In the relentless flow of life, we often find ourselves caught up in a whirlwind of activities, responsibilities, and commitments. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years, all while we carry the weight of our past and the burden of our unexamined present. It's easy to forget that to move forward authentically and achieve our goals, we must pause, reflect, and let go of whatever no longer serves us. This month, as I engage with the SHED coursework alongside my clients, I am embrace the liberating practice of letting go. One of my core beliefs are that we are all always growing and learning, we are all teachers and students. Therefore, in my courses, I work alongside my clients. I am both guide and student. This September, here are the three things I'm releasing from my life with the help of the SHED coursework.
1. My addiction to doing
3. My (unhelpful) inner-narrative about a past situation
My addiction to doing
Letting go of my addiction to doing is going to allow me to build a more balanced and healthy life. Not only does our society glorify busyness and place a premium on productivity, but I am still healing a poverty wound from my childhood (you can read my story here), so I have found myself addicted to constantly doing in an attempt to stay safe, secure and respected. Mentally, I understand that "doing" is not the best tool to use to create safety and respect in my life, but there are 3 ways to "know" something, and I need to pull my knowing from a level 2 (emotional) to a level 3 (modus operandi). Additionally, because I am so incredibly passionate about my work, I can easily find my neurodivergent brain hyper focusing on it for long hours. While this brings me a ton of joy, I recognize that in order to be the person I want to be, my life (and my focus) has to be more multidimensional and balanced.
Letting go of this addiction will require a shift in mindset and a commitment to prioritize my mental and emotional well-being. It involves time and dedication to meditation, reflection, and journaling as I investigate my values and needs in order to discover the "key" to realigning my internal "story". My updated story will allow me to embrace moments of stillness, self-care, and relaxation as just as important as accomplishing tasks. This shift will allow me to increase my self-awareness, improve my mental health, and achieve greater overall happiness.
If you struggle with over-doing, I invite you to join me in SHEDing this addiction. When we let go of the addiction to doing, we create space for reflection, creativity, and self-discovery. We allow ourselves to reconnect with our passions, values, and the things that truly matter to us. It's an opportunity to cultivate a more mindful and purposeful life where we savor each moment rather than rushing through them. Ultimately, the journey to release this addiction can lead us to a more authentic and fulfilling existence where we find contentment in simply being ourselves, free from the constant need to prove our worth through ceaseless activity.
Letting go of excess weight on our bodies is a journey that extends beyond just shedding physical pounds; it's about reclaiming our health, self-confidence, and overall well-being. Carrying excess weight can take a toll on both our physical and emotional health, but the process of shedding it can be a transformative and empowering experience.
For me, as I go into middle age (I'm 44), and I manage health issues (brain tumor) and medication for those health issues (that cause weight gain), I find myself trying to lose weight for the first time in my life. This is a new journey for me, and one that I'm excited about.
For me, it's not just about aesthetics but primarily about my health. I like to feel like my body is an asset to me in my choices. To the greatest extent possible, I want to be able to do whatever I want to do and not be limited by my body's capabilities (fitness and health). For me, it is about taking control of my life and making choices that promote longevity and vitality. It's about freeing myself from the physical limitations that extra weight can impose and giving myself the opportunity to live a life filled with energy and vitality.
As an NFPT Personal Trainer and Health Coach, I know that the journey to letting go of excess weight involves adopting sustainable lifestyle changes rather than quick fixes. I am focusing on cultivating healthier habits that I can maintain over time. I'm also doing experiments to discover exactly how my body responds to different foods so that I can optimize my diet.
The process of shedding excess weight also requires a shift in mindset. While this can include fostering self-compassion and embracing a positive self-image, for me it is primarily about my priorities and allowing diet and exercise to take up more of my time and energy every single day. If you're interested in following my journey on this topic, stay tuned as I work through the SHED curriculum throughout the rest of September!
My Story (about people not liking me)
The annual SHED course begins by assessing where you are "leaking" energy, where you feel constricted, and where you encounter sadness, stress or other heavy vibration feelings in your life. When I did my examination, I realized that there was a past situation in my life where I was holding on to a story that was not serving me. In fact, it was causing quite a leak in my energy field.
Because I've done this work for over a decade, this is not the first time that I've had to let go of a similar story. For me, it comes up sometimes and, gratefully, I have the tools to know how to manage it in my life and return to my most wild and free self.
Often, we construct narratives in our minds that are not necessarily grounded in reality, and these stories can have a detrimental impact on our self-esteem and relationships. The story that people don't like us/respect us/value us is a common one, and can stem from various sources, including past experiences, insecurities, or misinterpretations of social cues. However, it's crucial to remember that our perception isn't always an accurate reflection of how others truly feel about us. People's thoughts and feelings are complex, and their thoughts, beliefs and behaviors (including their opinions about us) ultimately describe them, not us. While it is easy to mentally understand this, living it is much more challenging.
If you are looking to change your story regarding how people think about you, you have two options. You can "check out reality" with the person and discover their actual thoughts and feelings - or you can change the story that you are telling yourself about the person and/or situation. I am going to be doing the latter one, changing my story. If you're interested in changing your story about a particular person or situation, download my DIY Coaching Course, The Stories We Tell Ourselves for a step-by-step guide to changing your stories. I'll also be posting another blog next week showing my personal step-by-step process in changing my story on this particular situation.
Letting go of what no longer serves us is not a one-time event but an ongoing journey. It's an act of self-compassion and a commitment to living authentically. Authentic living is about aligning our actions, choices, and beliefs with our true selves. It's the key to achieving our goals, finding genuine happiness, and experiencing lasting peace.
When we let go of old habits, toxic relationships, and the fear of failure, we create space for the authentic self to flourish. We become more in tune with our desires, values, and passions. This alignment empowers us to set meaningful goals and pursue them with unwavering dedication. Authenticity becomes a guiding principle, leading us towards a life that resonates with our innermost aspirations.
Taking time every year to review our lives and let go of what no longer serves us is a profound act of self-love and self-discovery. It is the authentic living path, a journey towards becoming our truest selves. As we shed the weight of old habits, toxic relationships, and fear, we make room for our authentic selves to shine through. With authenticity as our compass, we can navigate the twists and turns of life, achieve our goals, and experience unparalleled joy and peace. So, this month, I invite you to join me in letting go and embracing the authentic life that awaits us.
The idea of willingly embracing incompetence might seem counterintuitive. However, there's a profound truth hidden within this paradox: "The best way to become great at something is to suck at it with enthusiasm." These wise words by Authenticity Empowerment Coach Mindy Aisling encourage us to shatter the fear of failure and boldly venture into uncharted territories, accepting that stumbling is an integral part of the journey towards excellence.
Embracing the Unknown
As human beings, we tend to stick to what we know and excel at, avoiding situations where our competence may be in question. We avoid the discomfort of feeling like a beginner because it threatens our sense of self-worth and competence. However, it's precisely this fear that often hinders personal growth and prevents us from discovering new talents and passions.
Embracing the unknown is a crucial step in personal development. When you decide to embark on a new journey, whether it's picking up a musical instrument, trying a new sport, or learning a foreign language, you are essentially choosing to leave the safety of your comfort zone. It's important to acknowledge that at the beginning of any such endeavor, you're likely to be far from proficient. You might even "suck" at it, as Mindy Aisling suggests. But this is where the magic happens.
The Power of Enthusiastic Sucking
To "suck" at something means to perform poorly or unskillfully in the initial stages. It means making mistakes, fumbling, and perhaps even feeling a bit foolish. But here's the key: it's okay to suck at something when you're just starting. In fact, it's more than okay—it's essential.
When you embrace the process of learning with enthusiasm, you open yourself up to a world of possibilities. Enthusiastic sucking is not about accepting mediocrity; it's about recognizing that the path to mastery is paved with failures, missteps, and countless setbacks. These are the building blocks of success.
The Learning Curve
Every skill or talent has a learning curve. It's a graphical representation of your progress, and it often starts with a steep climb from the bottom, where you might feel completely out of your depth. This is where most people give up or shy away from trying something new. But this is also where the growth happens.
Think about a child learning to walk. In the beginning, they wobble, stumble, and fall repeatedly. But they don't give up. They keep trying, fueled by their curiosity and determination. Eventually, they become proficient walkers. The same principle applies to adults learning new skills or mastering new endeavors.
Overcoming Fear of Failure
The fear of failure is a powerful psychological barrier. It can prevent you from taking that first step toward something you've always wanted to try. However, when you acknowledge that failure is not the end but a stepping stone to success, you can start to shift your perspective.
Failure teaches valuable lessons. It shows you what doesn't work, allowing you to make adjustments and try again. Each "sucky" attempt brings you one step closer to improvement. The key is to maintain your enthusiasm throughout the process, even when things get tough. As you gain experience and learn from your mistakes, you'll gradually find yourself moving up the learning curve.
Building Resilience and Confidence
Embracing enthusiastic sucking also builds resilience and self-confidence. When you're willing to endure the initial discomfort of incompetence and keep pushing forward, you develop grit and determination. These qualities not only serve you well in your current endeavor but can also be applied to other areas of your life.
As you make progress and see your skills improve, your self-confidence naturally grows. You start to believe in your ability to conquer challenges, and this newfound confidence spills over into various aspects of your life. You become a more adaptable and capable individual.
So, be brave enough to suck at something new. Embrace the discomfort of incompetence with enthusiasm, knowing that it's a temporary stage on your journey to mastery. Mindy Aisling's wise words remind us that greatness is born from a willingness to face our limitations head-on and to keep pushing forward, even when we feel like we're far from achieving excellence. Remember, it's not about how you start; it's about how you persist and evolve along the way. In the end, you'll not only become great at what you set out to do but also discover the incredible strength and resilience within yourself.
Mindy Amita Aisling
Life Coaching for Big-Hearted Overthinkers & Entreprenerds
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Mindy Amita Aisling, is a professionally trained and board-certified leadership, authenticity, and entrepreneur coach.
Mindy exceeds all requirements set forth by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) for Master Coach certification.
Mindy is also a licensed mediator, communications coach, and conflict resolution practicer. As a mediator, she has worked both in private practice and as a court appointment mediator at her local county courthouse.
Through her innovative approach, she assists clients in examining their limiting beliefs, questioning their assumptions about how the world works, and releasing the notion that they are anything less than perfect. As a result, individuals who work with Mindy cultivate the ability to stand firm in their beliefs, live authentically and decisively, and discover an experience of life that is easy and graceful.
In 2021, Mindy founded How to Be Human and Entreprenerd. These programs have enabled her to share her wisdom and knowledge with a broader audience in service of her vision of helping others live authentic lives This, in turn, has empowered more individuals to lead their most TRUE and COURAGEOUS lives.
When she is not working, Mindy can be found playing outdoors in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, creating art, spending time with friends & family, or with her nose deep in a book.
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