MINDY AMITA AISLING
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A Blog for Big-Hearted Overthinkers

Canid Commentary & Useful Hacks on Being Human

How to be Authentic

8/20/2019

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Living an authentic life is an ongoing pursuit and rewarding lifelong discovery.  It can be challenging and requires commitment (to yourself).  However, the benefits of authentic living are abundant and well worth your time.  Here are just a few ideas to get started on the path to living authentically. 

Take Out the Trash
Take some quiet time to yourself to reflect on what guides you and who you really are.  Meditate, journal, draw, or just sit around and think.  Identify any ideas or 'rules' that you've picked up that are not in alignment with your true self, or are no longer serving you.  For example, some outdated beliefs might sound like:
  • Good people go to church
  • Good moms always put their kids first
  • Wives must serve their husbands
  • Heterosexual sex is "normal"
  • You have to go to college to be successful
  • Having a good career means you've "made it" in life
  • If I beat myself up (internally), I will prevent myself from failing again
  • I have to be liked by everyone
  • It's bad to 'make waves' or take up too much space
  • Blood is thicker than water (I have to stay close to my family, regardless)
  • If I fail, that means it wasn't meant to be
There are thousands of beliefs that we pick up from the time we are born until the day we choose to take control or our life and live on our own terms.  Identifying the beliefs that are not in alignment with our authentic core and 'taking out the trash' is the first step towards leading a more rewarding, and authentic, life. 

Live By Your Values
Identify your values, and consult them every single time you have to make a choice.  To identify your values, click here for some useful suggestions and worksheets.  Once you have your values identified - consult them at every turn until this becomes your modus operandi. 

Identify your 'Default Self' and your 'Intentional Self'
There is a you that happens by default, and there is a you that happens by choice, or intention.  For example, the default self wants to have a few glasses of wine after a hard day.  The intentional self chooses to exercise and talk with a close friend.  Our default selves often choose what is easy, or what I like to call 'lower shelf' activities.  Lower shelf activities are things like watching TV, playing video games, or scrolling on our phone.   Our intentional self is the one that creates positive habits and has the discipline to make them routines.  Authentic living requires that you are seated firmly in your intentional self.  

Communicate Honestly 
Honest communication involves saying what you mean, while respecting the other person's needs and feelings.  This takes emotional intelligence and good communication skills.  This also means speaking your mind, and avoiding sarcasm, cryptic hints, or ad hominem attacks.  

Develop Your EQ
When you live authentically, you consider other's needs and you to your best to treat them with courtesy and respect.  In stressful situations, this means knowing how to control your emotions.  Emotionally Intelligence (known as EQ or EI) is the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions.  This is an important part of living authentically because it demonstrates that you have the inner strength to respect those around you, and it's a skill worth developing, as it will serve you well in all aspects of your life and career.  
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    Mindy Amita Aisling, is a professionally trained and board-certified leadership, authenticity, and entrepreneur coach.

    Mindy exceeds all requirements set forth by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) for Master Coach certification.

    Mindy is also a licensed mediator, communications coach, and conflict resolution practicer.  As a mediator, she has worked both in private practice and as a court appointment mediator at her local county courthouse.

    Through her innovative approach, she assists clients in examining their limiting beliefs, questioning their assumptions about how the world works, and releasing the notion that they are anything less than perfect. As a result, individuals who work with Mindy cultivate the ability to stand firm in their beliefs, live authentically and decisively, and discover an experience of life that is easy and graceful.

    In 2021, Mindy founded How to Be Human and Entreprenerd. These programs have enabled her to share her wisdom and knowledge with a broader audience in service of her vision of helping others live authentic lives This, in turn, has empowered more individuals to lead their most TRUE and COURAGEOUS lives.

    ​When she is not working, Mindy can be found playing outdoors in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, creating art, spending time with friends & family, or with her nose deep in a book.

    ​You can sign up for her newsletter here.

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  • Coaching
    • What to Expect | The Coaching Relationship
    • Authentic Career | Coaching
    • Authentic Marriage | Coaching
    • Authentic Life | Coaching
    • Authentic Neurodivergent | Coaching
    • Coaching FAQ's
    • Coaching Inquiry
    • ICF Code of Ethics
    • Coaching Agreement
    • Mediation
  • Courses
    • Live Online Courses >
      • Authenticity Empowerment Series >
        • SHED
        • ENVISION
        • ALIGN
        • FOUNDATION
        • LOVE
        • CONFIDENCE
        • COURAGE
        • HARMONY
        • RESILIENCE
        • INTEGRATE
    • DIY Courses >
      • How to be Human >
        • Before You Begin
        • The Stories We Tell Ourselves
        • Navigating Needs
        • Hacking The Human Brain
    • In-Person Workshops >
      • Business EIntelligence Series
      • Custom Workshops
    • Scholarship Application
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