We all procrastinate from time to time, but it can be an incredibly damaging habit. If you’re struggling to stay on task and get things done, here are some quick strategies for beating procrastination.
Set a Timer One of the biggest problems with procrastination is that it can be really hard to break out of the cycle of procrastination once you start. That’s why setting a timer can be a great way to stay focused and motivated. Choose a realistic amount of time for yourself, such as 20 minutes or an hour, and then set the timer and work until it goes off. Focusing on smaller chunks of time like this can help you stay productive without feeling overwhelmed. Break Tasks into Smaller Pieces Sometimes tasks can seem overwhelming when we look at them in their entirety. To make them feel more manageable, try breaking them down into smaller pieces that are easier to tackle one at a time. This will make it easier for you to prioritize what needs to get done first so that you don’t fall into the trap of feeling paralyzed by too many choices. Reward Yourself Rewards aren’t just for kids! Taking breaks throughout your day or rewarding yourself with something special after completing a big task can help you stay motivated and on track. Just remember not to let your rewards become excessive - they should just be enough to boost your motivation levels back up if they start flagging. Create Accountability Accountability is key when it comes to avoiding procrastination – if no one else holds us accountable for our actions, then we tend to take the easy way out and put off our tasks. That’s why it’s important to create some external accountability for yourself – whether it’s telling a friend about your goals or joining an online group that encourages each other to stay on track – having someone else who knows about your plans can help keep you focused and motivated. No matter how much we procrastinate, there are always ways we can beat it once and for all! By setting timers, breaking tasks down into smaller pieces, rewarding ourselves, and creating accountability, we can combat our tendency towards procrastination and reach our goals faster than ever before! Start putting these strategies into action today so that tomorrow you can reap the rewards.
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Mindy Amita Aisling, MCC, is a professionally trained and board-certified life, leadership, and entrepreneur coach. Mindy exceeds all requirements set forth by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) for Master Coach certification. Through her innovative approach, she assists clients in examining their limiting beliefs, questioning their assumptions about how the world works, and releasing the notion that they are anything less than perfect. As a result, individuals who work with Mindy cultivate the ability to stand firm in their beliefs, live authentically and decisively, and discover an experience of life that is easy and graceful. Mindy founded How to Be Human: Vital Skills for an Authentic Life and Entreprenerd: A Leadership & Small Business Community for Nerds Around the World. These programs have enabled her to share her wisdom and knowledge with a broader audience in service of her vision of helping others live authentic lives This, in turn, has empowered more individuals to lead their most TRUE and COURAGEOUS lives.
![]() Related Blogs: The Science of Gratitude The Art of Having A Conversation With Someone Who Holds a Different View 5 Wellness Apps You Wish You'd Known About Sooner Happy March, my friends; 'tis the month associated with leprechauns and luck. This got me thinking about luck, and the more I considered it, the more my curiosity grew. What is luck? How is it created in our lives (beyond capturing a leprechaun)? 🍀 I started my investigation by looking up the word luck to ensure I knew the definition. Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines luck as: "a force that brings good fortune or adversity." Hmmmm. I have experienced this force in my life - both positively and negatively. There was a time that I didn't believe in "luck." I thought the idea of an invisible force that impacted our lives smacked of religious tripe. I was born with a scientific, logical mind that demands proof for my belief systems. However, over the decades of having this human experience, I have gathered significant data that something else is happening here - on this planet, in our souls, and our lives. There is no logic to it, and it can't be explained. I certainly don't have any words to describe it accurately. The closest I've gotten is "chaos" and "magic," but I supposed that you could call it luck (given the definition outlined above) Here is what I've learned about this invisible force: You can't control it, but you can dance with it. So first, let yourself off the hook for influencing everything in your life. While I love teachings like The Secret and Abraham Hicks, my experience is that they are incomplete. They are missing two critical pieces of wisdom & knowledge. The first missing piece is the power of action, and the second is the dance with luck. There is a force that brings boons and tragedy, and we (as humans) have some influence, but we don't control it. Therefore, we must learn to dance with it. The Dance With Bad Luck Bad luck is challenging to dance with. When tragedy strikes our lives or something doesn't go as planned, it is normal to experience feelings associated with suffering (anger, sadness, frustration, resentment, or confusion). This is where the dance begins. The way to move beyond the feelings is to feel them- but not think about them. This is the trickiest dance step. Our minds want to ruminate on the suffering, relive the experience, or imagine it repeatedly, adding in ways it could have been different. This is not helpful. Quiet the mind, feel the feelings, release the feelings, and get back into the game of life. The Dance with Good Luck The dance with good luck is much more fun, but strangely, it can be just as challenging. The challenge in this dance is self-confidence. To play with the good luck in the Universe, you must believe in yourself. You must know that you are endlessly powerful and deserving. When you cultivate an environment and habits that support you in knowing your worth, you can increase the "good luck" in your life by creating ever-growing levels of presence that alert you to "clues" in your life. Your attention will be drawn to people, things, and situations, giving you information about unlikely actions to take. As you develop your intuition and trust in yourself, you will notice a dramatic improvement in your decision-making, timing, and results. Your work and life can become an enjoyable and continuous treasure hunt with unlimited treasures. You are a powerful creator, but you live in a world with multiple forces at work, not just your own. Understanding this and establishing both self-compassion and self-empowerment is the key to dancing with luck in your life. Cha Cha Cha. Enjoy this collection of quotes on luck and life. Did I miss your favorite? Let me know in the comments below! ![]() Related Blogs: The Hands-Down Best Quotes About Self-Care 6 of the Best Quotes on Love How To Be Human Comics ![]() Personal growth and development is the transition from experiencing life happening to you to experiencing a life created by you. One of the most powerful ways we can do this is by taking control of our time, and continually increasing moments that we are living our life on purpose. In a recent study commissioned by Marks and Spence, a whopping 96% of people surveyed reported that they were living their life on autopilot. Before we dive into the personal growth DIY exercises on this worksheet, we must define what living by default, or autopilot, means. In my life, I use the terms “default self” and “intentional self”. My default self is the person that operates from her base stories, fears, and general unconsciousness. This is my “programmed” self, who lives by the rules and values defined by her family, peers, and culture. In contrast, my intentional self is the person that operates from her chosen stories, courage, and intentional consciousness. This is my “deliberate” self, who lives by the rules and values defined by her and her alone. As a coach, I’ve worked with thousands of clients. When people begin working with me, I would say about 60 - 70% of them don’t yet know their intentional selves, and they are strictly living life as they have been pre-programmed to do. The other 30-40% know their intentional self, and are in the process of learning how to live a greater percentage of their life, and time, in alignment with that deliberate self. Here are some examples of how these two selves might show up in your life Below you’ll find a free download that will allow you to do an audit on your time (and life). You can also download this worksheet as a Word Document or Google Doc. Here is how to use this spreadsheet: #1 – Fill in how you would LIKE to spend your time. Complete the chart from your intentional self, and design your time in alignment with your values, desires, and joys. #2 - Track how you spend your time for a week or two. I suggest doing this at lunch, and again at nighttime before you go to bed so that you don’t forget what happened in your day. If you can track your activities in real-time during your day, even better. The more accurate your tracking is the more opportunity for insights and transformation. #3 – Make necessary adjustments in your life. I suggest doing this audit at least twice a year. I like to do it quarterly to keep myself on track, and assure that I am living the life that I want to live. Questions or comments? Feel free to reach out to me at mindy@mindyaisling.com My work as a Life Coach focuses on How To Be Human, the vital skills that we all need to learn in order to lead authentic, fulfilling lives. Of course, LOVE is one of the core needs and most vibrant experiences of Being Human ... but what is love, exactly? The 5 quotes below from my fellow epiphany hunters shed some light on what love might be, + I've included one of my own quotes on the experience of love. Victoria Erickson is a poet, author and writing coach. You can learn more about her work on her website, and make sure to follow her on Facebook & Instagram. Jeff Brown is an author and coach. You can learn more about his work on his website, and make sure to follow up on Facebook and Instagram. Paulo Coelho is an author and alchemist. You can learn more about his work on his website, and make sure to follow him on Facebook and Instagram. Glennon Doyle is an author and visionary. You can learn more about her work on her website, and make sure to follow her on Facebook and Instagram, and check out her podcast, We Can Do Hard Things. Brene Brown is an author and research professor. You can learn more about her work on her website, follow up on Facebook and Instagram, and check out here podcast Unlocking Us. This week brings February into view on our calendars. Sweet, sweet, February - the month that is known for pink hearts, milk chocolate, and over-priced roses. To tell you the truth, I’ve never been a big fan of the traditional, commercial celebration of Valentine's Day. It always seemed a bit silly to my quirky neurodiverse brain: why would we celebrate love more on one day than any other? Why would we put huge intentions of love on a single day, rather than consistent intentions of love every single day? ![]() For many years now, instead of following the traditions designed by a capitalist society bent on monetizing love, I have made my own rules for February. I’ve seized this month as an annual check-in with myself, with the intent of discovering the areas within myself, and my life, where I can expand my capacity for experiencing love. I've been engaging in this practice for years, and I can attest to the fact that it has positively improved my life experience. Like all personal growth and development, it is an ongoing pursuit and a never-ending practice. For this, I am grateful. I love the “layers of my onion”, and the self-discovery and personal expansion that I enjoy day after day, month after month, and year after year. It is a becoming. Evermore becoming who I am at my core as I shed the layers (thoughts, habits, belief systems) that prevent my full expression of self. This year, in service of supporting our collective expansion, I thought I’d share some of the practices that I’ve cultivated to expand my capacity to experience love. ![]() #1 - Update Self -Talk I have found that the quality of my self-talk has a drastic impact on my life. Therefore, when I look at ways to increase my experience of love in my day-to-day life, updating my self talk is low-hanging fruit. Updating my self-talk helps in two ways - first, it increases my self-love and second, it removes barriers to experiencing love from others. I've created a worksheet that outlines my process, and I hope that you'll also find it useful. You can download it for free here. ![]() #2 - Remove Barriers The second thing that I do is identify areas for further healing. Rumi said, "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." I find this statement to hold great truth, as it aligns with my direct experience. As we go through life, we encounter trauma, betrayal, abandonment & suffering. There is no getting around this, but it is possible to integrate our pain so that it doesn't become a roadblock to what we want in life. Instead of allowing our pain to stagnant and harden us, we can use it to strengthen and expand ourselves. This allows for more love (and joy and wonder) to enter into our beings. To do this, we first have to identify where we have allowed past betrayals to harden within us. Then we must create a safe space for healing, and get the support we need on our healing journey. Finally, we must do the work to heal ourselves, and find the gifts that are in the darkness. ![]() #3 - Define Edges The third practice that I engage in to expand my capacity for love is defining my edges. When I am unconsciously people-pleasing, accommodating, meek, unobtrusive, or submissive - I merge the boundaries between who I am and who others are. I lose my ability to have clarity around my needs and wants, I mismanage my time, and I limit my experiences of love and joy. To experience more love in my life, I must define my edges, hone my perimeter, and know what is me and what is other. If you're an empath like I am, this can be particularly important and double as challenging. At the start of this exploration, there is defining work for us to discover who we are (sign up for my newsletter to be notified of the next release of my DIY Coaching How To Be Human course which will delve into this topic). After we've done the deep work, it is a matter of reminding ourselves who we are, so that this crazy, busy world doesn't jumble and bewilder us. I do this through meditation. Expanding my capacity to experience love includes dedicating time to daily reestablishing my personal boundaries. In this way, I can see and appreciate others - loving them more, and I can honestly and authentically reveal my full self to others, and allow myself to be fully loved and appreciated. ![]() #4 - Raise the Stakes The fourth practice that I have cultivated to expand my capacity for love is my favorite - for it is the most juicy and delicious. It also requires the most courage and grit. The choice to intentionally experience more love means that we have to take action in the relationships that matter the most to us. We have to show up. This means first and foremost that we have to slow down and take time for our relationships. The feelings of closeness, acceptance, safety, connection, and love, I would call "emotional intimacy", and these feeling take courage to invite into your relationships. In American culture, the word "intimacy" has been given very narrow connotations. When people hear the word they think that it has something to do with sex, or the marriage/partnership relationship. Nothing could be further than the truth. A healthy life includes emotional intimacy with your friends, your parents, and your children. These emotionally intimate relationships produce feelings of wholeness, safety, and meaning. If you are in a primary sexual relationship, developing emotional intimacy with others deepens the intimacy in your primary relationship. This is important to note, because there is an erroneous belief system that promotes the idea that intimacy is limited and therefore if you give it to one person, there is less for other relationships in your life. The opposite is true. The more you develop emotional intimacy, the more it grows in ALL areas of your life. For me, my friends, I know beyond a doubt that I want to experience as much love as possible in my human lifetime. Just like every other human on this planet, I struggle to be open to all the areas in my life where love is possible, and I experience fear when deepening love in the relationships that matter most to me. The practice of intentionally cultivating our ability to experience love has many benefits, here are some of the results of this practice that have had the largest positive impact on my life:
I invite you to share with me your unique experiences of expanding your capacity to feel more love by commenting on this blog, or sending me an email. I adore talking about being human, and I’d love to hear from you. Most of all, I hope that you can confidently say at the end of 2023 that you experienced more love this year than any other previous year of your life. Because, my friends, that would be truly incredible. Life coaching is all about the questions. Use these questions to unlock the wisdom inside of you! Mindy Amita Aisling, MCC, is a professionally trained and board-certified life, leadership, and entrepreneur coach. Mindy exceeds all requirements set forth by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) for Master Coach certification. Through her innovative approach, she assists clients in examining their limiting beliefs, questioning their assumptions about how the world works, and releasing the notion that they are anything less than perfect. As a result, individuals who work with Mindy cultivate the ability to stand firm in their beliefs, live authentically and decisively, and discover an experience of life that is easy and graceful. Bad days are inevitable. They can be caused by stress, exhaustion, or simply having a run of unfortunate luck. No matter the cause, it's important to remember that you can take steps to turn your day around and regain a positive outlook. Here are a few tips to help you do just that. Take Time For Yourself When you're having a bad day, it's important to take some time out of your schedule to focus on yourself and what you need in that moment. This could mean taking a break from your work, going for a walk outside, or even just curling up on the couch with your favorite movie or TV show. Taking some time away to give yourself some space will help ease any anxieties and allow you to shift your perspective on the situation. Talk To A Friend It's always helpful to talk through whatever is bothering you with someone else. Talking about how we are feeling can often help us process our emotions and gain clarity on the situation at hand. If you don't want to talk about it in person, there are also plenty of online support systems available if needed. Reaching out for help doesn't make us weak; instead it shows our strength in recognizing when we need additional support in order to move forward more positively. Focus On The Positives It can be easy to get bogged down in all the negative aspects of our lives when things aren’t going as well as we'd hoped they would. However, it’s incredibly important not to let those negative thoughts take over! Make sure that when things seem tough, you take the time focus on all the positives present in your life - no matter how small they may seem! Doing this will not only help put things into perspective but will also provide much-needed motivation and strength while tackling difficult tasks throughout the day. Bad days happen - but they don’t have to last forever! It’s okay if things don’t go as planned or if something unexpected happens; take comfort in knowing that there are ways for us to turn around our days no matter what curveballs life throws at us! Remember these tips next time you’re having a bad day so that you can start regaining control over situations and get back into an optimistic mindset once again! Over the past few weeks, many of my clients have requested more information on support and resources for ADHD and Autism. I've compiled a list of notes and recommendations below. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out to me (mindy@mindyaisling.com). This is a long blog, so feel free to skip to the header of the topics that you're interested in. MedicationMedication is a tool that about 70-90% of people with ADHD benefit from. ADHD medication helps people to focus, sustain attention, reduce hyperactivity, and reduce impulsivity, but may not always help with organization, procrastination, and time management challenges. People with ADHD often find that one medication works for them better than others, even within the same class of medication. Even trying short vs. long term medication can make a big difference, so work with your doctor to find the right fit for you. Some people with ADHD find that medication doesn't work well for them at all. This happens sometimes and it does not mean that the person doesn't have ADHD. PsychotherapySome psychotherapists specialize in helping people develop and implement strategies for managing ADHD as well as help them reframe some of the negative messaging they may have received about their ADHD (for example: that they're lazy or unmotivated). In Bend, Oregon: CoachingCoaching can often be an effective tool to help break down tasks and goals into manageable, actionable steps and then hold the client accountable for the actions they want to take. Coaching can also provide the necessary structure for managing weekly tasks, and furnish an understanding listener during the times when frustration arises. (You can schedule a free consultation with me here) Behavioral Support & Strategy (ADHD)Exercise helps to reduce ADHD symptoms. It is important to distinguish between exercise for fitness and exercise for focus. Fitness usually involves a more intense period of exercise, while exercising for helping focus with ADHD can be 5 - 10 minutes of activity. It is best to work with your brain, rather than against it. This means that when you are having rouble focusing, it is better to just take a break than to force yourself to continue to try. Alternatively, if you are in a hyper-focus mode, it's okay to skip breaks as long as you plan a longer period of rest and recovery when the hyper-focus is complete. People with ADHD benefit from being able to control the level of stimulation in their environment. This could mean being able to have a quiet, distraction-free space when you need it - or noise when you need it. This might mean wearing headphones or ear plugs in certain environments - or on different occasions. Changing environments can also be really helpful. Moving from your desk to the couch or from your office to a coffee shop can have a positive impact. People with ADHD often have the experience where if something is out of sight it is out of mind. This means that they tend to do better when they place important items (like planners and pillboxes) where they will regularly see it. It is very common for people with ADHD to get interested in a lot of different hobbies. The downside of this is that it can be expensive. Often local 'buy nothing' or 'trade' groups work great for people with ADHD. People with ADHD find it useful to create a 'launch pad'. This is a place where all of your important things go before you leave the house. Keys, wallet, mail that needs to be mailed, canvas grocery bags - anything you need to complete out of the home tasks. Calendars can be hard to manage, but they can also be helpful. Calendars are most helpful when there is a place to offload the "to do" items and other things that need to get done, and when necessary transition and recovery time are scheduled into the day. For example, you might have a meeting from 10am - 11am, but might also need to schedule from 11am - 11:30am to recover and refocus. Often people with ADHD can 'gloss over' details of their day. For example, if you need to be somewhere at 10am, you need to leave the house at 9:45, which means you have to start getting ready to leave the house at 9:30 (or earlier). When you schedule all of these tiny parts of your day into your planner, you have less of a tendency to overcommit, be late, or end the day being exhausted and overwhelmed. This is especially true for someone who is gifted with both ADHD and Autism. One strategy for helping people stay on task is called "body doubling" which means having a supportive and nonjudgmental person work with you to provide you with reminders when needed. (See below for free online body doubling support) Reframing Differences (ADHD)People with ADHD often have trouble consistently using and applying strategies that involve many of the self-regulation skills they struggle with. For some people medication helps, for others, environmental changes help - the key is finding your unique recipe and then having compassion for the ebb and flow of its use. Some people with ADHD will get down on themselves for not "finishing" things, like housework or hobbies. It's important and helpful to reflect on what it means to be "finished". Often we think of being finished as having some kind of final product or mastery, but that's a very narrow definition that doesn't serve people well. It is entirely reasonable (and wise) to acknowledge that some tasks and activities are so challenging that they are not worth the effort. For example, some people with ADHD will hire housekeepers, or accept that their house will never be as tidy as the 'expected' or the 'norm'. It can be important & healthy to set limits on actives with friends and family. It can be really challenging to reframe traits associated with ADHD and Autism as not a personal failing. You are okay just the way you are, and it is even okay to struggle in accepting that statement. Websites (ADHD & Autism)
Books (ADHD & Autism)Apps (ADHD & Autism)Podcasts (ADHD & Autism)Social Media (ADHD & Autism)
Facebook Groups: MeetUp Groups (Online/Remote) Reframing Differences (Autism)Many people have stereotypes in their minds about how an Autistic person looks and behaves. They might say things like, "You don't look Autistic" or "You make eye contact so you can't be Autistic" or "Maybe you're Autistic, but it must not be that bad because you're able to work." These kinds of comments are incorrect and based on outdated ideas. Many Autistic people engage in repetitive behaviors known as "stimming." These behaviors are an important means of self-regulation and therefore shouldn't be reduced, eliminated, or altered (unless they are harmful). Many Autistic people (particularly undiagnosed/late diagnosed) channeled this into nail biting, cheek biting, fidgeting, or holding their hands in fists. Consistent routines and repetitiveness in general help to establish a level of predictability in a social world that feels very unpredictable. Such routines also shouldn't be reduced, eliminated are altered (unless they are harmful). Autistic people tend to have more focused and intense interests than neurotypical people. Research suggests that engaging in these interests is positively associated with wellbeing and helps Autistic people develop emotional awareness, social skills, and coping skills. Accordingly, they are encouraged to pursue these interests, even if other people find them "too intense". There is nothing wrong with needing support for tasks that other people can do without support. Our culture is highly individualistic, but other cultures highly value interdependence and relying on each other. What level of help is "socially acceptable" is highly arbitrary and varies based on cultural standards. Managing the Sensory EnvironmentAutistic people have a harder time filtering out distracting sensory information. Accordingly, they often benefit from tools like noise-canceling headphones, ear plugs, and other devices to help the regulate their sensory experience. For example, playing loud music through headphones while grocery shopping to help drown out some of the other overwhelming sounds might be beneficial. Other tools that may be helpful are weighted blanket, weighted clothes or sensory toys. Because the sensory environment is so important, it is important to be thoughtful about your physical space. The may mean keeping sensory and self-care tools nearby, reducing clutter, dimming lights, using rugs or insulation to reduce noice, and having help keeping the space that way. It is perfectly reasonable to be thoughtful and discerning about clothing. There is nothing wrong with dressing in a way that allows you to be comfortable. Reducing the decision around clothing can also be very helpful. For example, if you find clothes that feel comfortable, purchasing multiples of those clothes and wearing them constantly is totally reasonable. Social Engagement (Autism)One thing Autistic people are taught by society is that they should endure discomfort for the comfort of others. For example, they should make eye contact even though it makes them uncomfortable. This makes it mush more challenging for Autistic people to know when they're feeling discomfort (as they have been taught to ignore and discard it) and set boundaries that they are actually comfortable with. Learning to monitor discomfort, set boundaries and conceive their own boundaries as acceptable is an import goal for Autistic people. Many Autistic people benefit from preparing for new situations by researching them ahead of time and getting a very explicit and clear understanding of expectations. For example, if you're going to a new restaurant, it is often helpful to look at the restaurant's website, seeing how the outside of the building looks on Google Street View, reviewing the menu, and knowing ahead of time where the bathrooms are. Autistic people often need more scripting and pre-planning for social events than neurotypical people. This means that they benefit form more time to prepare for events, which is a normal and reasonable thing. Autistic people tend to do better with digital communication than real time communication as this allows them to take the time they need to process information. I hope this was helpful. If you have questions, thoughts, or things to add to this blog, post a comment below or email me (mindy@mindyaisling.com) |
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