Communication Tip: Check Your Intention

Communication Tip: Check Your Intention

The human brain is wired for connection, and all of us desire to be seen, heard, and understood as well as feel love, safety, and connection. The primary tool that we use to achieve these things is communication. However, the effectiveness of these conversations often hinges on the intentions behind them. By taking a moment to check our motives before engaging in a conversation, we can foster better connections, promote understanding, and ensure positive outcomes. 

Communication Tip: Understanding the Influence of Intention

Intention forms the foundation of effective communication. It shapes the way we express ourselves and influences how others perceive and respond to us. Recognizing the power of intention allows us to be more mindful of the impact our words and actions can have on others. By aligning our intentions with our words and energy, we can create more effective communication.

Communication Tip: Reflecting on Your Motives

Before engaging in a conversation, it is essential to take a moment to reflect on our motives.  The three questions that I always ask myself are:

1. What do I want for me?
2. What do I want for you?
3. What do I want for this relationship?

You can also ask yourself:

• What do I hope to achieve through this conversation?
• Am I seeking understanding, resolution, or connection?
• Am I driven by ego, the need to prove a point, or to assert dominance?

Honest introspection allows us to become aware of any hidden agendas or biases that might hinder meaningful dialogue.

Communication Tip: Practicing Empathy and Respect

Checking our intentions also involves cultivating empathy and respect for the other person's perspective. By genuinely seeking to understand their point of view and respecting their autonomy, we create a safe space for open and honest communication. Avoiding judgment and being receptive to different ideas fosters an atmosphere of mutual respect and cooperation.​

Communication Tip: Seeking Clarity and Emotional Regulation

Emotional intelligence plays a vital role in checking our intentions. Before engaging in a conversation, it is crucial to regulate our emotions and approach the discussion with a clear mind. Being aware of our emotional state allows us to communicate more effectively and avoid unnecessary conflict or misunderstanding. By expressing ourselves calmly and respectfully, we encourage a productive exchange of ideas.  Remember:  Don't operate from your reptile brain! ​

Communication Tip: Considering the Impact on Others

Every conversation has the potential to impact others in significant ways. Therefore, it is essential to consider the potential consequences of our words and actions. Are we uplifting and supporting others, or are we inadvertently causing harm or discomfort? By adopting a mindful approach, we can ensure that our conversations contribute positively to the well-being of those involved.​

Communication Tip: Adapting and Learning

:Reflecting on our conversations and their outcomes enables us to grow and adapt. It allows us to learn from our mistakes, refine our intentions, and improve our communication skills. Embracing a growth mindset helps us become more receptive to feedback, leading to more meaningful and fulfilling conversations in the future.


Every conversation we engage in offers an opportunity to connect, learn, and grow. By checking our intentions before initiating a dialogue, we can steer our conversations towards positive outcomes. Cultivating empathy, practicing emotional regulation, and considering the impact on others are crucial steps towards fostering healthy and meaningful communication. So, the next time you find yourself preparing for a conversation, take a moment to reflect on your motives, and let your intentions pave the way for a more enriching and harmonious exchange of ideas.

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