Powerful Positivity vs. Toxic Positivity
The Power of Positivity:Positivity, when harnessed in a healthy and authentic manner, has the potential to bring about significant benefits in our lives. Here are some key aspects of powerful positivity:
The Pitfalls of Toxic Positivity:Toxic positivity, on the other hand, involves an overemphasis on maintaining a positive facade at all costs. Here are some characteristics of toxic positivity to be mindful of:
Finding BalanceTo cultivate powerful positivity while avoiding toxic positivity, it is essential to strike a healthy balance. Here are some suggestions:
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Will Your Destiny Find You?There is a common storyline where the hero is simply going about their daily tasks and adventure finds them. Bilbo was sitting in his living room with Gandalf showed up with a tribe of dwarves, Cinderella was at home doing chores when a couple of mice and a fairy godmother sent her to the ball and changed her life and Jack was at the market doing some grocery shopping when he was offered magic beans. Simple stories that contribute to this idea that we don't have to do anything to make our dreams come true - that adventure and magic will find us sitting on our couch and sweep us away.
Related Coaching Blogs on Achieving Your Goals“If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.” What Can You Bring To The World?You have something to bring to the world that nobody else on the planet can offer! Each of us has unique talents, skills, and perspectives that we can offer to the world. Whether it's through our work, our relationships, or our personal pursuits, we all have the ability to make a positive impact on the world around us. The question is, what can you bring to the world? Here are a few ideas to consider: First, you must trust yourself. You must cultivate the ability to stand firmly in your truth and not be swayed. Second, you must care for yourself, and provide yourself with the necessary time, energy and self-care to nurture your unique inner-wisdom and ingenuity. Then, you can begin to look deeper at the following 5 areas and unearth what you can bring to the world. Your Talents and Skills One of the most obvious things you can bring to the world is your talents and skills. Whether you're an artist, a musician, a writer, a scientist, or a business leader, your unique abilities can contribute to the world in meaningful ways. By sharing your talents and skills with others, you can inspire, educate, and empower those around you. Your Perspective Each of us has a unique perspective that is shaped by our experiences, values, and beliefs. By sharing your perspective with others, you can broaden their understanding of the world and help them see things from a different point of view. Your perspective can also help to bridge cultural, social, and political divides, fostering greater understanding and empathy. Your Passion Passion is a powerful force that can inspire and motivate us to achieve great things. By pursuing your passions and sharing them with others, you can inspire them to do the same. Whether it's through volunteering, activism, or simply sharing your enthusiasm for a particular topic, your passion can have a positive impact on the world. Your Kindness In a world that can sometimes be harsh and unkind, your kindness can make a world of difference. By treating others with compassion, empathy, and respect, you can create a ripple effect of positivity that spreads far beyond your immediate circle. Your kindness can inspire others to do the same, creating a chain reaction of goodwill.
The 10 Stages of Personal Growth & DevelopmentPersonal growth is anything that positively transforms your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being and brings you closer to who you truly are. Personal growth isn't just about learning - it involves applying the knowledge and skills that you learn so that they become a part of who you are. A person's personal growth is a journey, and it is not always a linear one. When clients come to me, I assess where they are on their journey, whether they are at a particular stage for the first time, and what tools they need to move forward. There is no right or wrong, or good or bad to any of these stages. Certainly, some of them are more comfortable and enjoyable, but each stage holds value and purpose. These stages can be a description of where you are at overall in life, or a depiction of one particular area in your life. Sometimes, during our lives, we transform completely from head to toe, and other times, we may transform only a single area of our lives or a single role we play. Either way, the process is the same.
Stage 4 - Acceptance This is the stage where we come home to the truth that it's all an inside job. If we want something different in our lives, then we have to be different. We have to show up differently in every damn minute of our lives. In every situation, every action, and every conversation. We accept the truth that this will require us to change our thoughts and challenge our belief systems. We realize that we must let go of who we thought we'd be in order to become the person we are. This stage is often accompanied by feelings of grief, sorrow, awe and wonder. This stage is rich with epiphanies (my favorite part). Stage 5 - Clean-Up This is the stage where you have to clean up all of the messes you made up to this point in your life. This could mean repairing relationships, having difficult and often uncomfortable conversations, leaving a situation that isn't working for you, paying off debts, making amends, and taking accountability (yup 100%) for every fucking situation of your life. In my opinion, this is the most difficult stage of the journey because due to lags in seeing results, you are still experiencing the results of your old life even though you are making new choices. I've seen this stage last a few weeks to several years. It all depends on how deep your clean-up needs to be. This stage requires you to fiercely belief in yourself. It is also extremely valuable if you find another person (coach, partner, friend) who agrees to fiercely believe in you regardless of your outcomes. This stage can often be a moment-to-moment focus as you dig in and begin to reconstruct your life. Stage 5 is often accompanied by feelings of frustration, shame, relief and levity. Stage 6 - Self Discovery This stage of the journey is when you discover yourself (for the first time, or the 50th time). During our lives, we are constantly evolving and we have the opportunity to deepen into who we really are over and over again. This is one of the most beautiful truths of being human. Stage 6 is my favorite stage!!! This stage is so much fun! This is where you go on an inner investigation of yourself and your life. You discover who you really are, and what you really need to be satisfied when it all ends. When you are on your deathbed, will you feel complete, fulfilled and ready to transition? As Seth Abbot so beautifully says, "When my body won't hold me anymore, and it finally lets me free.. will I be ready?" This stage is often accompanied by feelings of belonging, peace, deep joy, acceptance, and inspiration. Stage 7 - New Habits & Routines During stage seven, you design habits and routines that are perfect for you. Not what someone else told you that you "should" do, but this is the opportunity to really experiment and discover what activities make you feel most like, you. What combination of things allows the authentic, courageous you to flow through the haze of this human body and human life bullshit? Those are the things that you need to be doing. For me, it includes things like massive amounts of time alone, working out, nature, writing, deep conversations investigating the truth with other people in my tribe, great sex, tons of one-on-one emotional intimacy with the other humans in my life. These things bring out the most me in my life. New habits and routines are going to form the "launching pad" for the change that you're calling into your life. This stage is often accompanied by feelings of progress, hope, vision, and the feeling of being alive. Stage 8 - Fortitude and Tenacity Now that you know what you need, you must call upon your inner fortitude and tenacity because change is fucking hard! It's so god-damn hard, and it takes a 100% commitment to yourself to achieve the things you want to achieve and become the person that you want to become. It takes fortitude, tenacity, courage, discipline, experimentation, curiosity, and believing in yourself. This is the stage where you are, literally, pulling your future self into existence. So, yeah, it is going to take some grit. This grit already exists inside you, even if you never activated it before. Every human has it naturally built in, it only needs to be activated. This stage is often accompanied by feelings of power, vigor and definitiveness. Stage 9 - Courageous Action Now that you are clear on who you are now (at this stage in your life), it is time to go out into the world and take courageous action to create the life you want. In stage 8, you pulled your future self into existence. Now it's time to pull your future life (the life that you've been dreaming about) into existence. This sage requires support, brainstorming, balance, connection to self, intention, and presence. Stage 10 - Resilience Stage 10 is where you build your resilience. This requires a series of failures and successes, each time retaining clarity, focus and passion for where you are going and the person that you are becoming. This is the stage where you go out into the world, and you get knocked the fuck down, and then you get up with dirt on your hands and your needs, and you square your shoulders and you go back out into the world again to accomplish your vision. This stage requires accurate self-assessment, the ability to pivot quickly, self-trust, and deep connection to your inner self, When we choose to lead bold, authentic lives not only do we find more joy and purpose, but we have a larger positive impact on the world. It is our purpose to live with purpose. Each of us has a unique, innate thing that drives us and makes us who we are. This is the space that we, as humans, need to cultivate to lead us in our lives. When we commit to living our lives authentically, they become an adventure, a game, filled with strategy and investigation - and it is so much fun. The data is clear that speaking with an unbiased professional who is trained to ask deep questions to unlock your inner wisdom has the power to transform your life. We all need support on this human journey. It would be a f*cking honor to support you in your journey. Seriously, let’s chat about this more. Together, during your free, no-obligation coaching session with can uncover where you are at in your journey, and what skills and tools you need to get to the next stage. In an introductory session, my goal is for both of us to decide if we are the right fit for working together, and if by building a strong coach-client relationship we can bring forward the truest, most beautiful, YOU. The 10 Stages of Personal Growth & DevelopmentListen to me talk more about this topic, here: Personal growth is anything that positively transforms your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being and brings you closer to who you truly are. Personal growth isn't just about learning - it involves applying the knowledge and skills that you learn so that they become a part of who you are. For a downloadable PDF of the chart below, click here. The Personal Growth TimelineYou Are Stronger Than You KnowLife can be challenging, and it's easy to feel overwhelmed and discouraged at times. However, it's important to remember that you are stronger than you know. No matter what challenges you may face, you have the inner strength and resilience to overcome them. Here are a few reasons why you are stronger than you know: You've Overcome Challenges Before Think back to a time when you faced a difficult challenge and overcame it. Maybe it was a health crisis, a difficult relationship, or a professional setback. Whatever it was, you made it through. Reminding yourself of your past successes can give you the confidence to face new challenges with greater resilience and determination. You Have Support No one has to face challenges alone. Whether it's friends, family, or a supportive community, you have people in your life who care about you and want to help you succeed. Don't be afraid to reach out for support when you need it. By leaning on others, you can draw on their strength and guidance to help you overcome whatever challenges you may face. You Can Learn and Grow Challenges can be opportunities for learning and growth. By facing difficult situations, you can develop new skills, gain greater insight into your strengths and weaknesses, and become more resilient. Even if you don't succeed at first, each challenge can be a chance to learn and improve, making you stronger and more capable in the long run. You Have Inner Strength Strength comes in many forms, and you have a wellspring of inner strength that you may not even be aware of. Whether it's a strong sense of purpose, an unshakable faith, or a deep well of determination, you have the inner resources to face whatever challenges come your way. By tapping into your inner strength, you can overcome even the most difficult obstacles and emerge stronger and more resilient than ever before.
In any romantic relationship, it is essential for both individuals to maintain a healthy level of independence and personal space. However, when one partner becomes excessively clingy or dependent, it can be a major red flag that warrants attention and consideration. While it is important to recognize that occasional neediness is natural, an overly clingy partner can pose challenges to the overall health and longevity of the relationship.
Defining Clinginess: Clinginess in a relationship refers to a pattern of behavior where one partner becomes excessively needy, requiring constant attention, reassurance, and validation. This behavior often stems from a place of insecurity, fear of abandonment, or a desire to control the other person. Clingy partners often have difficulty being alone or managing their emotions without the constant presence of their significant other. The Red Flags:
Addressing Clinginess: If you find yourself in a relationship with a clingy partner, it is crucial to address the issue proactively and compassionately. Here are a few steps to consider:
While occasional neediness is natural in relationships, excessive clinginess can be a red flag that should not be ignored. It is essential to foster a healthy balance of independence and togetherness in any romantic relationship. Embracing your neurodivergent self can be a challenging journey. Navigating the expectations of your partner and family while staying true to who you are requires both self-compassion and effective communication. Here's how to stop beating yourself up and foster acceptance from those around you:
Understanding Neurodivergence Neurodivergence encompasses a range of neurological differences, including conditions such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and more. These differences contribute to unique perspectives, strengths, and challenges that set you apart from neurotypical individuals. Embracing your neurodivergent self means recognizing that your brain is wired differently, and this is not a flaw but a fundamental part of who you are. The pressure to conform to societal norms and family expectations can be overwhelming, especially when your neurodivergence doesn't align with these preconceived notions. It's important to acknowledge that trying to be someone you're not only leads to emotional distress and can hinder your personal growth and well-being. Here's some tips to navigating your neurodivergence in relationships: 1. Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that your neurodivergence is not a choice, but an inherent aspect of your identity. Instead of viewing your differences as limitations, focus on your unique strengths and perspectives. Celebrate your accomplishments and the progress you've made on your personal journey. 2. Know Yourself: Take the time to get to know yourself, and what makes your brain different. Many neurodivergent individuals have participated in so much masking throughout their lives that they are unable to identify who they really, authentically are. You can investigate this on your own, or get support from a coach. 3. Educate and Communicate: Sometimes, lack of understanding can lead to misconceptions about neurodivergence. Take the initiative to educate your partner and family about your specific condition. Share resources, books, or articles that can help them gain insight into your experiences. Open, honest, and patient communication can pave the way for greater understanding and acceptance. 4. Set Boundaries: Neurodivergence might mean that you have different needs and sensitivities. It's crucial to set clear boundaries with your partner and family to ensure that your well-being is prioritized. Establishing these boundaries helps them understand your limits and demonstrates your commitment to self-care. 5. Emphasize Shared Experiences: Find common ground. While your neurodivergence might set you apart in certain ways, there are likely areas of shared experiences and interests. Emphasize these connections to help your partner and family understand that your differences don't define your entire relationship. 6. Seek Professional Support: If the struggle to gain acceptance becomes overwhelming, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor. Professional support can provide you with coping strategies, communication skills, and tools to navigate difficult conversations and emotions. Fostering Acceptance in Others: Embracing your neurodivergent self and seeking acceptance from your partner and family is a multifaceted journey that requires patience, understanding, and communication. Remember, you deserve to be radically accepted and celebrated for exactly who you are (in all your weird and wonderful ways), so don't settle for anything less then that in your relationships. While it may take time, the effort you invest in fostering understanding and acceptance will ultimately lead to stronger, more connected relationships and a deeper sense of self-worth. Here's some tips to take on your journey: 1. Lead by Example: Be the embodiment of self-acceptance. Demonstrating confidence in who you are sends a powerful message to those around you. When you authentically embrace your neurodivergent self, others are more likely to follow suit. 2. Educate Them: Provide your partner and family with resources that help them understand neurodivergence better. Encourage them to learn about the various ways neurodivergence can manifest and the positive aspects that come with it. 3. Share Your Feelings: Share your feelings openly, expressing how their acceptance would positively impact your well-being. Help them understand that their support isn't just important—it's transformative for your relationship and personal growth. 4. Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate the progress you make on your journey. When your partner and family witness your growth and accomplishments, they might gain a deeper appreciation for the strength it takes to be true to yourself. Start Living With IntentionPersonal growth and development is the transition from experiencing life happening to you to experiencing a life created by you. Living with intention requires the practice of paying attention. Paying attention means that you are actively living your life on purpose. It means that every thought and every action, no matter how small, is a choice. This means that you can no longer pretend to be asleep, it means that you become conscious. What you eat, what you say, the habits you make - it is all done with awareness of the choice. This level of living requires the knowledge and awareness that you are 'at the helm' of your life, fully responsible for where you are and where you go. One of the most powerful ways we can do this is by taking control of our time, and continually increasing moments that we are living our life on purpose. In a recent study commissioned by Marks and Spence, a whopping 96% of people surveyed reported that they were living their life on autopilot. In my life, I use the terms “default self” and “intentional self”. My default self is the person that operates from her base stories, fears, and general unconsciousness. This is my “programmed” self, who lives by the rules and values defined by her family, peers, and culture. In contrast, my intentional self is the person that operates from her chosen stories, courage, and intentional consciousness. My "deliberate" self lives by her own rules, defined by her alone. As a coach, I’ve worked with thousands of clients. When people begin working with me, I would say about 60 - 70% of them don’t yet know their intentional selves, and they are strictly living life as they have been pre-programmed to do. The other 30-40% know their intentional self, and are in the process of learning how to live a greater percentage of their life, and time, in alignment with that deliberate self. Here are some examples of how these two selves might show up in your life Living With Intention: Default Self vs. Intentional SelfBelow you’ll find a free download that will allow you to do an audit on your time (and life). You can also download this worksheet as a Word Document or Google Doc. Here is how to use this spreadsheet: #1 – Fill in how you would LIKE to spend your time. Complete the chart from your intentional self, and design your time in alignment with your values, desires, and joys. #2 - Track how you spend your time for a week or two. I suggest doing this at lunch, and again at nighttime before you go to bed so that you don’t forget what happened in your day. If you can track your activities in real-time during your day, even better. The more accurate your tracking is the more opportunity for insights and transformation. #3 – Make necessary adjustments in your life. I suggest doing this audit at least twice a year. I like to do it quarterly to keep myself on track, and assure that I am living the life that I want to live. If you're interested in discovering your 'intentional self' and building habits and routines that support that self in being 'at the helm', schedule a free coaching consultation and let's discover if we're a good fit for working together. Time Analysis WorksheetMany people think of values as guidelines for living life or conducting business. Your values are what you believe are important in life. They serve as a filter for the decisions you make and the things you do. You can use values to set goals, make decisions, and live a more fulfilling life. When it comes to business, your values can guide you in choosing the right clients, suppliers, and partners. They can also help you build a positive company culture. Let’s take a closer look at why values are so important. Why Values Are Important Your values are important because they are a part of who you are. They shape your thoughts, emotions, and actions. You use them to make decisions about what is right and wrong, what is acceptable and unacceptable. When you live according to your values, you feel good about yourself and the things you do. You have a sense of purpose and direction. Values can also give you a sense of belonging and community. When you share your values with others, you develop relationships with like-minded people. In business, your values can guide you in making decisions about the products or services you offer, the pricing of your products or services, how you treat your employees and customers, and other aspects of running a business. When you live by your values in business, you attract clients who share your values. This creates loyalty and repeat business. Your values also help you build lasting relationships with suppliers, vendors, and other partners. How to Develop Your Values If you’re not sure what your personal or professional values are, there are a few exercises you can do to develop them. One exercise is to think about times when you’ve felt really good about yourself or what you’ve done. What were the circumstances? What did you do or say? What did others do or say? This will give you some clues about what might be important to you. Another exercise is to imagine yourself 10 years from now looking back on your life or career. What would make you proud? What would make you happy? This will help you identify the areas of your life that are most important to you. You can also take an inventory of the people who are important to you—family members, friends, co-workers—and think about the qualities they have that make them valuable to you. Do they have similar qualities? This can give you some insight into what qualities might be important to you as well. List of Values If you're still stuck, choose 10 words that resonate with you from the list below, then cut it down to 5, then cut it down to 3. This might be difficult - but go with your gut!
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AuthorMindy Amita AislingAuthenticity EmpowermentLife Coaching for Big-Hearted Overthinkers & Entreprenerds🐲Own Your Weird
🌎 Change Your World ⬇️ DIY Courses 👩🏻💻1:1 RemoteCoaching Fully Accredited ICF Certified Mindy Amita Aisling, is a professionally trained and board-certified leadership, authenticity, and entrepreneur coach.
Mindy exceeds all requirements set forth by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) for Master Coach certification. Mindy is also a licensed mediator, communications coach, and conflict resolution practicer. As a mediator, she has worked both in private practice and as a court appointment mediator at her local county courthouse. Through her innovative approach, she assists clients in examining their limiting beliefs, questioning their assumptions about how the world works, and releasing the notion that they are anything less than perfect. As a result, individuals who work with Mindy cultivate the ability to stand firm in their beliefs, live authentically and decisively, and discover an experience of life that is easy and graceful. In 2021, Mindy founded How to Be Human and Entreprenerd. These programs have enabled her to share her wisdom and knowledge with a broader audience in service of her vision of helping others live authentic lives This, in turn, has empowered more individuals to lead their most TRUE and COURAGEOUS lives. When she is not working, Mindy can be found playing outdoors in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, creating art, spending time with friends & family, or with her nose deep in a book. You can sign up for her newsletter here. Archives
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