My Family Was Hit By An Intoxicated Driver

​This date, Oct 11th, I call the 'life anniversary' for me and my family. I will never stop celebrating it, and the fact that we are all still here.  Last night we spent the evening as many families do, our 19-year old son came over, and we watched Monday Night Football, we ate together, laughed, talked, and shared funny videos and memes on our phones.  This simple pleasure, of having a normal, everyday night, is everything.  We are all alive.

Eight years ago today my life changed. I was trapped in metal for hours before I could be airlifted to the trauma center... intubated for days in critical care... months of being in a hospital bed... then being in a wheelchair... walking with a cane.... ER visits every other month for over a year, medical complications... internal bleeding,... more surgeries, ... and (for me) still experiencing pain to this day.

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I am not the same person I was before this day, eight years ago. Residing inside me now is fierce respect for tragedy and the element of chaos that exists in the universe. This day also gave birth to a strange, and seemingly permanent, palpable connection to the web of life that connects all things. In a spiritual sense, I would say that this near-death experience brought me to my knees - where I still am today, greeting every day with humility and awe (to be alive).

Many people see me daily, and would never know that I am, to this day, physically, mentally, and emotionally, impacted by this trauma. I am immensely grateful for this. I have no physical damage to my face or limbs, I didn't suffer brain damage.. we were all so incredibly lucky.  We are all alive.

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Here is the thing, guys, ALL people go through traumas of various sorts in their lives, and we might see them every day for years and still not know about it.  We might think we know them or understand them - and chances are, we have judgments about who they are or the way they do things.  We have no idea that they are still being impacted by trauma(s) that they have experienced. Even after you are recovered, trauma changes you. You've heard it said: be kind, for everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about - but really... be kind, for everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about. 

Furthermore, be oh so soft and gentle with yourself as you navigate this world and heal from your traumas. Humans are soft sensitive creatures, and you deserve all of the compassion and nurturing that you yearn for.  Take all the time you need.  Even years and years later, if the wound in your soul tears open, respond with love over frustration.  Sit in the quiet safety of your nest, share with people who have earned the right to hear your story, and accept all the beautifully broken, repaired, (or partially repaired) parts of yourself.  You are a work of art that is currently in progress.  You are okay just the way you are.

And for life, my friends, this beautiful, amazing nightmare - be grateful, every damn day.  Hug someone you love today. Get in touch with the deep gratitude for being alive. Life is shorter and sweeter than we can grasp.

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