Listening is one of those skills that most people take for granted. We think we know how to do it. In fact, we are so sure that we know how to listen that most of us never even consider taking a course or reading a book to learn how to listen.
My experience, however, is that very few people are good listeners… but those that are, they are revolutionizing their relationships, empowering people around them, and leaving a positive footprint in the world.
Here is a simple breakdown of the three types of listening:
Level One: Subjective (All about the listener)
Subjective listening occurs when whatever is said is heard through the experiences of the listener and how they relate to the listener. Listening in this case, is based on the agenda or needs of the listener and rarely satisfies the speaker.
Level one listening:
Level Two: Objective (neutral)
Objective listening occurs when the listener is completely focused on the other person. There is no thought about how any of the information relates personally to the listener. This level is more effective than subjective listening, and is sometimes very effective, but often doesn’t get to the “heart” of the matter.
Here is an example of level two listening:
Level Three: Intuitive or Active (all about the speaker)
Intuitive listening occurs when the listener is using all sensory components and intuitively connecting to the real message of the speaker. The listener has all his or her attention on not only what the speaker says, but also how they say it (the tone of voice, energy level, feelings, etc.), including what ISN'T being said.
This level is the most powerful form of listening, and when mastered, allows the listener the opportunity to deeply connect with the speaker. This level of listening is an act of love. When a person listens at a level three, you are helping the speaker explore what they are sharing and even understand it deeper themselves. This level of listening is the seed for emotional intimacy, understanding, connection, collaboration, and growth.
It’s important to remember that it doesn’t matter if the listener's intuition is right or wrong – simply exploring it will open the conversation and build intimacy with the speaker.
Here is an example of level three listening:
What type of listening do you use most often in your day-to-day life? How would practicing this skill impact your life?
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Mindy Amita Aisling
Life Coaching for Big-Hearted Overthinkers & Entreprenerds
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Mindy Amita Aisling, is a professionally trained and board-certified leadership, authenticity, and entrepreneur coach.
Mindy exceeds all requirements set forth by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) for Master Coach certification.
Mindy is also a licensed mediator, communications coach, and conflict resolution practicer. As a mediator, she has worked both in private practice and as a court appointment mediator at her local county courthouse.
Through her innovative approach, she assists clients in examining their limiting beliefs, questioning their assumptions about how the world works, and releasing the notion that they are anything less than perfect. As a result, individuals who work with Mindy cultivate the ability to stand firm in their beliefs, live authentically and decisively, and discover an experience of life that is easy and graceful.
In 2021, Mindy founded How to Be Human and Entreprenerd. These programs have enabled her to share her wisdom and knowledge with a broader audience in service of her vision of helping others live authentic lives This, in turn, has empowered more individuals to lead their most TRUE and COURAGEOUS lives.
When she is not working, Mindy can be found playing outdoors in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, creating art, spending time with friends & family, or with her nose deep in a book.
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