People with a fixed mindset believe that their talents and abilities are set in stone. They have a "this is just the way I am" attitude and don't believe that they can really change or improve. On the other hand, people with a growth mindset believe that they can always grow and improve. They see their talents and abilities as fluid and are constantly working to develop them further. Which mindset do you have? If you're not sure, here are some signs that you have a fixed mindset:
On the other hand, here are some signs that you have a growth mindset:
If you have a fixed mindset, don't worry—it's never too late to develop a growth mindset! Just keep in mind that it requires a change in perspective. Here are some tips for developing a growth mindset:
Personal growth requires a change in perspective—namely, shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. A fixed mindset is characterized by an unwillingness to take risks or embrace challenges, while a growth mindset embraces challenges as opportunities for learning and development. If you want to see real personal growth, it is essential to develop a growth mindset. And luckily, it's never too late to make the switch! By practicing mindfulness, reframing your mistakes, and seeking out feedback, you can develop a growth mindset and set yourself up for success. Have you ever become so bogged down with the humdrum tediousness of life that you forget that you're here to live your dreams? Yeah, me too. Take out the trash, buy the milk, make money, plan for retirement, clean the cat box... and it goes on into nauseating repetition. It is true that life has its boring aspects, but when combined with striving to achieve your dreams, these things can take on a comforting and reassuring quality. It's strange but true. Your desires were given to you with a purpose - to discover a way to experience them in this lifetime. That's it. It's simple. The purpose of life is not to make money, contribute to capitalism, or achieve an award for being normal or good enough. The purpose of life is to achieve your dreams and be kind to others and the earth in the process. If you've been stressing about life, I give you permission to go ahead and stop. There is no need to stress that you're "doing it right", all you have to do is lean into that which you love. Tip #1 - To Get Closer To Your Dreams: Start Identifying What Brings You Joy. Start identifying what brings you joy. It can be as simple as your cup of coffee in the morning. Find every tiny thing that brings you joy and do more of them, focus on them, and be present with them. When you actively partake in activities that put you in a joyful state of being, you automatically align energetically with your dreams. Every moment you are experiencing joy, you are 'paying' for your dream to be created in your future. Energy, or feelings, are the currency that we use to purchase (create) what we want in life. To create something in this world you need to plant and nurture the seed of the thing that you want. As humans, we do that by focusing on the feeling or vibration of that thing. When you lay around dreaming of the life you'd love to live, that life holds the vibration of joy. So find ways to feel more joy in now, and in the strange and magical way of things, you'll be getting close to what you want in the future. Tip #2 - To Get Closer To Your Dreams: Connect With The YOU in the future that you're dreaming about. Begin by connecting with who you are in the future that you're dreaming about. What does your future self do? What do they think? How do they feel? What actions do they take? What choices do they make? What are their habits and beliefs? Take the time to get really clear on who this future version of you is (you can do this by daydreaming more about the future you want). After you have clarity on this future version of yourself, identify how the current you is different. Recognize the gap. After you recognize the gap - don't beat yourself up!! This is really important because beating yourself up is going to get you further away from your dreams. It's okay that you're not there yet. There is a well-used belief system in our culture that says if you hate yourself or beat yourself up, then you'll change into the person that you want to be. Nothing could be further from the truth. Love yourself in the now and recognize who you want to be in the future. Then, take action steps to behave, think, and believe more like you imagine your future self would. When you start behaving as your future self would, you will begin to pull that future vision toward you. Tip #3 - To Get Closer To Your Dreams: Decide That You Are The Boss of Your Thoughts Decide that you are the boss of your thoughts. Now is the time to draw a line in the sand and embrace the truth that you are not your thoughts. You are something much bigger and more powerful. That means that you are the one who gets to choose which thoughts are telling you the truth and which thoughts are lying to you. You will have thoughts that will try and take you away from achieving #1 & #2 (above). Each person thoughts are unique, but some of the thoughts that are your 'red flags' are thoughts that sound like this:
Begin to recognize your 'red flag' thoughts, and anytime they enter your mind, do not entertain them. Tell them that they are not the truth, reaffirm what is the truth, and move on with your day. I suggest making a list of what your red flag thoughts sound like, and then don't give them a freakin' inch. Your dreams are waiting for you, and you have what it takes to achieve them. I'm so excited for you. Prioritization is the action or process of deciding the importance or urgency of things in our life. While it sounds simple, many of us rarely utilize this tool with the wisdom and discernment necessary to make it a catalyst for creating the life of our dreams. When we allow life to choose our priorities for us, we give away our power.
Imagine your life as a rowboat out there on the waters of life. Is your boat in good condition, or does it have several leaks and a broken oar? When many of us desire to achieve our goals, pursue our dreams, or invite change into our lives, the first tool that we use is effort. We believe that more effort = better (or different) results. While this can be true, it certainly is not the truth. Returning to the boat analogy, how effective would it be if you increased your effort, rowing your boat 5x as fast as you were before, but left the leaks in the bottom or the boat? You would continue to take on water, you’d slow down, and you’d have to take more breaks to bail out the water so that you wouldn’t sink. Now, imagine fixing all the leaks in your boat, and then returning to rowing at the same level of effort as before. Finish reading this article on Medium... There is no shortage of quotes about how your thoughts impact your life and your goals. A simple google search or visit to the personal development section of your local bookstore will provide you with an abundance of wisdom on this topic. It is no longer a mystery that what we think has an impact on the amount of joy and contentment we experience, and our ability to achieve the goals we have for our lives. So why, if thinking empowering thoughts is so clearly helpful, do so few of us engage in the practice?
“We create with our consciousness. What we think about, pay attention to, focus on, and choose to believe…whatever goes on in our mind, is what becomes our reality.” ― Anthon St. Maarten After I decade of working with clients as a life coach, I’ve witnessed that people who are able to use the power of their thoughts to reach their goals do two things:
“We are what we believe we are.” ― C.S. Lewis Now, these two things are simple, but they are not easy. If they were easy, everyone would do them and you’d look around and see the majority of people living their dream lives. That is clearly not the case. So let’s talk about what the practice of doing these two things looks like so that we can break it down and begin to experiment with what it feels like to practice these two things daily. I recommend starting with one unhelpful thought that plagues you. For this example, let's start with the thought, “People don’t like me” or “I am unlikeable”, or whatever version of this thought your mind has a habit of thinking. Maybe it is something like, “I am too much”, “I take up too much space”, “I am too loud”, “I am too quiet”, “I’m not smart enough”, “I’m not educated enough”, “I’m too old”…. pick a single thought to work on transforming. And let’s begin the experiment…. Finish reading this article on Medium → Let’s be honest, good habits are hard to keep even when you are feeling your best and believing in infinite possibilities for your future. When your feelings start to go south, and that negative voice in your head creeps in, (quite annoyingly telling you that you’re a piece of shit), it is even harder to stick to good habits. However, in these moments, doubling down on your commitment pays off. Positive habits, intentional routines, and deliberate actions are the exact things that will transform your life into an experience that you feel deeply satisfied with.
You must commit to the actions that you know will lead to success in spite of any negative thoughts or feelings. Personal growth & development is hard and uncomfortable — AND, it is also exactly what you need to lean into if you want to create the life that you wish you had. While the process of growth can be challenging and requires commitments, the results are without compare. When you are waking up to a life that you feel good living every single day, the ‘cost’ of personal growth will feel like nothing. You will be happy to have paid it. Thoughts and feelings follow actions. If you want to succeed in life (whatever your unique definition of success might be) you simply cannot wait to feel ____________(motivated / good / confident / skinny / happy) before you commit to the habits, routines, and actions that are required to create the life your soul is longing for..... Continue reading this article on Medium. |
AuthorMindy Amita Aisling Archives
March 2023
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