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A Blog for Big-Hearted Overthinkers

Canid Commentary & Useful Hacks on Being Human

Feelings That Alert Us When Our Boundaries Are Being Crossed

6/29/2023

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Feelings That Alert Us When Our Boundaries Are Being Crossed

Feelings That Alert Us When Our Boundaries Are Being Crossed

Establishing and maintaining personal boundaries is vital for our emotional well-being and healthy relationships. Boundaries help define our limits, protect our values, and ensure that our needs are respected. However, it's not always easy to recognize when our boundaries are being crossed. Fortunately, our emotions can serve as valuable signals, providing us with important cues that alert us to potential boundary violations. Below I will outline some common feelings that arise when our boundaries are being crossed and discuss their significance in helping us protect our boundaries and maintain healthier relationships.
  1. Discomfort or Unease: One of the most common feelings that signal a boundary violation is a sense of discomfort or unease. You may feel a subtle internal resistance or a gnawing feeling that something isn't right. This discomfort often arises when someone's actions or words conflict with our values or personal limits. Pay attention to these feelings, as they serve as an early warning sign that our boundaries may be at risk.
  2. Anger or Frustration: Feelings of anger or frustration can indicate that our boundaries have been crossed. When someone disregards our limits or acts in a way that goes against our values, it's natural to feel a surge of anger or irritation. These emotions can prompt us to assert ourselves, communicate our boundaries clearly, and take necessary steps to address the violation.
  3. Resentment or Bitterness: If we consistently ignore or dismiss our own boundaries, we may start to feel resentment or bitterness. These emotions often indicate that our boundaries have been repeatedly violated, and we haven't effectively addressed the issue. Resentment serves as a reminder to prioritize self-care and take action to protect our boundaries before they become sources of long-term resentment.
  4. Anxiety or Fear: When our boundaries are violated, we may experience anxiety or fear. These emotions can stem from a sense of vulnerability or a lack of safety. It's essential to recognize these feelings as indicators that our boundaries need reinforcement or that we may need to remove ourselves from an unhealthy or unsafe situation.
  5. Guilt or Shame: Sometimes, the violation of our boundaries can trigger feelings of guilt or shame. We might question whether it is selfish to set boundaries or worry about disappointing others. Recognize that these emotions are not necessarily an indication of wrongdoing but rather a reflection of societal conditioning. Setting and enforcing healthy boundaries is an act of self-respect and self-care, and we should not feel guilty or ashamed for doing so.
  6. Exhaustion or Resentment: Constantly accommodating others and neglecting our own needs can lead to emotional exhaustion and resentment. If we find ourselves consistently depleted or emotionally drained in certain relationships or situations, it may be a sign that our boundaries are being disregarded. Acknowledge these feelings as signs that self-care and boundary reinforcement are essential.
Our emotions act as powerful indicators, alerting us when our boundaries are being crossed. By tuning in and recognizing the feelings that arise when our limits are violated, we can proactively protect ourselves and maintain healthier relationships. Remember, it is essential to listen to these signals, honor our boundaries, and communicate them assertively and effectively. By doing so, we empower ourselves and foster an environment of mutual respect and understanding.

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Related Blogs & Articles:
⭐ Why Annoyance Arises & What it Can Teach Us
⭐​ 'Being Right' Damages Relationships
​⭐ Understanding the Nature of Emotions
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    Mindy Amita Aisling, is a professionally trained and board-certified leadership, authenticity, and entrepreneur coach.

    Mindy exceeds all requirements set forth by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) for Master Coach certification.

    Mindy is also a licensed mediator, communications coach, and conflict resolution practicer.  As a mediator, she has worked both in private practice and as a court appointment mediator at her local county courthouse.

    Through her innovative approach, she assists clients in examining their limiting beliefs, questioning their assumptions about how the world works, and releasing the notion that they are anything less than perfect. As a result, individuals who work with Mindy cultivate the ability to stand firm in their beliefs, live authentically and decisively, and discover an experience of life that is easy and graceful.

    In 2021, Mindy founded How to Be Human and Entreprenerd. These programs have enabled her to share her wisdom and knowledge with a broader audience in service of her vision of helping others live authentic lives This, in turn, has empowered more individuals to lead their most TRUE and COURAGEOUS lives.

    ​When she is not working, Mindy can be found playing outdoors in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, creating art, spending time with friends & family, or with her nose deep in a book.

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  • Coaching
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