Satsang is a Sanskrit term derived from two root words, sat meaning true and sanga meaning community. A Satsang, therefore, is a gathering together to seek the truth. The human life can be challenging and fraught with many obstacles. Questions, concerns, confusion, and doubts may arise at any time. All of us sometimes get stuck or feel like we're just spinning our wheels living a construct of a life, without really getting to the deeper experience of being alive. Being a human also presents us with the opportunity to go after every experience that we desire. It offers unending pleasures and awe to each of us. There is a South African phrase, ubuntu (oo-boon-too) which means "I am because we are". The term is derived from the phrase Umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu, which translates to "a person is a person through other people". Former US President Barack Obama referenced this word at Nelson Mandela's funeral saying, "We are all bound together in ways that can be invisible to the eye; there is a oneness to humanity; we achieve ourselves by sharing ourselves with others, and caring for those around us." Satsang fosters both of these things: the seeking of truth, and the sharing of self. A few of the requirements of a Satsang group: Each person must be committed to bringing out the best in another Each person must be committed to the investigation and "not knowing" Each person must be curious about the deeper meaning of life and the human experience When a group gathers under these conditions, it can have a profound effect. In a shared space of support and unity, the veils of illusion can be more easily lifted. When we talk about Satsang, and sitting in the "truth", we are referring to the truth being what is real, what exists. So all there is, is truth. Whenever something increases your experience of the truth, you heart opens and your mind quiets. Conversely, whenever something (such as a thought, fear, or judgement, limits or narrows your experience of the truth, the heart contracts and the mind gets busier. We are all equally endowed with the capacity to discriminate the truth. Therefore, we are all the teacher. Rumi said, "Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and righdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there." This is Satsang. The field where there is no right or wrong, only investigation, and further expansion. The purpose of Satsang is not to provide devotion to a spiritual teacher or acquire spiritual knowledge - the purpose is to come home to yourself. (For a practical look into Satsang, the the kinds of questions explored, take a peek at this excerpt from the book Nothing Personal, Seeing Beyond the Illusion of a Separate Self by Nirmala.)
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It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human. It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’ It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. (One of my all-time favorite poems, by the talented Oriah Mountain Dreamer.)
Being a human isn’t simple, easy, or even intuitive. We all go about it, pretending we know how to do it, and assuming that everyone else around us has it figured out. We all struggle, but we never talk about the struggle (because we don’t talk about Fight Club).
Here are a few of the counter-intuitive hard truths of life: → Doing hard things in the moment makes life easier overall. → The cure for the pain is in the pain. → There is no arrival (it is not the job, not the true love, not your age, or the amount of money you make). It’s ALL a journey until you die. Click here to finish reading this article on Medium (The following is an excerpt from the book, Nothing Personal, Seeing Beyond the Illusion of a Separate Self by Nirmala.) "Many of the questions and concerns in the satsangs or spiritual gatherings I lead come in a similar form:
They’re good questions. There’s nothing wrong with them. They’re real for the person who’s asking them. Within each of these questions is the assumption that you need to do something-you need to get or keep or avoid something. Right there, in that assumption, is our suffering. The effort to get or keep or avoid any experience is what makes life miserable, difficult, dis-easeful. In satsang, another possibility is pointed to, a way of touching your experience without either trying to hold on to it or push it away. It's a way of reaching out to your experience and really seeing what's it's like. In doing this, the questions become:
In doing this, rather than trying to change life, you're living life as a question.
We've been so conditioned to think that the point of questions is to get answers that we overlook that the point of answers is that they get us to more questions. The questions are as valid and rich as any answer because every answer is full of questions. You can even begin to enjoy the questions, even trust the questions, as much as any answer that comes. When you value the questions themselves, you just naturally hold the answers more lightly because they aren't the goal. If the question is just as rich as the answer, then it's fine if the answer comes and goes. Have you ever noticed that you've forgotten everything you once understood? Every insight you've ever had has faded, and that's great because then you're back in the question. You're back in this really alive place where you're getting to find out what you know now, what's happening now, what's moving, what's changing, what it's like now. What is it like now? You'll never be done with that question. What's happening now? You could say that answers are just a temporary side effect of having questions. This is a gentler, more respectful way of being with your experience. It's a more intimate way of being with your experience every moment to ask what it's like instead of How can I fix it? How can I get more? How can I get less? How can I improve it? How can I change it? How can I avoid it? How can I hang onto it? Do you see how all of these questions have an effort to them? They have a sense of violence to them, a sense of being in battle with or in opposition to your life. It's hard to be intimate with someone when you're pushing them out the door or trying to keep them from leaving. There's no intimacy in that kind of interaction. How much possibility is there for real, deep contact? The same thing is true for other aspects of our experience. It is possible to intimately experience the expansions and contractions, the openings and the closings, the freedom and the stuckness, the wonder and the confusion, the understanding and the lack of understanding. So, what experience is moving in you right now? No matter what that is, that's the place to start because that's what's moving in you right now. If a desire is moving in you right now, what's it like to want something? Or if it's a fear, what's it like to fear something? There are no wrong questions; they're all entry points, places where this inquiry can open up and become soft and intimate. So, what's it like right now? You have the right -nay, the responsibility - to do, have, and be, exactly what you want. Your job in this lifetime is to do what’s best for you and your life, not what is best for everyone else. If you just read that and felt a rejection to that statement in your body, or you had a thought that had the word "selfish" in it, I encourage you to get really curious about yourself. If you feel a reaction to the idea of doing what is best for yourself instead of what is best for others, please read When Is It Okay To Be Selfish? Here is the cold hard truth: if your energy is focused on pleasing those around you, or living by what "they" say is right/wrong or good/bad - you will never live into your full potential or happiness. Believe me, I get it. I'm a recovering people pleaser myself, and I still struggle to recognize where and how it shows up in my life. Recovery from deeply programed ways of being is not something that you achieve once, it is something you cultivate as a life practice. To me, the practice is cultivating empty spaces and a slow moving lifestyle so that I have the wherewithal to be present with my life and recognize when I'm operating from old wounds or belief systems. People pleasing doesn't often come up for me anymore... unless I allow myself to slip into not giving myself the things I need to nourish my body and soul. When I am unhealthy and unbalanced, my old programming resurfaces. Below, I've shared an excise for bringing more awareness to where in your life you might have room to "clean out the cupboards", and shed things that aren't truly authentic to you. But, remember, the cornerstone of any personal growth and development or spiritual journey is self-care. (Click here to read the Basics of What You Need To Do a Personal Growth Journey.) To bring clarity to where you are limiting yourself, do the following exercise. Remember - the more honest that you are with yourself, the more opportunity you have to transform your life! Action Step: Make a list of all the things you want, but have not taken action on because:
Every single human has a gap between where they are - and where they want to be. The size of this gap is created by lack of clarity, people pleasing, fear, or limiting beliefs. The first step to reducing the size of this gap is to discover how big this gap is, and what experiences are (currently) being lost to you because of this gap. You only get this one life - don't think for a single minute that you don't have the duty to make it exactly what you want it to be. You deserve to have every experience that you want want to have while you are in this human form on this beautiful planet. The way that you want to look, the way that you want to love, the way that you want to play, the way that you want to work - it's all up to you. There are no limits.
Listening to our inner voice allows us to fully discern our innate wisdom, guidance, and direction. In doing so, we invoke the power of trusting ourselves and confidently following our truth. This, in turn, unfolds the most beautiful and true version of our life. A person's inner voice can be viewed as a part of themselves that can rise above the details of the moment, and their own emotions, to gain a more objective perspective. There is always an inner voice guiding us - whether it is responding to a present situation, reflecting on a past experience, or offering guidance in the future. Our inner voice is our innate intelligence. In order to listen to the inner voice, we must turn inward to hear what our bodies and souls are saying before turning to the world outside of ourselves for guidance. The more we do this, the more we cultivate a relationship with our inner voice, and the easier it gets to live from the 'seat of the soul' - our own wisdom and truth. This inner voice has been there all our lives, offering guidance, sometimes gently and other times urgently. At times we have listened to it, and at times we have brushed it aside. This voice is called many different things - an inner voice, inner guide, spiritual guide, higher self, inner coach, higher wisdom, god, goddess, alchemist, knower, or whatever you choose. (I like to call mine Fred). Below, I've outlined some tips to kick start the relationship with your inner voice - but a quick note before we begin, and this is important: Your inner voice is designed to be used by you, on you, exclusively. This wisdom is guidance for operating in your body, and in your life, and it is not designed to be used on another person. So, I caution you to be wary of the lure of turning your inner wisdom into advice. While this can be an innocent action with a positive intention, the greatest way we can 'help' others is to get them in touch with their own inner voice rather than providing them with advice from ours. It should also be noted that if someone in your life is giving you advice from their inner voice, it is your responsibility to check in with yourself and see what your inner voice has to say, rather than accepting it without investigation. Tip #1 - Slow Down When we rush through our days, or when we are constantly 'plugged in', the mind remains busy and frenetic. By creating more space between our thoughts, we allow our inner voice the space to speak up and be heard. So, practice doing things slowly, and notice the smell, sound, and feel of the world around you. Set your phone down and unplug from the technology in your life. Tip #2 - Invite Your Inner Voice to The Table Inside our minds, we have a roundtable of voices. Most of us have an inner critic, an inner child, a warrior or protector, some of us have a risk taker or a rule follower - or both. These voices are a result of everything you've experienced up to this point in your life, and your endeavor to survive and understand the world around you. In the litany of these thoughts, you can ask your inner voice what it thinks, what it would do, etc, at any given moment. Just the act of opening this door will increase your access to your inner voice. Tip #3 - Increase Your Self Care Quality self-care can greatly influence the ability to tap into our inner voice. Self-care is noticing what you need in the moment to come back into balance, and giving it to yourself. For example, if you notice that you are anxious, ask yourself, "What do I need right now?". Practicing self-care in this moment might mean pausing to walk in nature, listening to calming music, or calling a good friend. When we are in balance and grounded in our body, it is easier to hear our inner voice. Tip #4 - Journal or Meditate Finding time for reflection and investigation is key to developing a relationship with your inner voice. You can allow, or write, your stream of consciousness - simply being a witness, without judgment, to whatever presents itself. You can also ask your inner voice questions such as; Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose? What am I grateful for? What can I do today to bring me closer to my true self? What do I need to pay attention to at this moment? What does my heart want right now? What does my body need right now? Tip #5 - Create Safety In order to hear your inner voice of wisdom, you must quiet the loud voices of survival. These voices are beautiful and essential to keep you safe and alive - but as long as you allow yourself to stay in a situation that is unsafe, the quiet of your inner voice can not be heard. This means that you must build healthy boundaries around anything or anyone that makes you feel unsafe. Strong boundaries are essential to accessing your inner voice. When you let other people's thoughts, demands, needs, desires, and authority override your own, your inner voice will be silenced. Tip #6 - Prioritize You Physical & Mental Health We are one inner-connected system - our bodies, minds, emotions, and consciousness all work together. We are able to operate most effectively when all of these are in balance. This means eating foods that support us in feeling nourished and energetic, exercising so our hearts are healthy and we feel strong, and stretching so our muscles feel long and flexible. This also means getting professional support or medication for any mental health illnesses. When our systems are balanced, it is easer to discern the difference between our inner voice and an emotional reaction. Tip #7 - Get Curious & Playful Your inner voice can be easy to ignore. It can show up as a subtle feeling, quiet knowings, and gentle guidance from within. Your inner voice will not override your choices, you have to choose your inner voice. For many of us, it has become a habit to brush over an aha moment, a wave of goosebumps, or a pull in our gut - but the more we learn to pay attention to these indicators, the better we'll become at discerning and understanding them. Intentionally stepping into being more playful and curious with our inner voice can serve to strengthen the relationship we have with it. Developing a relationship with your inner voice is an ongoing pursuit. It is a path of choosing, over and over again, to carve out space and time for our inner voice to flourish, and cultivating the courage to follow the quiet urging in our soul. Humans have spent thousands of years casting runes, interpreting the stars, or tracing lines in their hands in search of a sign, an answer, or a confirmation. When we search for a sign, our aim is to know, essentially, that what we are doing is right, that we are choosing the right person, job, or path, for our life. We long to, at long last, lay down this burden of constantly questioning ourselves.
But what if we knew we were doing it right? What if we trusted, beyond a doubt, that we already knew the answer? When we find ourselves looking for a sign, we are one step removed from ourselves. We are at the doorstep of our truth, but we have yet to walk through the door. We have yet to come home to the reality that each of us has an inner voice that knows all of the answers for us, and that we can trust it implicitly. Some people call this voice the higher self, the sage, the knower — I like to call mine Fred. Some people externalize this voice and they like to call it god. Finish reading this article on Medium... Have you ever become so bogged down with the humdrum tediousness of life that you forget that you're here to live your dreams? Yeah, me too. Take out the trash, buy the milk, make money, plan for retirement, clean the cat box... and it goes on and on into nauseating repetition. It is true that life has its boring aspects, but when combined with striving to achieve your dreams, these seemingly boring things can take on a comforting and reassuring quality. It's strange but true. However, when you lose sight of your dreams and all you have are the tasks of life, it can lead to depression and apathy. Your desires were given to you with a purpose - to discover a way to experience them in this lifetime. That's it. It's simple. The purpose of life is not to make money, contribute to capitalism, or achieve an award for being normal or good enough. The purpose of life is to achieve your dreams and be kind to others and the earth in the process. If you've been stressing about life, I give you permission to go ahead and stop. There is no need to stress that you're "doing it right", all you have to do is lean into that which you love. Tip #1 - To Get Closer To Your Dreams: Start Identifying What Brings You Joy. Start identifying what brings you joy. It can be as simple as your cup of coffee in the morning. Find every tiny thing that brings you joy and do more of them, focus on them, and be present with them. When you actively partake in activities that put you in a joyful state of being, you automatically align energetically with your dreams. Every moment you are experiencing joy, you are 'paying' for your dream to be created in your future. Energy, or feelings, are the currency that we use to purchase (create) what we want in life. To create something in this world you need to plant and nurture the seed of the thing that you want. As humans, we do that by focusing on the feeling or vibration of that thing. When you lay around dreaming of the life you'd love to live, that life holds the vibration of joy. So find ways to feel more joy in now, and in the strange and magical way of things, you'll be getting close to what you want in the future. Tip #2 - To Get Closer To Your Dreams: Connect With The YOU in the future that you're dreaming about. Begin by connecting with who you are in the future that you're dreaming about. What does your future self do? What do they think? How do they feel? What actions do they take? What choices do they make? What are their habits and beliefs? Take the time to get really clear on who this future version of you is (you can do this by daydreaming more about the future you want). After you have clarity on this future version of yourself, identify how the current you is different. Recognize the gap. After you recognize the gap - don't beat yourself up!! This is really important because beating yourself up is going to get you further away from your dreams. It's okay that you're not there yet. There is a well-used belief system in our culture that says if you hate yourself or beat yourself up, then you'll change into the person that you want to be. Nothing could be further from the truth. Love yourself in the now and recognize who you want to be in the future. Then, take action steps to behave, think, and believe more like you imagine your future self would. In every moment, ask yourself, "What would my future self do in this situation?" When you start behaving as your future self would, you will begin to pull that future vision toward you. Tip #3 - To Get Closer To Your Dreams: Decide That You Are The Boss of Your Thoughts Decide that you are the boss of your thoughts. Now is the time to draw a line in the sand and embrace the truth that you are not your thoughts. You are something much bigger and more powerful. That means that you are the one who gets to choose which thoughts are telling you the truth and which thoughts are lying to you. You will have thoughts that will try and take you away from achieving #1 & #2 (above). Each person thoughts are unique, but some of the thoughts that are your 'red flags' are thoughts that sound like this:
Begin to recognize your 'red flag' thoughts, and anytime they enter your mind, do not entertain them. Tell them that they are not the truth, reaffirm what is the truth, and move on with your day. I suggest making a list of what your red flag thoughts sound like, and then don't give them a freakin' inch. Your dreams are waiting for you, and you have what it takes to achieve them. I'm so excited for you. Living from your authentic self-touts many benefits, both for your physical body and your mental/emotional body. Here are a few signs that you might be disconnected from your authentic self, and a few tips on how to regain that connection to your personal power source. #1 -You’re Frequently Bored or Generally Discontent in Life If you find yourself frequently bored or experiencing an overall discontentment in your life — this could indicate a disconnect with your authentic self. When you’re connected to your authentic self, you are connected with your purpose. Knowing your purpose provides you with the larger framework for your life, including things like what you do for work, where you live, and who you live with. It defines your long-term planning and goals, and it gives you a guidepost by which to make big decisions that will impact your life. Knowing your purpose also provides you with an in-the-moment framework for your life. When you know who you are, and you show up filled with your purpose in every moment, every small thing in your life takes on meaning. The interaction with the cashier at the store, the traffic on the way home from work, what you eat on your lunch break, the thoughts you entertain — all of these take on a new dimension of meaning. When this happens, life takes on a magical quality. Everyday things take on the quality of the extraordinary. It becomes impossible to feel bored or discontented. #2 - You’re Frequently Resentful Resentment is caused by doing something that you actually don’t want to do, or doing something with the expectation (often unspoken) of something in exchange. It’s the response of someone who is letting life control them, rather than taking control of their life. When you are not connected to your authentic self, you lack clarity and you become bereft of the ability to set healthy boundaries, including saying yes when it’s appropriate — and more importantly, saying no when it is appropriate.... Finish reading on Medium... Listening is one of those skills that most people take for granted. We think we know how to do it. In fact, we are so sure that we know how to listen that most of us never even consider taking a course or reading a book to learn how to listen.
My experience, however, is that very few people are good listeners… but those that are, they are revolutionizing their relationships, empowering people around them, and leaving a positive footprint in the world. Here is a simple breakdown of the three types of listening: Level One: Subjective (All about the listener) Subjective listening occurs when whatever is said is heard through the experiences of the listener and how they relate to the listener. Listening in this case, is based on the agenda or needs of the listener and rarely satisfies the speaker. Level one listening:
Level Two: Objective (neutral) Objective listening occurs when the listener is completely focused on the other person. There is no thought about how any of the information relates personally to the listener. This level is more effective than subjective listening, and is sometimes very effective, but often doesn’t get to the “heart” of the matter. Here is an example of level two listening:
Level Three: Intuitive or Active (all about the speaker) Intuitive listening occurs when the listener is using all sensory components and intuitively connecting to the real message of the speaker. The listener has all his or her attention on not only what the speaker says, but also how they say it (the tone of voice, energy level, feelings, etc.), including what ISN'T being said. This level is the most powerful form of listening, and when mastered, allows the listener the opportunity to deeply connect with the speaker. This level of listening is an act of love. When a person listens at a level three, you are helping the speaker explore what they are sharing and even understand it deeper themselves. This level of listening is the seed for emotional intimacy, understanding, connection, collaboration, and growth. It’s important to remember that it doesn’t matter if the listener's intuition is right or wrong – simply exploring it will open the conversation and build intimacy with the speaker. Here is an example of level three listening:
What type of listening do you use most often in your day-to-day life? How would practicing this skill impact your life? Interested in discovering how coaching could help you get extraordinary results in your life & work? Schedule a complimentary 30-minute consultation. |
AuthorMindy Amita AislingAuthenticity EmpowermentLife Coaching for Big-Hearted Overthinkers & Entreprenerds🐲Own Your Weird
🌎 Change Your World ⬇️ DIY Courses 👩🏻💻1:1 RemoteCoaching Fully Accredited ICF Certified Mindy Amita Aisling, is a professionally trained and board-certified leadership, authenticity, and entrepreneur coach.
Mindy exceeds all requirements set forth by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) for Master Coach certification. Mindy is also a licensed mediator, communications coach, and conflict resolution practicer. As a mediator, she has worked both in private practice and as a court appointment mediator at her local county courthouse. Through her innovative approach, she assists clients in examining their limiting beliefs, questioning their assumptions about how the world works, and releasing the notion that they are anything less than perfect. As a result, individuals who work with Mindy cultivate the ability to stand firm in their beliefs, live authentically and decisively, and discover an experience of life that is easy and graceful. In 2021, Mindy founded How to Be Human and Entreprenerd. These programs have enabled her to share her wisdom and knowledge with a broader audience in service of her vision of helping others live authentic lives This, in turn, has empowered more individuals to lead their most TRUE and COURAGEOUS lives. When she is not working, Mindy can be found playing outdoors in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, creating art, spending time with friends & family, or with her nose deep in a book. You can sign up for her newsletter here. Archives
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