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Canid Commentary & Useful Hacks on Being Human

What If I Don't Have An Inner Voice?

10/28/2022

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What If I Don't Have An Inner Voice?
​There is a knowing inside each of us that goes by many different names - inner voice, inner wisdom, inner sage, inner coach, higher self, inner goddess, god-self, consciousness,  alchemist, knower, intuition, and many others. Every single person is a spiritual being experiencing consciousness; therefore, every person has inner wisdom.  However, because not all of us have an inner monologue, some of us don't experience it as a "voice", but rather as a feeling or a hunch.  
​
Psychology professor Russell Hurlburt estimates that 30-50% of people have an inner monologue narrating their thoughts throughout the day.  Hurlburt outlines the 5 main ways of thinking as:
  1. Inner speaking/inner monologue - Example: talking to yourself, hearing your voice or someone else, or audibly recalling a phone number.
  2. Inner seeing/visual imagery - Thoughts with a visual symbol.  Example: picturing a memory or place you wish you lived.
  3. Feelings - A conscious experience of an emotional process.  Example: feeling sad after the death of a loved one. 
  4. Unsymbolized thinking - no word of an image associated with thoughts.  Example: pouring your morning coffee without telling yourself to.
  5. Sensory awareness - Paying attention to the sensory aspect of the environment for an unimportant reason. Example: hearing someone talk but seeing the light reflecting off their glasses. 
Feeling confused and wondering if you have an inner monologue?  Here are some signs you have an inner monologue:
  • You talk to yourself
  • You get songs stuck in your head
  • You can brainstorm various points in your head
  • You replay your favorite podcast or movie in your mind
  • You rehearse in front of imaginary audiences
  • You read to yourself
Research shows that this isn't an all-or-nothing phenomenon, some people have an inner monologue 25% of the time, and others 99% of the time.  Of the types of thinking you can use all of them in various amounts or change what types of thinking you use throughout your lifetime, periods of stress or growth, etc.  

If you're interested in more information on inner monologues, you can access some great articles here, here, here and here.  
​
Rest assured, however, that regardless of how you hear your thoughts, having an inner wisdom that you can access to guide your life is universal to everyone. 

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Related blogs:
The Science of Gratitude
​Open Hearted Burning
​
What is Slow Living?
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How To Be Human Newsletter | Oct

10/25/2022

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How To Be Human Newsletter | Oct
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Happy Tuesday

Hello, my fellow humans. I hope that this newsletter finds you well. As I was trail running at my local park and enjoying the beauty of the changing seasons (picture below), I was thinking of ways to increase my focus and productivity. For me, an assessment is required just about every month to keep myself operating at my highest level of ease, health & productivity.

The truth is that the big vast world out there is constantly pushing in on us - with thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and distractions that might not be in our highest good. It’s our job to continually re-center. Below I’ve made a few notes on things that have worked for me in my pursuit to reclaim my power, my productivity, and my well-being. I hope they can help you in your own journey of being human.

"The average attention span for the notoriously ill-focused goldfish is nine seconds, but according to a new study from Microsoft Corp., people now generally lose concentration after eight seconds, highlighting the affects of an increasingly digitalized lifestyle on the brain." - Time Magazine, May 2015

This quote is frightening, and I'm sure that you've felt the effects. Time seems to be speeding up, and every day can feel rushed and frenetic. The pressure is greater, and the productivity is less.

So, how do you begin to
reclaim your time and focus? Start here

First and foremost, you must end your slavery to your electronics. If you don't think you are addicted to your electronics - try one (or all) of these things and notice the response in your body:

  • Leave your phone plugged in outside of your bedroom when you go to bed at night

  • Make a commitment to not looking at your phone until after your morning routine (breakfast/ exercise/ meditation/ journaling- whatever you do to stay healthy and sane)

  • Leave your phone at home while you run errands, go out with friends, or go for a hike

  • Don't look at your phone while you are standing in lines or waiting for an appointment

  • Make a commitment to not look at work emails before your start time, and after your clock-out time

  • Spend one entire day electronic-free. Put your phone, laptops and tablets away and spend an entire day connecting with your loved ones and the environment around you.

Continue Reading HERE

As you know, I’m a seeker. I’m deeply fascinated by life, love, consciousness, and the experience of being human. I could talk forever about entelechy - this dynamic purpose that is encoded within us, that which realizes or makes actual what is otherwise merely potential.

In service to, and delight of, that human potential, here are some of my musings from these past weeks:

Today, I want to remind you that good things are on their way & that there is a future chapter in your life that holds more joy & fulfillment than you can imagine from where you’re currently standing.

This week, may your moments of personal growth (your entelechy) arise right from the heart of all that is human; joy and sorrow, shopping list and unity consciousness, fresh mangoes and stale bread. May you take it all in as parts of the wonder of being alive.

Mindy

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What is Slow Living & How Do You Start?

10/25/2022

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What is Slow Living & How Do You Start?
Wikipedia defines Slow Living as "a lifestyle which encourages a slower approach to aspects of everyday life."  I define Slow Living as: Intentionally behaving in a way that calms my nervous system, aligns my values with my actions, and cultivates everyday joy in my life. I define it as a rebellious revolution against hustle culture.  I define it as necessary.  I define it as survival. 
Most people I know are unwell right now.  The impacts of the global pandemic, recent political upheaval, climate change being seen around the world, and (of course) the constant speeding up of everything, every single damn day.  There is this low-grade panic that I sense in everyone I meet.  As if there is a tiny voice of fear whispering, "Move faster so that it won't catch you, stay logged in, keep checking, keep scrolling, it's all going to hell, keep running, don't stop"... and then the flip side of the amygdala response - "hide, stay inside, don't let them see you, don't let them know you, stay small, stay quiet." 
What is Slow Living
None of this feels good.  This unseen, but heavily felt, pressure is a sign of an impaired nervous system.  Unchecked, this can lead to severe illness.  It's time to take action now, and it is why I define slow living as a conscious choice to survive.  I believe that individually we need to find a way to reclaim our wellness - and collectively, as a society, if we don't do this, we'll see certain destruction.  We are living in a world that is not built to support us in our wellness, and we must actively change this by collectively doing less - our humanity depends on it.​
Dr. Jenelle Kim says that "Slow living is a conscious approach to life that involves living slower so you can appreciate each moment and prioritize what matters in life,"   This way of living is, of course, far removed from what society has normalized.  The belief that we must work hard to be rewarded has become ingrained in us.  Slow living challenges us to contemplate life (and our intrinsic value) differently and allows us to experience ourselves, and the world around us, more fully.  Slow living is choosing our wellness, and our happiness over anything (and everything) else.  
Signs of Stress, Dysregulated Nervous System & Burnout
stress, anxiety, depression
headaches
brain fog
irritability
weight gain
musculoskeletal pain
fatigue
sleep disorders
increased alcohol use
frequent illness
self-doubt
feeling helpless
memory loss
overwhelm
skin conditions
gut conditions
​high sensitivity
Benefits of Slow Living
increased happiness
increased peace
better sleep
improved digestion
regulated/stable energy
elevated mood
reduced muscle tension
lower blood pressure
increased gratitude
improved relationships
improved mental clarity
improved focus
improved creativity
increased flow state
improved rest
improved exercise
​increased authenticity
The benefits of slow living are clear, so the next question is, how do you start?  When you're deep in the hustle, running on the hamster wheel at full speed, it is challenging to see a path out.  I've been there, I get it.  Here are a few things you can do to lay the bricks of the path that will become your exit strategy. 
The first step is acknowledging that you want something different in your life and believing that it is possible for you.  You don't have to know how it's going to happen, you just need to make the decision in your heart and mind that something is going to be different, you are going to change the rules and take back your wellness and your joy.  This is a great time to talk with your partner, kids, or friends about your decision.  Building a support system to help you transition into a new chapter of your life is extremely valuable.  However, it is good to remember that the people you share your decision with might have a negative reaction - that's okay, that is just the fear playing out inside of them.  That doesn't mean it is the wrong decision on your part. Have patience, have compassion, and stay the course. 
The second step is beginning to create a little bit of breathing room for yourself.  Start with 5 minutes if that is all you can find.  Allow yourself to sit quietly for 5 minutes.  Stare at the ceiling, listen to a song, listen to a 5-minute meditation, or practice deep breathing.  I highly recommend setting a timer so that you can fully relax for the full 5 minutes that you've committed to giving yourself.  This is self-love.  This is self-care. This is the first step towards what you want. 
Another small way to begin to reclaim your time, energy, and wellness is to unplug.  When you unplug regularly and don't accept the distractions our modern tech brings, you open yourself up to increased peace, and new possibilities & experiences.  When you unplug, you can be present in the world around you.  This simple act is incredibly healing. 
Finally, embrace mindfulness as your lifeline.  Mindfulness is being fully present in your experience.  Mindfulness, when utilized in all its power, can turn cleaning the cat box into a ritual of love and purpose - but we don't have to start there.  Start with your cup of coffee or tea in the morning and make it a relaxing touchstone in your day.  Measure carefully, pour slowly, inhale the aroma before each sip.  If the rest of your day is busy, doing this one thing slowly will have a ripple effect, creating a bit more peace and stillness in your day.  
If you're interested in slow living and the art of intentionally living your life on purpose -  join me on this journey by subscribing to my newsletter here. 

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Related Blogs:
My Transition To Slow Living
The Hands-Down Best Quotes About Self Care
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The Distraction Epidemic and Tools To Increase Your Focus

10/19/2022

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"The average attention span for the notoriously ill-focused goldfish is nine seconds, but according to a new study from Microsoft Corp., people now generally lose concentration after eight seconds, highlighting the affects of an increasingly digitalized lifestyle on the brain." - Time Magazine, May 2015
This quote is frightening, and I'm sure that you've felt the effects.  Time seems to be speeding up, and every day can feel rushed and frenetic. The pressure is greater, and the productivity is less. 

So, how do you begin to reclaim your time and focus?  Start here ⬇
First and foremost, you must end your slavery to your electronics.  If you don't think you are addicted to your electronics - try one (or all) of these things and notice the response in your body:
  • Leave your phone plugged in outside of your bedroom when you go to bed at night
  • Make a commitment to not looking at your phone until after your morning routine (breakfast/ exercise/ meditation/ journaling- whatever you do to stay healthy and sane)
  • Leave your phone at home while you run errands, go out with friends, or go for a hike
  • Don't look at your phone while you are standing in lines or waiting for an appointment
  • Make a commitment to not look at work emails before your start time, and after your clock-out time
  • Spend one entire day electronic-free.  Put your phone, laptops and tablets away and spend an entire day connecting with your loved ones and the environment around you. 

How do you feel when you do these things?  Do you feel compulsion raising up in your body - like you just have to look at your phone or laptop?  Do you feel panic in your body - like something might be wrong and you have to check to make sure everything is still okay in the world?  Do you feel 'bad', like you are required to check text/emails/messages 24/7 to be a "good employee", and "good business owner", and "good friend"?  If any of these, or other feelings of resistance, obligation, or temptation, came up for you - it might be time to examine your relationship with electronics. 

With electronics, like in all areas of life, the goal is that YOU, the innate, wise, conscious you, is the leader.  Compulsion is defined as: "an irresistible urge to behave in a certain way, especially against one's conscious wishes."  Take a moment to identify the size of the gap between who you say you want to be and who you are.  This gap can frequently be identified in following areas of life: exercise, food choices, electronics, self care, emotional response and communication. Every single person has a gap - this is okay.  The realization that moves us forward is that we can make this gap smaller and therefore design a life that is more in alignment with our values and desires.  This, in turn, results in you liking yourself more. 
After you gain conscious control over your relationship with electronics, you can begin to use them, instead of them using you.  This means that when you have focused work that needs to be completed, you can turn off your email, social media, phone, etc. without discomfort.

While you can simply turn off your electronics during focused work times and off-work times, there are also a ton of tools to help you limit your distractions during work time.  Here are just a few:
  • Freedom for blocking distractions on all your devices at once
  • Cold Turkey Blocker for scheduled system-wide blocking
  • LeechBlock NG for free browser-based website blocking
  • RescueTime for time tracking with built-in website blocking
  • Forest for motivating you to put your phone down
  • SelfControl for a nuclear option
  • Focus for a combination Pomodoro timer and distraction blocker
  • PawBlock for distraction blocking with cute animal pictures
For me, here is what works:

Phone
The focus feature on my iPhone is set up to allow just a handful of people (my husband, son, sister, and dad) through on the personal setting.  In the work setting, no calls or messages are allowed through.  I use the personal setting for most of the work day and the work setting for deep focus sessions and meetings.  For instructions on how to set up the focus feature on your phone, click here.  I then schedule time to return calls in my schedule. 

Email
I close my email during meetings and deep work sessions.  Then, I schedule times to check and respond to email.  If you're not disciplined enough to keep your email closed, there are apps that can assist you.  Personally, I love Boomerang for all of its features - including Inbox Pause. 

Social
I have to use social to promote my business, so while I'm not a huge fan the impact that social media is having on our culture, I do engage with it - consciously.  First, I use Later to schedule 90% of my content.  This means that I don't have to log into all of my social platforms to post daily.  I do need to log-in for social media engagement, and that is on my schedule. 

Schedule
For me, this is key to my productivity.  Creating a solid schedule for myself is my lifeline to being productive, balanced and happy in my life.  For most days, my schedule looks something like this:
  • 4am - wakeup, breakfast, morning chores, time with husband and pets
  • 5am - workout, stretch, shower, journal, meditate, walk in the garden (not all of these happen every day, but from 5-7am is active self care most days.). No electronics until this is completed.
  • 7am - sit down in office, respond to emails, texts, phone messages, engage with social media
  • 8am - lock time for deep work, client sessions, meetings
  • 10am - check email and phone, respond to anything urgent
  • 10:15 - break.  Get outside, drink tea, eat snack, pet cats, stretch
  • 10:30 - reengage with work, lock time for deep work, client sessions or meetings
  • 12:30 - break for lunch (not in front of my computer!), eat, get outside, read a few pages of a novel, put laundry in
  • 1pm - check email and phone, respond to anything urgent
  • 1:15 - reengage with work, lock time for deep work, client sessions or meetings
  • 2:30 - check email and phone, respond to anything urgent.  Tidy up files, tabs, desk.  Take notes on day.
  • 3:30 - clock out, off work to have fun, relax and enjoy my life. 

This schedule is flexible, but I stick to it as much as possible - because it serves me to do so.  This schedule leaves me with 5 hours of solid work every day and 2.5 hours of responding to the world (email, phone, etc).  It makes sure that I take care of myself by assuring that I get breaks and lunch, and allowing me to sustain healthy work/life boundaries. 

Your schedule can be unique to you, it is simply the act of consciously controlling your time that it important.  If you're not sure where to start with creating a schedule for yourself, begin by recording what you do everyday.  You can even use an up like Rescue Time which will provide you with a report about how you spend your time on your computer.  Then, take a look at how your time is spent and make conscious decisions about what to change so that you align with who you really want to be and the life you really want to live. 

Exceptions
​I do want to note exceptions to my schedule.  I have both (high functioning) ADHD and Autism, which means that my brain works a little bit differently.  When I honor the way that my brain works, my life flourishes.  My brain loves to hyper-focus on something and work on that thing for 12 hours straight.  When I do this, I call it A-holing for ADHD/Autism hole.  I just made this term up and thought it was funny.  I swear I can get 40 hours of work done in 12 hours when I'm A-holing, and it is SO much fun.  I allow myself A-holes as much as I can when they present themselves to me & I feel like most of my genius, creativity and highest-quality work comes from these times.  After an A-hole, I always take as much of the next day off as possible and double up on the self-care to revive myself and get back on track.  If you have natural inclinations due to the unique way that your brain/body works - lean into them.  This will be far more effective than fighting them.  

Timer
I also find that I have days when I am more distractable.  Perhaps I didn't sleep well, something stressful is going on in my life, or there is a particular project I'm having a difficult time getting started. During these days it can be helpful to use a timer.  I set a timer for 15 minutes, and when that timer goes off I check to make sure I'm on my schedule.  This way if I 'rabbit hole', I'm only wasting 15 minutes (at most),  not 4 hours.  This is a great tool to reactive my consciousness, and my ability to be in conscious choice about how I spend my time.

Connect with Others
If you are a remote worker, there are a few really fun new platforms to connect with others, focus your time, hold yourself accountable, and create healthy work habits.  My favorite is Flown.  Flown provides virtual co-working sessions led by motivating facilitators - plus, meditations, breath work &. more.  Yes, its great even for introverts!  Check it out, and I'll see you in a Deep Dive session.  
The next chapter is about reclaiming your time and productivity.  Yes, it will be hard.  Yes, it will require discipline.  Yes, you can do it (and you'll be so grateful that you did).

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Related Blogs:
5 Wellness Apps You Wish You'd Known About Sooner
​The Science of Gratitude
​3 Ways To Stay Current on News Without Losing Your Mind
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5 Wellness Apps You'd Wish You'd Known About Sooner

10/18/2022

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5 Wellness Apps You'd Wish You'd Known About Sooner
While I am a huge fan of limiting the time you spend using electronics, there are some really cool ways that tech is being used to improve health and wellness.  I have tried a ton of wellness apps - for physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellness.  Here are my 5 favorites:
Insight Timer
Insight Timer is a meditation app with a large selection of audio tracks to choose from, including guided meditations, music, and talks by teachers.  It is easy to use with an excellent selection of content to choose from. Insight Timer can be used on your phone, plus they are a website/desktop version.  Here are some of my favorite meditations: 
  • Can't sleep? - Try this Deep Sleep Meditation by Kenneth Soares 
  • Rushed? - Try this One Minute Meditation by Don Reed, or this 2 min Stress & Anxiety Buster by Davidji
  • Love Affirmations?  - Try this Morning Meditation by Nathan Williams
  • ​Overwhelmed with the state of the world right now?  - Try this meditation by Alex Elle​
Breathscape
Breathscape generates music from your breath in real-time, creating an immersive experience that effortlessly guides you into deep states of relaxation and meditation. You place your phone on your stomach, and the app uses biofeedback to gently retrain your body to take deeper, slower breaths. Taking slow, deep, intentional breaths activates the parasympathetic “rest and digest” pathway in the brain and sends a signal to the body that it’s safe and ok to relax. This simple practice is clinically proven to relax and unwind the nervous system.
Yoga-Go
Yoga-Go is a great yoga app for beginners.  It provides personalized, simple home-based yoga and pilates routines to meet a variety of goals.  Do you want to lose some weigh, or improve your hip mobility? You can customize your workout.  This app also offers Face Yoga (which I love!)
My Water
Drinking water sounds simple, and yet many of us are chronically dehydrated. This app helps you remember to drink water and tracks your progress. 
Journify
Journify is an audio journal.  If you're like me, and your mind is buzzing with thoughts, ideas and pop-up wisdom all the time - then this app is for you.  It's great to use to capture your bright ideas - and also for quick processing/reflection on things that triggered you during your day.  Journaling about your feelings can reduce mental distress and is a highly encouraged practice for people dealing with anxiety.

Journify also has a mood analyzer and burnout tracker feature that monitors and breaks down your mood and mental state over time. It helps you check in on your daily sleep, energy, and motivation to know when there’s a decline or improvement in your wellbeing.

Change Your Life With Master Coach Mindy Aisling
Related Blogs:
The Hands-down Best Quotes About Self Care
Signs That You're Disconnected From Your Authentic Self
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The Hands-Down Best Quotes About Self Care

10/13/2022

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The Hands-Down Best Quotes About Self Care
Self-care isn't just about bubble baths and long walks - it is a serious and necessary practice for living an authentic life.  It is the ONLY way to cultivate a relationship with your inner wisdom, and allow that wisdom to guide you in the world.  Self-care is not always easy, some self-care tasks like having a difficult conversation can require courage and dedication.  However, the actions of self-care, overall make your life easy and more enjoyable because they allow you to stay aligned with who you really are. 

​Enjoy these great quotes about self care:
Self Care Life Coaching Mindy Aisling
Accepting Yourself Life Coach Mindy Aisling
Loving Yourself Life Coach Mindy Aisling
“Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”— Hermann Hesse
​“To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections.”— Sandra Bierig
“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It’s sanity.”— Katrina Mayer
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Life Coach Mindy Aisling
Life Coach Mindy Aisling
“If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I am not interested in or open to your feedback. There are a million cheap seats in the world today filled with people who will never be brave with their own lives, but will spend every ounce of energy they have hurling advice and judgement at those of us trying to dare greatly. Their only contributions are criticism, cynicism, and fear-mongering. If you're criticizing from a place where you're not also putting yourself on the line, I'm not interested in your feedback.”
​- Brene Brown
Self Care Quote Mindy Aisling
 “Honestly, self-care is not fluffy. It’s something we should take seriously.”— Kris Carr
Life Coach Mindy Aisling Self Care
“In today's world, self-care is an act of rebellion." -Mindy Aisling
Self Care Quote Mindy Aisling
“Self-care is how you take your power back.”— Lalah Delia
Look the world straight in the face.”— Helen Keller
​

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“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”— Jean Shinoda Bolen
Self Care Quote Mindy Aisling
“Self-care equals success. You’re going to be more successful if you take care of yourself and you’re healthy.”— Beth Behrs
Peace Quote Mindy Aisling
“Always make decisions that prioritize your inner peace.”— Izey Victoria Odiase
Self Care Quote Mindy Aisling
“This revolutionary act of treating ourselves tenderly can begin to undo the aversive messages of a lifetime.”— Tara Brach
“Self-care means giving yourself permission to pause.”— Cecilia Tran
Stephen Covey Mindy Aisling
“Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.”— Stephen Covey
Deepak Chopra Quote Mindy Aisling
“The most creative act you will ever undertake is the act of creating yourself.”— Deepak Chopra
Self Care Quote Mindy Aisling
“Self-care is your fuel ... Whatever the road ahead or the path you’ve taken, self-care is what keeps your motor running and your wheels turning.”— Melissa Steginus
Elizabeth Gilbert Quote Mindy Aisling
“I think I deserve something beautiful.”— Elizabeth Gilbert

Success Consultation with Mindy Aisling
Related Blogs:
5 Wellness Apps You'd Wish You'd Known About Sooner
What is Slow Living & How Do You Start?
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How To Be Human Newsletter | Nov

10/11/2022

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How To Be Human | Nov
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SHINE

Hello, my fellow humans. This week I’ve been thinking about living and dying. I’ve been thinking about the process of authentically shining my light in the world, and what it feels like to stay small (and both safe and suffocated). As I often do, I’ve been sitting around, drinking tea, and thinking about what the heck this is all about - being human. This exploration has been the one true love affair of my life. Since I was 14 years old, I have filled hours hunting epiphanies and drinking coffee. You could say it’s my jam, baby.

Today is the eight-year anniversary of the day an intoxicated driver crossed the center divide and ran head-on into my car. It is the anniversary of the day I sat bleeding for hours trapped in the crumpled metal of my vehicle. As I sat in reflection this week, I pondered how trauma impacts people & imagined how compassion could change our society. You can read my musings here.

This quote (above) is often misattributed to Nelson Mandela, but was actually written by Marianne Williamson in her book, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”. This is a famous quote, and it is no surprise why - because it speaks to the truth of the human experience, and truth can be felt in our hearts.

Being authentically yourself, and allowing that authentic self to shine as brightly as possible is the most courageous thing that you can do with your life. I believe that each of us has a yearning to do this - to live into our gifts as fiercely and unapologetically as possible, but the question is, exactly how do you become liberated from your own fear? How do you learn to freely allow your greatness to exercise sovereign power over your life and work?

Read more here.

This week, I want to remind you that life is short… and it might just be shorter than you think. We are not guaranteed any tomorrows.

Here’s the thing: there is this pull, this yearning inside each of us to become bigger than the smallness of our human flesh, to lead a life outside of this cage of expectations on our being. That thing, that pull in your gut - listen to it. Stop f*cking around and let it guide you to the life you were born to live.

I believe with my whole heart that what the world desperately needs right now is for people to come home to who they really are. That means you. It means me.

I know it’s hard because I am right there with you - in the arena, marred by blood, sweat, and dirt. Living authentically is hard, but we can do hard things.

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Authentic Marketing & Why It Matters

10/11/2022

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Authentic Marketing & Why It Matters
Have you ever heard marketing like this:

"Call within the next 20 minutes, because we can't do this all day."
"This products is so great, it sales itself!"
"What is it gonna take to get you to buy today?"
​"Our prices have never been lower!"

Cringe..... ugh, don't these just make the pit of your stomach hurt?  It doesn't have to be this way.  There is a way of communicating with your customer that is authentic and heart-centered.  
Many entrepreneurs that I know often struggle between doing marketing that feels good (but doesn't work) and doing marketing that works (but doesn't feel good).  

Let's begin by exploring just want marketing is.  Merriam Webster Dictionary says that marketing is: "the process or technique of promoting selling, and distributing a product of service".  Okay, that doesn't sound bad in and of itself.  Wikipedia says that marketing is: "the process of exploring, creating, and delivering value to meet the needs of a target market."  Hmmm.  That actually sounds like a good thing.

If you're an entrepreneur, you want to be of service. You're in the game to meet a need.  If that is true, you must be able to tell your clients about how you can do that.  Imagine for a moment, a scenario where there was an incredible product or service that could truly help people, but because the company had no comfort around marketing, people continued to suffer.  That would be tragic indeed. 

You have something to offer.  You've put blood, sweat and tears into bringing your product or service to the marketplace.  If you want to honor all of the effort that brought you to this point in your journey, you must market yourself.  It is your duty.  So really, marketing is about meeting a client's need and honoring yourself & your creation (your product or service).   Those are two authentically beautiful things that I can totally get behind.  
Marketing is about communication, and communication is one of my all-time favorite topics.  The root of the word "communication" in Latin is communicare, which means to share, or to make common (Weekly, 1967).  Communication is defined as the process of understanding and sharing meaning (Pearson & Nelson, 2000).  I love the way that feels... "the process of understanding and sharing meaning".   Mmmm, that feels good.  Let's explore that deeper and discover how that relates to marketing.  

Process refers to a dynamic activity, this means that in marketing is about both you and the prospective client.  Many of us perceive marketing as chasing someone down and pressuring them, or forcing them, into purchasing our product or service. When we look at it more as a give and take, a relationship, a dynamic activity - than it begins to take on a different look and feel.  

Understanding is to perceive and relate.  In marketing, this means that we are holding prospective clients as able, we are trusting them to know their needs and make their own decisions.  It means that we are sharing ourselves, our gifts, talents and our expertise.  It means that we are genuinely curious, and that we don't have an agenda for the other person. 

Sharing is the cornerstone of good marketing.  I love vocabulary.com's definition of sharing: to use it or enjoy it with others.  If you have a product or service and you approach a possible client from a heart of wanting to enjoy it with them, that is an expansive place to start.

​Meaning is what we share through communication. In marketing, it is helping the client understand why what you have to offer is important, useful, and provides purpose.  
It is possible for you to develop a positive, rich and beautiful relationship with marketing.  Marketing doesn't have to be icky or cringeworthy.  It can be an act of self-care, an act of service, it can be playful, and it can connect you with your tribe.  Marketing is just another skill and one you can master whenever you choose to. 
For more on this topic, check out the work of Tad Hargrave, founder of Marketing for Hippies, Ethical Marketing for Uncertain Times (I love the work this man is doing!) and Mark Silver, founder of Heart of Business, Inc.
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Our Deepest Fear Is Not That We Are Inadequate

10/11/2022

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
This quote is often misattributed to Nelson Mandela, but was actually written by Marianne Williamson in her book, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles".   You can read the Snopes about it here).  This is a famous quote, and it is no surprise why - because it speaks the truth of the human experience, and truth can be felt in our hearts.  

Being authentically yourself, and allowing that authentic self to shine as brightly as possible is the most courageous thing that you can do with your life.  I believe that each of us has a yearning to do this - to live into our gifts as fiercely as possible, but the question is, exactly how do you become liberated from your own fear?  How do you learn to freely allow your greatness to exercise sovereign power over your life?

I don't believe the answer is easy, my friends.  If I could write an article called "3 Steps to Liberating Yourself From Your Fear & Fully Living Your into Your Brilliance", my guess is that your gut would call bullshit.  Because as I said above, you can feel truth... and you can feel a lie, and pretending this is easy stuff just wouldn't be the truth.  It also wouldn't serve us.  It would just add another layer to this completely erroneous, all-pervasive belief that says that when you you finally ______, you will arrive.  You will finally be happy, you can finally rest, it will finally all be okay.  You will no longer question yourself, and everything you want will come with ease.  Oh, what a fantasy that is.  You might as well believe that tiny unicorns will carry away every thought of self beat-up before your consciousness perceives it.  

The truth is that this courageous way of living, continually choosing things to further liberate us from our fear and more fully shine our light, is hard.  This pursuit is a journey, and it requires you to bare your soul, again and again.  It means that you will be in the arena, marred with dust, blood and tears.  It is about showing up and being seen, and as Brene Brown says, "If you are going to show up and be seen, there is only one guarantee: you will get your ass kicked."  Yes, my friends, you will fail again and again.  You will be squeezed and you will soar.  You will live to the edges of your humanity.  
Mindy Amita Aisling
Things won't get easier, they will get harder... but somehow you'll be happier.  Thats the oxymoron here, the complete brain f*ck.  Life will call you to the table.  You will be required to put it all on the line.  You will have to have conversations that terrify you.  You will have to own parts of yourself that have spent a lifetime in darkness.  You will be required to create boundaries stronger than the walls of Mordor. You will have to learn to say no. You will have to stand up, legs shaking, and step forward.  

It's not 3 steps, its millions of steps.  It is choosing, over and over again, the path that you can't really see, the one that doesn't make logical sense and is invisible until you step out.  It's choosing the angst of confusion over the comfort of knowing.  It is sitting with the discomfort of risk over the illusion of safety. It is questioning everything, always, in the pursuit of shedding more layers (both of yourself and this world).  It is a commitment to growth.  It is not somewhere you arrive, but something you become.  It is not something you can Do, it is something you have to Be. ​


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Related Blogs:
What is Authenticity & Why Is It Important?
The Mindset Required For Personal Growth
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My Family Was Hit By An Intoxicated Driver

10/11/2022

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​This date, Oct 11th, I call the 'life anniversary' for me and my family. I will never stop celebrating it, and the fact that we are all still here.  Last night we spent the evening as many families do, our 19-year old son came over, and we watched Monday Night Football, we ate together, laughed, talked, and shared funny videos and memes on our phones.  This simple pleasure, of having a normal, everyday night, is everything.  We are all alive.

Eight years ago today my life changed. I was trapped in metal for hours before I could be airlifted to the trauma center... intubated for days in critical care... months of being in a hospital bed... then being in a wheelchair... walking with a cane.... ER visits every other month for over a year, medical complications... internal bleeding,... more surgeries, ... and (for me) still experiencing pain to this day.

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I am not the same person I was before this day, eight years ago. Residing inside me now is fierce respect for tragedy and the element of chaos that exists in the universe. This day also gave birth to a strange, and seemingly permanent, palpable connection to the web of life that connects all things. In a spiritual sense, I would say that this near-death experience brought me to my knees - where I still am today, greeting every day with humility and awe (to be alive).

Many people see me daily, and would never know that I am, to this day, physically, mentally, and emotionally, impacted by this trauma. I am immensely grateful for this. I have no physical damage to my face or limbs, I didn't suffer brain damage.. we were all so incredibly lucky.  We are all alive.

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Here is the thing, guys, ALL people go through traumas of various sorts in their lives, and we might see them every day for years and still not know about it.  We might think we know them or understand them - and chances are, we have judgments about who they are or the way they do things.  We have no idea that they are still being impacted by trauma(s) that they have experienced. Even after you are recovered, trauma changes you. You've heard it said: be kind, for everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about - but really... be kind, for everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about. 

Furthermore, be oh so soft and gentle with yourself as you navigate this world and heal from your traumas. Humans are soft sensitive creatures, and you deserve all of the compassion and nurturing that you yearn for.  Take all the time you need.  Even years and years later, if the wound in your soul tears open, respond with love over frustration.  Sit in the quiet safety of your nest, share with people who have earned the right to hear your story, and accept all the beautifully broken, repaired, (or partially repaired) parts of yourself.  You are a work of art that is currently in progress.  You are okay just the way you are.

And for life, my friends, this beautiful, amazing nightmare - be grateful, every damn day.  Hug someone you love today. Get in touch with the deep gratitude for being alive. Life is shorter and sweeter than we can grasp.

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    Mindy Amita Aisling

    ICF Certified Life & Business Coach, Authentic Marketing Educator, Small Business Advocate, Serial  Entreprenerd, Adventurer, Epiphany Hunter, Idea Maven, Growth Catalyst.
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    Mindy is passionate human seeking to live fully into the human experience.  She writes about emotional intelligence, authenticity, the personal growth journey, entrepreneurship, small business success, and How To Be Human: Vital Skills for Living An Authentic Life

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