Creating a Meaningful Life

Learning to create a meaningful life is a process.  It doesn't happen overnight, and the work is never completed.  The pursuit is not a task, but rather a practice - a new way of living.  Actively engaging in life creates meaning and purpose, and that requires continual intention and attention - both to your inner self and your outer reality.  The good news is that when you embrace this lifestyle, you create a flow that feels good - even when challenges arrive. 

The first step towards transforming your life is setting the stage, or preparing the soil.  You must create for yourself a figurative 'launch pad'.  First and foremost, this means that you must increase your self-care.  Transforming your life will require you to be at your best, and the only way that you can do that is to prioritize yourself.  Establishing a safe space where you feel secure to explore your inner workings is another key aspect of beginning this journey.  This pursuit will require you to spend time alone with yourself, and explore thoughts and feeling that might be uncomfortable.  Setting yourself up with a safe space will ensure your success.  Choosing to live a meaningful life is a courageous endeavor.  For my fellow nerds out there - you could say it is the path of the hero.  
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Next, it's time to take out the trash.  This means examining the thoughts, habits, and beliefs that are currently creating your life as it is now.   This can be challenging and requires time and support.  If you are ready to dedicate yourself to this process, I highly recommend investing in a non-biased, professionally trained person who can assist you in the process.  

Third,  you must gain absolute clarity on who you are and what you need to feel alive and thriving.  You must know, without any doubt, the life you are creating.  Not the details and logistics of it – but the feeling of it.  You must know the taste, smell and feel of it, while at the same time embracing that you have no idea how it will present itself to you or what it will look like.

Now, it's time to become best buds with YOU - your most authentic self that is hidden deep down in your gut.  That self that you are in your most private moments and thoughts - that is the you that must be born into the world.   Revealing this authentic self is incredibly challenging - but we can do hard things.  If you are reading this, I know - without a doubt - that you are up to the task.  With my coaching clients, this is the stage of the coaching relationship where I believe in them so fiercely, without judgement or doubt, that they walk into the world with the shoulders back, head held high, and heart shining.  

The final step towards creating a meaningful life is bold action that is in alignment with your authentic self, your belief systems, and the clarity you hold for your future.  This is where the rubber hits the road.  It is also where the magic really starts to happen.
 
So, let's just take a little bite out of this process.  Let’s empty one little part of your mind.  The Should’s.  Take a moment and ponder the following questions.  You can print this out and write your answers, or just answer in your head.

• What are 3 "should's" you have for yourself?
• What are 3 "should's" you have for your appearance/weight?
• What are 3 "should's" you have for your spouse?
• What are 3 "should's" you have for your kids?
• What are 3 "should's" you have for your friends?
• What are 3 "should's" you have for your parents?
• What are 3 "should's" you have for your staff?  or your boss?
• What is 1 "should"  you have around the role of being a “spouse”?
• What is 1 "should"  you have around the role of being a “professional”?
• What is 1 "should"  you have around the role of being a “parent”?
• What is 1 "should" you have for being a "hard worker"
• What is 1 "should" you have for being a "success"
• What would happen if you let go of these should's?
• How do you know that thought (your above answer) is true?
• Would you be willing to try going without these should's for a week?  30 days? 

 
Remember, the big "T" truth is that there are no "should's".  You make the rules for you and your life.  Because you make all of the rules, assure that they are ones that work to support you in your authentic expression and support a life you love.