You have the right -nay, the responsibility - to do, have, and be, exactly what you want. Your job in this lifetime is to do what’s best for you and your life, not what is best for everyone else. If you just read that and felt a rejection to that statement in your body, or you had a thought that had the word "selfish" in it, I encourage you to get really curious about yourself. If you feel a reaction to the idea of doing what is best for yourself instead of what is best for others, please read When Is It Okay To Be Selfish?
Here is the cold hard truth: if your energy is focused on pleasing those around you, or living by what "they" say is right/wrong or good/bad - you will never live into your full potential or happiness.
Believe me, I get it. I'm a recovering people pleaser myself, and I still struggle to recognize where and how it shows up in my life. Recovery from deeply programed ways of being is not something that you achieve once, it is something you cultivate as a life practice.
To me, the practice is cultivating empty spaces and a slow moving lifestyle so that I have the wherewithal to be present with my life and recognize when I'm operating from old wounds or belief systems. People pleasing doesn't often come up for me anymore... unless I allow myself to slip into not giving myself the things I need to nourish my body and soul. When I am unhealthy and unbalanced, my old programming resurfaces.
Below, I've shared an excise for bringing more awareness to where in your life you might have room to "clean out the cupboards", and shed things that aren't truly authentic to you. But, remember, the cornerstone of any personal growth and development or spiritual journey is self-care. (Click here to read the Basics of What You Need To Do a Personal Growth Journey.)
To bring clarity to where you are limiting yourself, do the following exercise. Remember - the more honest that you are with yourself, the more opportunity you have to transform your life!
Make a list of all the things you want, but have not taken action on because:
Every single human has a gap between where they are - and where they want to be. The size of this gap is created by lack of clarity, people pleasing, fear, or limiting beliefs. The first step to reducing the size of this gap is to discover how big this gap is, and what experiences are (currently) being lost to you because of this gap. You only get this one life - don't think for a single minute that you don't have the duty to make it exactly what you want it to be. You deserve to have every experience that you want want to have while you are in this human form on this beautiful planet.
The way that you want to look, the way that you want to love, the way that you want to play, the way that you want to work - it's all up to you. There are no limits.
Mindy Amita Aisling
Life Coaching for Big-Hearted Overthinkers & Entreprenerds
🐲Own Your Weird
🌎 Change Your World
⬇️ DIY Courses
Mindy Amita Aisling, is a professionally trained and board-certified leadership, authenticity, and entrepreneur coach.
Mindy exceeds all requirements set forth by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) for Master Coach certification.
Mindy is also a licensed mediator, communications coach, and conflict resolution practicer. As a mediator, she has worked both in private practice and as a court appointment mediator at her local county courthouse.
Through her innovative approach, she assists clients in examining their limiting beliefs, questioning their assumptions about how the world works, and releasing the notion that they are anything less than perfect. As a result, individuals who work with Mindy cultivate the ability to stand firm in their beliefs, live authentically and decisively, and discover an experience of life that is easy and graceful.
In 2021, Mindy founded How to Be Human and Entreprenerd. These programs have enabled her to share her wisdom and knowledge with a broader audience in service of her vision of helping others live authentic lives This, in turn, has empowered more individuals to lead their most TRUE and COURAGEOUS lives.
When she is not working, Mindy can be found playing outdoors in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, creating art, spending time with friends & family, or with her nose deep in a book.
You can sign up for her newsletter here.
ICF Certified Life Coach
Affordable Online Life Coaching