A Blog for Big-Hearted Overthinkers

It is safe to say that everyone wants to grow and improve in some way, whether it be personally or professionally. However, change can be difficult. Forming new habits, breaking old ones, and learning new things can be daunting tasks. But if you want to see real growth, it is essential to have the right mindset.

A Fixed Mindset vs. a Growth Mindset
One of the biggest obstacles to personal growth is a fixed mindset. People with a fixed mindset believe that their talents and abilities are set in stone. They have a "this is just the way I am" attitude and don't believe that they can really change or improve. On the other hand, people with a growth mindset believe that they can always grow and improve. They see their talents and abilities as fluid and are constantly working to develop them further.

Which mindset do you have? If you're not sure, here are some signs that you have a fixed mindset:

• You tend to give up easily when faced with challenges.
• You avoid taking risks because you're afraid of failure.
• You're highly critical of yourself and others.
• You frequently compare yourself to others and feel threatened by their success.

​On the other hand, here are some signs that you have a growth mindset:

• You're resilient in the face of setbacks and view them as opportunities to learn and grow.
• You're constantly seeking out new challenges and learning opportunities. 
• You're open to feedback and use it to improve your performance. 
• You see failure as an inevitable part of the journey to success. 

If you have a fixed mindset, don't worry—it's never too late to develop a growth mindset! Just keep in mind that it requires a change in perspective. Here are some tips for developing a growth mindset: 

• Practice mindfulness: Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions without judgment. This will help you become more aware of your fixed mindset thought patterns so that you can begin to challenge them. 
• Reframe your mistakes: Start seeing your mistakes as opportunities for learning and growth rather than evidence of your lack of ability. 
• Seek out feedback: Ask for feedback from others and be open to hearing what they have to say—even if it's tough to hear. 

Personal growth requires a change in perspective—namely, shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. A fixed mindset is characterized by an unwillingness to take risks or embrace challenges, while a growth mindset embraces challenges as opportunities for learning and development. If you want to see real personal growth, it is essential to develop a growth mindset. And luckily, it's never too late to make the switch! By practicing mindfulness, reframing your mistakes, and seeking out feedback, you can develop a growth mindset and set yourself up for success.

Have you ever become so bogged down with the humdrum tediousness of life that you forget that you're here to live your dreams?  Yeah, me too.  Take out the trash, buy the milk, make money, plan for retirement, clean the cat box... and it goes on and on into nauseating repetition. It is true that life has its boring aspects, but when combined with striving to achieve your dreams, these seemingly boring things can take on a comforting and reassuring quality.  It's strange but true. However, when you lose sight of your dreams and all you have are the tasks of life, it can lead to depression and apathy. 

Your desires were given to you with a purpose - to discover a way to experience them in this lifetime.  That's it.  It's simple.  The purpose of life is not to make money, contribute to capitalism, or achieve an award for being normal or good enough.  The purpose of life is to achieve your dreams and be kind to others and the earth in the process.  If you've been stressing about life, I give you permission to go ahead and stop. There is no need to stress that you're "doing it right", all you have to do is lean into that which you love.  

Tip #1 - To Get Closer To Your Dreams: Start Identifying What Brings You Joy.

Start identifying what brings you joy.  It can be as simple as your cup of coffee in the morning.  Find every tiny thing that brings you joy and do more of them, focus on them, and be present with them.  When you actively partake in activities that put you in a joyful state of being, you automatically align energetically with your dreams.  

Every moment you are experiencing joy, you are 'paying' for your dream to be created in your future. Energy, or feelings, are the currency that we use to purchase (create) what we want in life.  To create something in this world you need to plant and nurture the seed of the thing that you want.  As humans, we do that by focusing on the feeling or vibration of that thing.  When you lay around dreaming of the life you'd love to live, that life holds the vibration of joy.  So find ways to feel more joy in now, and in the strange and magical way of things, you'll be getting close to what you want in the future. ​

Prioritization is the action or process of deciding the importance or urgency of things in our life. While it sounds simple, many of us rarely utilize this tool with the wisdom and discernment necessary to make it a catalyst for creating the life of our dreams. When we allow life to choose our priorities for us, we give away our power.
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Imagine your life as a rowboat out there on the waters of life. Is your boat in good condition, or does it have several leaks and a broken oar? When many of us desire to achieve our goals, pursue our dreams, or invite change into our lives, the first tool that we use is effort. We believe that more effort = better (or different) results. While this can be true, it certainly is not the truth.
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Returning to the boat analogy, how effective would it be if you increased your effort, rowing your boat 5x as fast as you were before, but left the leaks in the bottom or the boat? You would continue to take on water, you’d slow down, and you’d have to take more breaks to bail out the water so that you wouldn’t sink. Now, imagine fixing all the leaks in your boat, and then returning to rowing at the same level of effort as before.

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There is no shortage of quotes about how your thoughts impact your life and your goals. A simple google search or visit to the personal development section of your local bookstore will provide you with an abundance of wisdom on this topic. It is no longer a mystery that what we think has an impact on the amount of joy and contentment we experience, and our ability to achieve the goals we have for our lives. So why, if thinking empowering thoughts is so clearly helpful, do so few of us engage in the practice?

“We create with our consciousness. What we think about, pay attention to, focus on, and choose to believe…whatever goes on in our mind, is what becomes our reality.”
― Anthon St. Maarten
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After I decade of working with clients as a life coach, I’ve witnessed that people who are able to use the power of their thoughts to reach their goals do two things:

1. Choose to trust themselves over trusting their thoughts. Period.
2. Discipline themselves to retrain their thoughts. Again, and again, and again, as an ongoing, daily practice.

Every single client that has practiced these two things (daily) has achieved extraordinary results. They have been able to manifest their dreams and goals into reality. Falling in love, making more money, opening a business, buying a house, improving their health… you name it, every goal required these exact same building blocks.

“We are what we believe we are.”
― C.S. Lewis

Now, these two things are simple, but they are not easy. If they were easy, everyone would do them and you’d look around and see the majority of people living their dream lives. That is clearly not the case. So let’s talk about what the practice of doing these two things looks like so that we can break it down and begin to experiment with what it feels like to practice these two things daily.
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I recommend starting with one unhelpful thought that plagues you. For this example, let's start with the thought, “People don’t like me” or “I am unlikeable”, or whatever version of this thought your mind has a habit of thinking. Maybe it is something like, “I am too much”, “I take up too much space”, “I am too loud”, “I am too quiet”, “I’m not smart enough”, “I’m not educated enough”, “I’m too old”…. pick a single thought to work on transforming. And let’s begin the experiment….

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Let’s be honest, good habits are hard to keep even when you are feeling your best and believing in infinite possibilities for your future. When your feelings start to go south, and that negative voice in your head creeps in, (quite annoyingly telling you that you’re a piece of shit), it is even harder to stick to good habits. However, in these moments, doubling down on your commitment pays off. Positive habits, intentional routines, and deliberate actions are the exact things that will transform your life into an experience that you feel deeply satisfied with.

You must commit to the actions that you know will lead to success in spite of any negative thoughts or feelings. Personal growth & development is hard and uncomfortable — AND, it is also exactly what you need to lean into if you want to create the life that you wish you had. While the process of growth can be challenging and requires commitments, the results are without compare. When you are waking up to a life that you feel good living every single day, the ‘cost’ of personal growth will feel like nothing. You will be happy to have paid it.


Thoughts and feelings follow actions.

If you want to succeed in life (whatever your unique definition of success might be) you simply cannot wait to feel ____________(motivated / good / confident / skinny / happy) before you commit to the habits, routines, and actions that are required to create the life your soul is longing for.....


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